"My wife doesn't like me
touching her anymore."
That's no fun! My name is Paul Friedman, I
founded The Marriage Foundation
and I'm going to be candid with you. I'm
going to talk about
what is the most common reasons
for women not being open and receptive
to their husbands, and I'm not going to
get into the
social commentary about how women are
mistrained
but they are. Rather
we're going to talk about your marriage
and your relationship with your wife,
and what you're probably doing that is
wrong
but I don't want you to stop at this
video. Subscribe to the channel
so you can learn more about marriage so
you can achieve the happiness and the
love
that you envisioned when you asked your
wife to marry you.
So usually what happens
is that men are insensitive
to the needs of their wives,
and because men are so
simple you might say,
they want feedback. They
ask questions and it doesn't work.
You need to be sensitive to her
on all levels not just physically,
not just what turns her on or turns her
off,
not just the sensory stuff but you also
have to be
aware of and sensitive to her emotional
state and her psychological state.
So most men joke about
how women want to just talk about things
without realizing that this is very
important for them.
It sort of opens doors
for them for their husbands to
psychologically come in.
So one of the most important things
for a man to understand and then to
apply
is that his wife has a need
to express herself to a listener.
Are you a listener? I would wager that
you're not,
and being a listener is a deep
thing.
You have to listen not with the idea
that
you're hearing what's going on so you
can fix things
because they don't want you to fix
anything.
They just want you to hear them, to
listen
with understanding
and sincerity, sincere understanding
so that's a big thing.
Another big thing is that
your timing has to be good.
If you want your wife to be interested
in you, you have to gauge the timing.
Women are very sensitive
and they're very sensitive to all sorts
of things
and you have to be psychologically
embracing her which sends a message
of protection. Meaning that she can go
nuts, she can be happy one second,
angry the next second and you're a
constant.
You're not reacting. You're there
for her all the time. Most men don't
understand this
about women and
they respond to them as if they were men
and that won't work. You have to tune
into your wife enough to start gaining
understanding of her needs, of her needs
from her point of view
not so that you can fix them
but so you could be aware and allow her
to be herself in her space
which is part of your space.
Your space being the space of the two of
you.
Usually, when women don't allow their
husbands to touch them
it's a metaphor that you're not
touching their heart. You're not there
for them.
You can and you should learn as
much as you can about marriage
through these videos by signing up
but you got to go further. Get one of my
books
or take the course for men so you could
really
grasp marriage and your wife
and yourself in the entirety
for the purpose of achieving the reason
you got married in the first place.
To be happy, to be happier
every single day of your life. Happier
than the day before --
that's how it is for me and many of
those who take
the course for men and the course for
women also learn how to do this.
It's an education that's being
missed.
Then there's some other reasons why
women don't want to be touched.
Some men actually think when they work
out at the gym and they come home,
they have that manly smell and women
fall for them,
nonsense. Men should be clean.
They should be well-groomed.
You need to be sensitive to your wife's
perception
of you. You have to be attractive to her
and that means physically
as well as psychologically and
emotionally.
You have to be aware of what turns her
on.
Why she would want to touch you? Why does
your wife
not want to touch you? What will make
your wife
want to touch you? You can't ask.
You can't ask but you can pay attention.
You could do some introspection. You
could
look at yourself in the mirror and ask
yourself candidly.
Why would she not want to touch me?
What am I doing? What am I not doing
that's causing this? Think about
being with another person is that it's a
very
personal thing, and I can tell you
the most important thing is for you to
learn how to
know yourself.
If you don't know yourself, you're not
going to be able to take your marriage
to the next
level. Never mind just getting to the
basics of having normal sexuality
and normal intimacy. You have to learn
how to pay attention.
You have to learn what to pay attention
too.
I have a course for men. You could
always use that.
I have books that I've written that will
be helpful and of course, subscribing to
this channel will help too.
You have a long way to go. If your
marriage is at this point,
it's hitting near critical
ending and you don't want it to go any
further. It's the time to take this
as a wake-up call -- that's what I would
say.
I hope this was helpful to you. You could
write in to
our counselors -- it's a free service at
The Marriage Foundation
and we will do everything we can to help
you
improve your marriage. Take care and God
bless! Thank you for spending time
with me!