>> Geez, you guys need to cut your little emo hippie hair off.
>> Shut up!
>> No, she already turned me down six times.
You'd really find out why for me?
Awesome, thanks, Ian.
All right, cool.
>> Anthony.
Anthony, I came as fast as I could.
Okay, listen.
I hid in Emily's tree and heard her saying why she won't date you.
>> What is it?
>> You know how she said that you are too scrawny or too stupid or too weak?
>> I get it.
What about it?
>> Remember that one time that she said that your breath smelled like rotting animal carcass?
>> All right.
What is it?
>> Well, it turns out that those are all fake excuses. The real reason she won't date you is because she only dates guys with short hair.
>> That's it, Ian.
I'm going to need you to do just one thing.
>> Hire Colombian drug cartel and kidnap her family and take them back to Colombia by boat under the cover of nightfall to have them work in manual labor to force her to go on a date with you?
>> No! I guess it could work, but I think it would be easier if you just cut my hair for me.
>> I will do it.
But first, I'm going to need some training.
Anthony.
I'm ready.
>> Let's do it.
>> Finally.
My masterpiece is complete.
Behold.
>> It's -- it's -- >> What?
What?
Did I do something wrong?
Did I mess up your little haircut?
>> It's just that it's so beautiful.
Ian, Ian, I need you to do just one last thing for me.
>> Anything.
>> Hello?
>> It's Ian.
My friend Anthony wanted to ask you a question.
>> Sir, the reason we called is that I want to ask for permission to date your daughter.
>> You do know that she got married two years ago?
Right?
Ian, you were there.
Don't you remember?
>> What?
You never told me that.
So do you have any other daughters by any chance?
What?
>> I just had to look at your short hair again.
[ Laughter ] You look like Donny Osmond.
[ Laughter ] >> It's so short.
Short, short hair.
Boo-hoo.