When I start thinking about taboos,
there’s one that comes to mind: porn.
You know what I mean.
Sexually explicit material, erotica, adult movies, the works.
But in this day and age with tons of varied
pornography available to all of us with a
single click of a button, is porn becoming less taboo?
Hi guys.
I’m Laura, and I do watch porn.
I do watch porn.
I watch porn.
A lot of porn.
Who doesn’t?
I don’t watch porn actually.
I am like pro-masturbation and pro-sex positivity,
but porn just doesn’t fit in to my practice.
I was probably 15.
It was probably like 2 a.m. on a Friday.
And I was just watching late night HBO and
then all of a sudden porn.
My brother when I went to college gave me
his old computer filled with vintage porn
from the 1970s.
I remember a time before the internet.
I’m old enough to remember that point.
When I first started looking at porn,
it was probably Victoria’s Secret catalogues that
came in the mail.
Back when there were tons of pop-ups on the
internet, something just came on the screen
and I didn’t know what I was looking at.
I just knew that it needed to get away.
When doing research there were a variety of
statistics about the number of women who watch
porn.
And it makes you wonder, are women ashamed to admit it?
I think all women honestly watch porn in some
kind of capacity.
If it’s not physically watching it,
then they’re probably reading about it in a book.
In cities and in a little bit more liberal
locations, people aren’t as embarrassed
to talk about their porn habits.
Every one in five people on their phones or
on the internet is looking at porn.
It’s not taboo.
The politicians in the right wing media make it taboo.
I think porn is taboo for women because masturbation
is taboo for women.
There is a lot of conversation when we’re
kids around women's sexuality and around women’s
bodies that like, “Nope, you’re not
supposed to touch there.
Nope, you’re not supposed to look at this.”
Watching porn goes against all of those things.
News flash, women masturbate… a lot.
So how does porn and feminism intersect?
Well here at R29 we strongly believe that
you can be a feminist who enjoys porn.
I’ve been trying to skew my porn habits
towards sensual, female-oriented porn.
Feminist porn is pornography that is created
by females through a female lens.
Male gaze engineered pornography has a lot
of problematic aspects.
Feminist porn is a kind of antidote to that.
I think that’s really important that that
exists for those people who might feel like
typical, classic porn is just not an accurate portrayal.
I could be a feminist.
I could be intelligent.
I could be witty.
And I could still watch porn.
I could still be sensual.
I could still be a pole dancer if I wanted to.
When you take porn into your own hands as
like, “I’m going to watch something for me,”
that right there is the tenace of self-care feminism.
I definitely think that porn does produce
unrealistic expectations of women.
Men expect women to orgasm every time we have sex.
Sex is a lot more awkward than porn makes it.
Pornography is a fantasy in a weird way for the viewer.
I mean for the workers, it’s a job.
It definitely helps to normalize some taboo topics,
and also some taboo kinks or sex acts.
These are things that people are interested in.
Maybe you should try it.
Maybe you’re not into it.
Maybe you don’t try it.
Maybe you have a conversation with your partner
and see if you both land on something.
I think it just opens up a door to possibly
giving your bedroom life a little extra.
It became pretty clear that porn plays an
integral part in people’s relationships too.
I have watched porn with a partner in the past.
The conversation around it to begin with is always finding common ground.
My favorite pastime was watching porn with
one of my lovers.
It’s too distracting because I’m like,
“Wait, what’re they doing?
Okay I got to do that.
Oh no that’s not what they’re doing.”
And then you’re like, “Is this person enjoying it?”
There’s a lot happening at once.
It definitely is a productive conversation
to have with your partner.
To just get on the same page and figure out
some things you might want to try.
We’ve talked about the types of porn that we’re interested in.
Just because it’s a really easy entry way
for me to kind of talk about the things that turn me on.
You should definitely be willing to talk about
it if you’re in any sort of committed relationship.
Because what you’re into definitely does
have an effect on your relationship with your partner.
We live in a society where we judge so quickly
and I think there’s nothing wrong with exploring pornography.
In order to make porn less taboo, you have to talk about it.
Talk about it with your partner, because you
might be surprised how many people share your
views or have the same sort of feelings that you do.
Use pornography as a way to enhance your sex life.
Don’t make it the thing that changes your
whole sex life because as you know it’s
lighting, it’s a camera,
it’s studio, whatever.
But take parts of it.
Go on the internet.
Be alone.
Definitely make sure you do incognito.
Type in something.
Be like I want to see romantic porn and just enjoy, look, feel.
Love yourself.
God, that should be a t-shirt.
So don’t be afraid to explore.
It’s easier to embrace your sexuality if you know what’s out there.
Use porn as a tool for yourself and your relationships,
but remember, porn is a production—
like this set.