- I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE,
BECAUSE WHEN YOU ARE HERE,
YOU ARE SO NICE TO MY AUDIENCE
EVERY SINGLE TIME.
AND I WANT TO GIVE YOU EXAMPLES OF HOW NICE HE IS
TO MY AUDIENCE.
[cheers and applause]
I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S HOW THE FLU SEASON
GOT STARTED LAST YEAR.
I WANT SOMEONE IN TODAY'S AUDIENCE
TO GET A CHANCE FOR HIM TO BE THAT NICE TO YOU,
SO TODAY...
[cheers and applause]
TODAY WE HAVE TURNED OUR DJ BOOTH
INTO A KISSING BOOTH.
[cheers and applause]
AND BECAUSE IT'S BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH...
- COME ON, ELLEN.
- BECAUSE IT'S BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH,
I AM GONNA LET THE AUDIENCE BID,
AND THE KISS IS GONNA GO TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER.
AND ALL THE MONEY THAT WE RAISE FOR THIS KISS
IS GONNA GO TO BREAST CANCER RESEARCH FOUNDATION.
AND I AM GONNA START THE BIDDING...
AT $50.
AND I'M NOT KIDDING AROUND HERE.
IT GOES TO A GOOD CAUSE.
WE WILL TAKE CHECKS IF YOU DON'T HAVE CASH.
ALL RIGHT. $50.
WHO'S GONNA KISS SHEMAR?
$50. WE HAVE $50 BACK THERE.
YES, SIR.
[cheers and applause]
$60, $60?
$60?
$60 GOING RIGHT THERE.
$60.
DO I HEAR $70?
$70.
BREAST CANCER RESEARCH. $70.
WE HAVE 70-- $75.
75 GOING TO BREAST CANCER RESEARCH.
$75.
- THIS IS CRAZY. - $80 GOING TO BREAST--
100 BUCKS GOING TO BREAST CANCER RESEARCH.
100 BUCKS.
1-1-1-125?
$200 GOING TO BREAST CANCER RESEARCH.
$200.
[cheers and applause]
$200.
$300 AND I THROW IN A TRIP TO...
A TWO-NIGHT STAY AT PALM SPRINGS RESORT.
$300.
350?
LET'S MAKE IT 400,
AND I THROW IN A 12 DAYS TICKET.
$400.
12 DAYS TICKET, PALM SPRINGS.
$500.
- $500?
- WAIT, WE HAVE 4 ALREADY.
YOU GOT TO TOP THAT.
$500 AND YOU GET THOSE THINGS.
$500?
WHAT?
- 450. - [chuckles]
450,
AND IT'S 12 DAYS TICKETS AND PALM SPRINGS VACATION
OR $500 AND--
- 500.
- $500.
[cheers and applause]
DO I HEAR $600?
$600, 12 DAYS TICKET.
HOW ABOUT IF I THROW IN A IPAD MINI?
WHAT IF I THROW THAT IN?
$500.
12 DAYS, IPAD MINI, PALM SPRINGS VACATION.
YOU KISS SHEMAR MOORE.
- [laughs]
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY GOOD DEAL, RIGHT?
[cheers and applause]
$600.
GO KISS SHEMAR.
- ELLEN IS THE BEST TALK SHOW HOST IN THE WORLD,
BUT ON HER OFF TIME, SHE'S A PIMP, OKAY?
[cheers and applause]
- IF NOBODY-- I WILL HELP YOU GET TO HIM.
I DON'T KNOW HOW--
- SHOULD I GO UP HERE?
- WHEREVER Y'ALL WANT TO DO IT.
[cheers and applause]
- CAN I GET A HUG FIRST?
CAN WE, LIKE, TALK BEFORE WE--
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- DANISHA, I'M SHEMAR.
HI, BABY.
[cheers and applause]
- $600.
YOU'RE NOT HUGGING FOR $600.
- THAT WAS WORTH IT. - KISS HER.
- OH, GOODNESS.
OKAY.
ARE YOU MARRIED?
[cheers and applause]
- I AM SO MARRIED.
I AM SO CHRISTIAN.
- OKAY, IS YOUR HUSBAND IN THE BUILDING?
- NO.
- WELL, THEN LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN.
[cheers and applause]
- WAIT, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
[cheers and applause]
GIVING AWAY YOUR HAT, ELLEN.
YOU PIMPED ME OUT, SO I'M GIVING AWAY YOUR HAT.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
HERE WE GO.
[cheers and applause]
COME ON.
IT'S ONLY AN HOUR SHOW.
READY?
[cheers and applause]
- ALL RIGHT.
WHOO!
[cheers and applause]
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.