There are now 15 Democrats
running in the primary. That's so many people.
Look at all those faces.
Look at all of those faces!
They've got enough people
to start the world's worst soccer team.
And because there are so many Democrats running,
many Democratic voters are wondering,
"How do I know which one to choose?"
Well, for Ronny Chieng, the choice is clear.
Here's his report.
The 2020 presidential campaign. Like my afternoon poop,
it's not quite here yet, but I can already feel it.
Out of all the candidates,
there's only one I can see myself in.
I'm Andrew Yang,
and I'm running for president as a Democrat in 2020.
CHIENG: He's a successful businessman,
and I don't know if it's the cut of his suits
or the way he lights up a room,
but there's just something about this guy
that makes me want to vote for him based on zero research.
Okay, so, you're Asian.
You're running for president.
What else is there to know?
Uh, my platform.
Right. Uh, I thought your platform was...
being Asian.
There are many, many other Americans
who care more about my stance on the issues
than, frankly, uh, you know, what my race is.
-Which is? -Asian.
Yes. And that's all we need to know here.
Okay, let's wrap this up.
♪ ♪
You know, uh, I think we should discuss my platform.
If you want to talk about what you believe
or whatever, go for it.
I'm gonna edit all this out, by the way.
I believe that every American adult at the age of 18
should get $1,000 a month free and clear
from the government to do whatever they want.
For working hard, right?
Oh, for being a citizen of this great country.
CHIENG: As his ads show,
Yang is all about universal basic income,
the idea that the government
should give everyone a monthly check,
even if they're not working.
You can't just give people free money.
That's the only reason people work.
If I was getting paid without having to work...
You can't quit your job on $12,000 a year.
It would it make so that Americans can transition
as technology is eating away many, many jobs.
Artificial intelligence is around the corner.
Oh, my God. Artificial intelligence?
Robots? That's your thing?
-Yes. -Dude, you are making it so hard
to blindly vote on identity politics right now.
Projections are that about 44% of American jobs
are subject to automation.
Self-driving cars and trucks are going to displace
-five million Americans who drive for a living. -Shit.
It's going to displace hundreds of thousands of bookkeepers,
lawyers and on and on.
CHIENG: According to Yang, everyone but me
should get ready to be replaced.
However, budget policy expert Bob Greenstein
doesn't think that will happen.
Robots are coming for some jobs,
but they're not going to replace all the jobs
or even most of the jobs.
But are you only defending robots
because you're a robot?
No, I'm not a robot.
Prove it.
Which of these squares has a stop sign?
-Three of them. -Yeah, point to the scares.
This one, that one, and this is the third.
Very good.
But I'm not sure I just proved I'm not a robot.
-What do you mean? -Well, maybe you could develop a robot
that could identify the stop sign squares, too.
What?
So, Bob might not be human, but he's got to recognize
that Yang's universal basic income is a winning idea.
UBI is a beautiful idea.
Thank you. That's all I needed to know.
Well, it actually isn't all you need to know.
The problem is it's a beautiful idea
that'll never really happen.
Ronny, it costs nearly $4 trillion a year.
Why wouldn't people vote for that?
Have you ever had someone wave cash money in your face?
-Not really. -It feels like this.
Can you feel that?
I can feel the wind.
That's some cash wind.
Where does the money for the cash wind come from?
But, Bob, it's no fun asking where this came from.
Policies only really work if they can happen.
In the real world...
CHIENG: I don't need to listen to Bob.
All he cares about is reality.
If this presidency has taught us anything,
it's that reality doesn't matter anymore.
Now we're going to have the space force
because it's a whole...
CHIENG: So, if Andrew Yang is gonna stand a chance
in this election, he's gonna have to learn
what really excites today's voters.
If we had a value-added tax at even half the European level,
-we'd generate... -You're using all these numbers
and all this nerd shit.
Listen, there's only one thing
that wins elections in America, okay?
That's fear and hate.
That's two things.
Okay, again with the numbers.
People are jobless, angry,
and ready to blame their problems on another race,
and robots are the one race it's okay to hate.
Yeah, well, robots aren't a race, for one.
Good, deny their humanity. That's a great first step.
The next time you campaign, I want you to go out and say,
"Robots are causing all the robot crime in robot Chicago."
-There is no Robot Chicago. -Doesn't matter.
We're not talking about truth. We're talking about hate
and fear and getting in power
for Asian people
and getting revenge on every single person
-who ever said we weren't good enough. -Yeah, I'm for...
I'm for none of those things.
Okay, good thing I'm here to help you out.
So, this is an ad we prepared for your campaign.
Andrew Yang knows America is being invaded by robots.
They're sneaking across the border,
taking the jobs we love
and imposing their same-sex robot sharia law.
Andrew Yang will stop the robots
-from banging your wife -(whirring)
and becoming your son's new dad.
Yang 2020.
You will not replace us.
What do you think?
It's kind of the opposite
of where we need to go.
So you do not approve this message?
No, I do not approve this message.
You do not what? Sorry, I missed that.
Approve this message.
And what-what is your name again?
I'm Andrew Yang.
Yang 2020.
(bleep) the robots.
(bleep) them to hell.
I'm Andrew Yang and I-- approve this message.
(laughs)
Ronny Chieng, everyone.