There have been some great games born from tech demos.
Usually they still have that feel about them, more about flash than substance, like the
"Game" experience was tacked on just to satisfy an expectation while you enjoy the graphical
prowess of this new shiny box.
Goat Simulator, though, operates kinda differently.
Built originally as an absurd joke by Coffee Stain Studios, the video of this goat running
around, breaking things, and generally causing havoc inside a glitchy-as-all-hell physics
engine was hilarious in its strangeness, and immediately had folks clamoring to play the
"real game."
But there was no real game to Goat Simulator.
So, being the enterprising sort (and noticing the line of folks with money in their hands
and a demand in their hearts) Coffee Stain tacked on some vaguely game-like mechanics
and BOOM.
Goat Simulator was born.
Goat help us all.
So you're a goat.
You have no backstory, and neither does anything in this town.
Y'see, that'd make you care about these things, and that's not what Goat Simulator's all about.
Goat Simulator is about BREAKING THINGS and BEING A GOAT.
You can lick things, you can beat up things by headbutting them, and you can occasionally
use bits of the scenery to jump on or get ahead.
That's about it.
The entire appeal is in making a mess of things, exploring, and racking up score multipliers
by breaking things in new and interesting ways.
And, y'know, watching the hilariously broken physics cause all sorts of issues, from a
dude's leg jutting out of the wall of a convenience store to just... this, the hell that is climbing
up a ladder.
Because let's face it, if goats ever learned how to navigate ladders...
there'd be none of us left.
There isn't much of a goal in Goat Simulator, either, except for the few achievements you're
offered as a basic way of directing the lack-of-plot.
Mostly it's a toy, a chance to unwind, and to have fun with a game that absolutely refuses
to either take itself seriously or patch any of the eleven bajillion bugs you're going
to come across.
Really, making sense of the whole thing is a greater challenge than anything you're going
to find on these city streets.
But that's certainly not going to stop you from looking, is it?
I didn't think so.
This is about as freeform as gaming gets, absolute liberation from the need to do anything.
And it's all because of a deranged goat.
If you really need a goal, though, you've got a time-trial mode where you're tasked
with racking up the highest score in a minute.
Bleating optional.
Goat Simulator doesn't pay all that much attention to its graphics or sound, because... well,
it just doesn't.
Hell, it'd probably be more jarring to see a game this mechanically broken with excellent
graphics and sound, because THEN it'd be a disappointment.
Instead, you get a weird, blippy, repetitive audio track, passible if lackluster models
and textures, and a button to bleat on command.
And honestly, that's all you need.
The controls will take some geting used to, but soon you'll be tearing through the streets
and getting mauled by oncoming traffic in no time.
And if you do suffer the fate worse than death- vis, being stuck in the geometry and unable
to get out - all you gotta do is hit respawn and BAM.
You're back out on the streets, terrorizing passersby.
It looks like the stupidest game of the year, and frankly, it is the stupidest game iof
the year.
But that's exactly what Goat Simualtor was going for, and so by their twisted definition,
it does absolutely everything it set out to do.
Don't act like you're not loving it every second of it, either.