-I am an American.
I am a woman.
I am a Muslim.
I am black.
I am Somali.
I am a worshiper.
I am a daughter.
Sister.
I am a member of a community.
As a little girl, I would spend hours looking at the moon and dream of being an astronaut.
I gave up my dream because it didn’t seem possible.
Going to space isn't very accessible for someone like me.
I am at a point in my life when I need to choose my next steps.
Should I give my childhood dream of being an astronaut a try,
or should I go to grad school and pursue a career in public
health so I can give back to my community?
When I was little, I wanted to go to Space Camp. This is my chance.
My name is Mushtaq Dualeh.
I grew up in central Ohio, in Columbus.
My grandfather was the first one in my family to come to the U.S.
My mom was still young; she was 8 when she moved here.
I feel like my grandfather basically, like, accomplished the American dream
because all of his children are educated,doing such great work in the community.
Right now, I’m working at a local nonprofit focused on immigrant and refugee community.
This is my little nugget of thisplanet.
I feel so safe and secure.
One of my favorite things to do when I was a kid would be just
laying down in the grass, looking up into the stars.
The Islamic calendar is a lunar calendar, so it was more than
just this object that was in the sky.
It, like, had an actual impact on what I was doing every day or what month it was in Islam.
And when I was younger, I used to think it would follow me around everywhere I went.
Not anyone else, just me.
When I was younger, I really wanted to be an astronaut, but that dream started to feel a
little bit unrealistic once I actually started delving into it.
I didn’t see a lot of black women, I didn’t see a lot of Muslim women, I didn't see
anyone really that looked like me. And then also, having grown up in a household that is
focused on stability... Like being a doctor, an engineer, or
a lawyer are careers that took precedence over time.
I ended up not pursuing a career in becoming an astronaut,
because I just felt like I was needed here.
My parents always told me, like, you know, take the skills that you learn and put it back into
the community, and I just want to do right by them.
I want to make sure that all the sacrifices that they have made amount to something worthy.
-What are you going to be doing at Space Camp?
-I get to interact with an astronaut. Do, like, some astronaut training activities.
-Well, what about your master’s program, because I thought you
were going to go and start your graduate program?
-I haven’t made my decision yet on, like, what I’m going to do after.
-So, like, I’ve always wondered, in space, how do you pray?
-Because normally you have to face Mecca...
-You face the Earth.
-Imagine the isolation.
-Honestly, like, that’s one of my biggest fears. And then a night like tonight, where
everyone is together, all your family, all your friends, during Ramadan, it exacerbates the
fear. It’s like, aw, man, I’d be leaving all this, I’d be leaving, like, you guys,
and that’s just kind of...
-Put yourself out there, all the time.
-That’s the plan, guys.
Thanks so much for talking with me. Discussing it.
-You know we’re here for you.
-I appreciate it.
So, I’m leaving Columbus, and now I’m going to Huntsville, Alabama.
I’m going to go to Space Camp. I’m so excited.
I’m in Alabama, and already all of the decorations and stuff are space-related.
Alabama!
I’m sitting here in Huntsville, Alabama, and Space Camp is literally right outside my
window and I cannot wait to goand experience it.
-Welcome to Space Camp.
-Thank you.
-Head right into the habitat.
-All right thanks.
- You must be Mushtaq. Hi, I’m Hoot Gibson.
I’m going to be your guide today and I saw you admiring our space shuttle.
-Yes. It’s so amazing.
-I got to fly it five times.
-Really?
-We’re going to train you to fly the space shuttle, and I brought along, you’ve got to be...
-That’s for me?
-You’ve got to be in the right outfit to train and fly the space shuttle,
so we’ve got your flight suit for you.
-Cool! Oh, my gosh.
-Good. Let’s get started.
I was at the international space station, and I was given this mission where I had to fix the
outside of the space station and I had to wear the entire space suit.
With every aspect of the suit that was being put on, it felt more real and I felt like a
superhero. And it felt like I could do it.
I felt like a changemaker at that moment. Just through the
image of seeing a hijabi in a space suit.
I felt like just wearing it was a political statement.
So, I have the suit on; they start harnessing me up to fix the station.
I feel a little uncomfortable. My space shoe is slipping off.
My shoe is falling off.
-Boot failure.
-Things aren’t feeling as good as they should be. I start to get really hot, as well. I felt
like I was, like, trapped inthis inferno and also I was just hanging in the air.
It’s a real effort to actually control yourself and be able to do work in weightlessness.
-Oh, my god, this is so hard.
There was a certain point where I had to go down. I couldn’t stay up there anymore.
I think wearing a scarf on your head makes this way hotter.
-I’m sure it is, yeah
-Like, it’s so difficult.
-It is.
-It made me pause, like, ah, I want to do this? But also the competitive part was like, no,
you have to do it again; get your act together.
When I went back up, I was determined. My body’s not feeling good, but mentally,
I have to continue what I’m doing.
-I just got word from the space station that they’re dying, and we don't want them to die.
-OK.
All right, it’s in.
-Good. All right, close box 11.
-Very good. You’re getting the hang of it.
-Yeah!
-Nice Job.
-Once we succeeded, it felt good, really rewarding but not as good as I had wanted it to
feel because I didn’t do it on the first try. I’m not very good at this aspect of the
training. I need to do better inthe next thing.
- OK, Commander, a little bit of a rough start, but that’s why we do simulations. Let’s go ahead
and get on with the next phase of training.
-All right. Let’s do it.
I had this really cool opportunity to go into this deep pool that was like 20-something
feet deep and I was reallyscared and nervous because I can’t, like, legitimately swim;
I can just kind of, like, float. And I’m thinking, OK, I hope that my goggles don’t come off,
I hope that I can breath through this mechanism, I hope I don’t die.
I came all the way to Space Camp, and what if I fail?
As I was going down this tank, the pressure levels changed,
so you have to equalize or else it’s not good.
There was a ball and a basket and I picked up a bowling ball, and then I, like, threw it
under water, deep down, and it felt very zero gravity.
And then I got to do a rocket launch, which was super cool. I was a bit nervous about it
because the fear of being underwater was present. That was one activity that once we were
done, I felt really good about myself.
When I was walking around, I was kind of doing, like, those hops that Neil Armstrong does,
when was he was on the moon. That's kind of what I was mimicking in the bottom of a
24-foot-deep pool and was breathing for 46 minutes, and I’m alive so...
I feel like a winner.
I had another mission where I was the pilot and I had to land the shuttle successfully.
-All right, Mushtaq, welcome to the simulator. You’re going to be the commander, so that’s your seat.
-All right.
-Our lives are in your hands.
Alrighty.
Three. Two. One.
On my first try, there were a lot of things going on
and I didn’t really understand the system,
and the idea of, like, these lives are in your hands was very present in my mind.
As I was landing, I took, like, a sharp turn. The ship wasn’t in the correct angle.
So, we ended up in a forest and we all passed away, sadly, and it was all my fault and
I felt embarrassed because Hoot was apassenger.
We had another opportunity to try it again, and thankfully,
I was able to land the shuttle successfully.
No one died, including Hoot, so I felt really proud of myself, and Hoot was proud of me, too.
It felt so cool, because this is an astronaut, a real, live astronaut who’s been to space
multiple times, is proud of you. Like, you feel like you’re on top of the world.
-Well, Mushtaq, we started out a little bit rough.
You came back from it, and so it’s time to graduate you.
We noticed your name, Mushtaq, is very similar to my favorite racing airplane, the P51
Mustang, so we have adorned you with the call sign of Mustang.
So, these are your wings and here is your emblem for you to put in place,
just like I have mine here.
-Cool!
-So, Mustang, congratulations.
-Thank you so much, Hoot.
Every astronaut gets a call name, and I have been named Mustang.
Mustang is a really cool horse and it’s Hoot Gibson’s favorite plane.
All of the skills that I learned the past few days definitely were cumulative. I definitely
feel like I got the holistic sense of astronaut training.
I felt really proud of myself for embarking on that journey and discovering more about that
career and the work that astronauts do and the training that they go through and
learning from Hoot how educated and driven you have to be to pursue a career as an astronaut.
Even with all that, it still felt like, OK, this isn't that unrealistic, and that I can use
my skills in math and science and my love for that. Now, it feels like this is something
that’s doable. I often feel like I’m old now, I can’t really change careers or anything,
but it’s definitely opened doors that I thought were already closed.
When I got home, I spent a lot of time contemplating, praying, and reflecting.
I hope that I will be able to impact people in a positive way,
whether I become an astronaut or go to grad school.
I’m trying to figure in which career do I want to make that positive impact. Like,
which one do I think is the most worthy of my time?
One way that being an astronaut could create positive change is that I would be a role model for
little girls that look like me. There’s not many women of color that are doing this,
or even women of faith that are doing this, so that’s just one way.
And that’s why I’m like, maybe I should do this.