Louie. Good to see you.
What's up? Hi Conan.
Nice to talk to you.
Now, where are you right now Louie?
I am in Henderson, Nevada.
Okay.
I'm living right out of Las Vegas.
Okay.
And are you alone or are you quarantining with somebody?
Well, there's one other person here.
Half of the time I'm me and the other half,
I'm this person.
(Conan laughs)
You put on the wig.
I put on the wig.
(Conan laughs)
I put on the shmock.
I put a shmock on cause that seems pandemicky
So it's very nice.
So you can be the character you were in baskets.
You just put on a wig
and then you can just hang out with each other.
Yeah, we talk.
"How are you Louie?"
"I don't know".
(Both laugh)
So it's kinda that kind of thing.
Yeah.
My mom was notorious for going,
"Mom how are ya?"
"I guess I'm okay".
(Conan laughs)
Oh God!
So you just sit down
cause it was gonna be a while from then on.
Yeah. It kind of takes the energy out of the room.
Out of the universe actually.
(laughs merrily)
Just hard to do.
Now did you get vaccinated?
You got vaccinated, right? I did.
I just got my second shot.
Great.
And, God, just right after I got it, maybe an hour,
I started nauseating, I was feeling sick.
I called the doctor.
I go, "Can it happen that fast?"
And then I went,
"Oh wait. I did stop and get White Castle on the way home."
(laughs heartily)
So that could have bee...
(laughs heartily)
Now, are you taking care of yourself?
Cause you look good.
Thank you. Are you taking care
of yourself?
Are you being healthy? Are you living healthy?
It's such a relative statement, isn't it?
When people say that...
I started the pandemic at about 378 or 80 pounds
depending on what I was leaning on.
( Both laugh heartily)
And now I'm at 340.
Oh good for you.
I'm trying to get to 275
so I can get into some of my mom's actual clothes.
(Both laugh heartily)
I got to tell you Louie you're killing backstage here.
There's like four people back here
that are laughing out loud.
Very funny.
It's a start.
Yeah.
But we've got to build back.
Yeah.
So that's good. Better.
You gotta build back better.
You're losing weight.
Yes. I'm on the intermittent fast.
One minute I'm eating,
the next minute I'm not.
(laughs heartily)
Then I take another minute off.
I figured that way I'm only eating 30 minutes
out of 60, which is half.
So I'm getting...
I'm trying to get down to 40, 20.
I'm not eating for 40 and then I'm eating for 20.
Now, it's a wonderful thing the intermittent fasting.
Intermittent.
Woo! That's a rough one for a Midwesterner.
Yeah.
I just realized that you a better version of my hair.
This was expensive.
This was very expensive. Like mine is.
I've this whole...
I'm able to rent this out for corn and wheat.
(laughs heartily)
Now what's gonna happen.
I just thought of something
that I'm concerned about which is--
Uh oh!
You've spent a career
telling really funny jokes about being heavy,
what do you do?
You're losing weight.
You're gonna get down to this goal weight of 275.
Are you gonna retire those jokes?
I'm thinking, yes.
I'm gonna retire my fat jokes.
And then I think I'll always be funny
but I can remember doing my first jokes
and I did 1978.
I sound a hundred years old saying that.
But, my first joke,
I walked up on stage and I go,
"I can't stay long I'm in between meals".
(laughs heartily)
And it got a big laugh.
That's the first joke you tried out.
Yeah.
And then I said, "When I was born I weighed 60 pounds.
The doctor had to bring a crane in to slap my ass".
(laughs merrily)
So you hit on this idea early
and you went with it. Yes.
I was a breastfed baby. My mom went dry.
Okay (laughs).
Come on.
All right. They're not appropriate.
But listen, this is why I'm retiring now.
Yeah.
Maybe, you could have retired these a while ago.
Just one more, one more, one more.
One more little run that I love.
Do you mind if I do it?
No, go ahead!
All right.
I was in the fat Olympics,
that pole vault, I drove that sucker right into the ground.
(Conan laughs heartily)
I did a good thing though.
I straightened out those uneven parallel bars.
(laughs heartily)
And this is a very
inappropriate joke Which one?
This is the one that cracked up Johnny Carson.
Broad jump, killed her.
(Both laugh heartily)
I apologize to all you women out there. I'm sorry.
No, no, no. It's fine.
You mean it in the best way.
(laughs heartily)
Well.