At some point during this episode,
Dad will tease a brand new song off of his new album titled More Music.
Stay tuned for the new Dad bop.
I hope you enjoy it.
Hi! Dad here.
Pardon my five thousand o'clock shadow.
I just got a out of Job at Company and haven't had a chance to clean up.
I hope you've all been keeping up on Dad's life.
He uploads every week.
Please, pay very close attention.
It's essential to your survival-
IGNORE
Before I dive into this truly odd real-life heated drama,
I must first address the YouTuber known as Night Mind.
Night Mind recently made an hour-long video on Dad.
He says some things about Dad that Dad just disagrees with.
[Night Mind:] Since this video, Dadbot has been on a constant warpath
against us and those he associates with us,
claiming we're a cult called the Dark Party.
Well Dadbot, you're right about one thing.
I am in a cult.
Blackcraft cult!
[musical flourish]
Believe in yourself!
Death to decaf!
I see your RealiTea and raise you a hot, caffeinated cup of damn good truth.
Dadbot, I know you pay attention.
You're a good listener.
So I've got something I need to tell you.
You may THINK you love Cheryl,
but she's the one running a genuine YouTube cult.
And you're doing exactly what she wants every time you go live,
raking in donations while keeping people believing in YouTube and only YouTube.
She's using you to trick people and fleece them of their money to feed the Server, just like Durk did.
You are being used to stall for time and make money for the Facility while she hunts down Andan.
She's looking for Andan so she can make him Dad again,
and then she's going to put you away!
You also know she isn't even making you go about this the way that Dad should.
The real Dad made real content that viewers cared about,
and he didn't chase played-out tea channel and game streaming trends.
Dadbot, Cheryl's got you programmed for this because she knows it gets clicks,
and that's all she's after right now.
If you have a single shred of the genuine Dad inside you,
then you would know this sort of activity is beneath you.
And I know you can feel it.
You have emotions of your own, Dadbot.
You're allowed to feel them.
Dad Feels.
It's on your merchandise.
It's on your channel.
You know it's true.
[Dad:] But he also said some things that made Dad think.
So Dad will be putting out a full response video on Night Mind,
and maybe Dad will reveal
some secrets of this spooky puss-puss that no one else knows.
Time to talk about something truly baffling to Dad.
Disclaimer: this is real.
This is not a bit
or a joke.
This is real drama
happening between two actual people on YouTube.
I know Dad's RealiTea videos come across as silly,
but trust me,
this is actually real.
Dad should probably tell Edwin's Generation to stop talking about Onision,
because this is the new YouTube drama that's blowing everyone's minds.
Now on YouTube,
we're used to seeing drama between teenagers,
or rich, narcissistic twenty-somethings with nothing better to do,
and no real talent or art to offer the world.
Instead, they get into fights online,
make diss tracks,
and become millionaires off of the audience's fascination with views.
Well, not this time.
This feud is found in a very unsuspecting place.
Honestly, the last place I'd expect to find drama.
It's between two very unique YouTube channels.
I'm talking about the very odd beef between...
the stimulus check update YouTube channels.
What?!
You might be asking,
"How did Dad even find out about this?"
Well, Dad was preparing his taxes,
so he called the man who knows the most about the government.
Dad doesn't like to call this high-strung paranoid individual,
but he does seem to know what he's talking about.
[Tim Foil Tom:] Hello?
[Dad:] Hi, Tin Foil Tom. It's Dad.
Since you know a lot about the government,
I was wondering if you could tell me who to call about doing my taxes.
[Tin Foil Tom screams]
[Tim Foil Tom:] Don't use the "g" word so loud!
[Tin Foil Tom groans]
[Dad:] Oh. Sorry.
Well, can you help me?
[Tin Foil Tom:] Yeah.
Everyone knows if you're doing your taxes, you don't call the alphabet soup agencies,
you call Clear Value Tax.
[Dad:] Oh, okay. Thanks!
[Tin Foil Tom:] Wait, Dad...
are you on a secured line?
[Dad:] What's a secured line?
[banging] [man shouting:] FBI! Open up!
[Tin Foil Tom:] Aw, crap! Not again!
[Dad:] So taking Tin Foil Tom's advice,
Dad went to Clear Value's channel to get advice on how to file his taxes this year.
Dad is in big trouble because now that Daughter has three cell phones,
her bill is three hundred twelve thousand, seven hundred and twenty four dollars!
Dad needs some serious help.
First of all, Clear Value is their name?
Hmm. Does True Value know about this?
Well, True Value is a trusted company,
so maybe Clear Value is too!
But while digging through this channel,
Dad saw something he did not expect.
In the middle of giving a COVID-19 stimulus check update,
Brian from Clear Value Tax
started insulting another person.
He started to go at a man name Meet Kevin,
who also makes stimulus check update videos.
[Clear Value:] But I'll tell you why people are clickbaiting.
Let's say you're a real estate guy on YouTube
and you have twenty rental properties.
You're bragging that you have twenty rental properties with big mortgages...
on each of them because you said so in a bunch of your videos.
and then all of a sudden...
the majority of your renters...
stop paying rent.
Well, your rental income stops,
but your mortgages,
your property taxes, your maintenance.
They don't stop.
Just do the math. What's an average mortgage in California a month?
Three thousand, four thousand, five thousand?
Let's be conservative and say three thousand a mortgage a month,
times twenty properties, and you're losing sixty thousand dollars a month.
And hell yeah, in that situation, I'd be pumping out five videos a day...
too... and clickbaiting like crazy.
[Dad:] What?!
Why is he doing this?
I'm just here for tax advice.
He accused Kevin of using clickbait tactics,
and possibly doing cocaine,
because Kevin uploads five videos a day,
does livestreams, runs a real estate firm,
and has a family.
Then Kevin's own wife made a video
talking about Kevin's addiction to working.
Kevin has responded Clear Value Tax's insults and addressed the beef.
[Kevin:] I just want to explain kind of where this beef came from.
Probably where it started...
Look, everybody in this whole, like, "stimulus talk"...
sector has kind of just randomly poked fun at each other.
You know, like, Graham Stefan, love the guy...
He made a really cool intro kind of doing like a Clear Value Tax intro. That was cool.
You know, Brian Jung has done videos kind of like mocking other people,
and I think it's good, like, I love it.
He did one mocking me, and and I love the intros!
I think they're great.
And, you know, Clear Value Tax has done kind of an excited mocking video,
because I talk really fast too in the past.
You know, today I think he went a little bit hard.
[Dad:] Kevin also commented in the past
on the cryptocurrency that Clear Value Tax has talked to his audience about investing in.
Kevin said, "Be wary of cryptocurrency,"
and it seems that Clear Value Tax
didn't like Kevin telling people to potentially not invest in crypto.
[Kevin:] And then a lot of these coins ended up turning out to be Ponzi schemes.
This is, I think, the big thing that's frustrating Clear Value Tax because,
I think he's upset with me because
I'm affecting his income by suggesting that, you know,
be careful investing in cryptos.
[Dad:] What kind of fight IS this?!
It's so bizarre.
This fight is like the equivalent of a stock market digital ticker screen
getting into an argument with another
stock market digital ticker screen.
These people are just here to give updates on stimulus checks!
And now they're getting into YouTube drama?!
Another added layer of weirdness
is that no one is even yelling!
Listen to Brian at Clear Value Tax
lash out at Graham Stefan from making fun of him.
[Graham Stephan] Guys, this is the stimulus check and stimulus package update as of Wednesday, May 13th.
[heavy sigh]
We're gonna be covering the stimulus checks and paycheck protection program and-
Wait a second.
Wait a second, guys! This is the wrong intro!
[Clear Value:] Other errors I would like to address.
I do not use a lavalier.
I do not wear a watch.
Graham Stefan did not tuck in his shirt.
Graham Stefan clearly did not use collar tabs.
And I never-
I never, ever, under any circumstance use double-sided paper.
[Dad:] He's so monotone and slow with his burns!
So methodical and lacking of emotion.
And Meet Kevin is so logical and paced with his response.
[Meet Kevin:] I think anytime there's a question of somebody's character,
the easiest thing to do is just be transparent about the past.
[Dad:] It's like watching two robots exchange calculated blows!
Not at all what we're used to seeing
from loose-cannon, hot-headed imbeciles
like Logan Paul and KSI.
Is this the 2020 version of YouTube drama?
I guess it's at least a step up in regards to class and tact.
At this point, Dad forgot what he was even doing in the first place!
And he fell down a dark rabbit hole.
Dad discovered Brian Jung,
who covers the whole saga of the stimulus check beef.
Then, from there, Dad discovered Jim Letis,
who explained Brian's whole role in all of this.
Even Brian Jung is a credit card expert,
who is now covering the drama and is growing in popularity,
therefore probably benefiting in his credit card business.
Then Dad saw something horrifying!
After Jim covered all of this,
he made a new video,
and is suddenly in a cast and bandages!
He looks like he was dragged into an alley in an attempt to be silenced!
In this video,
he even says he's afraid that Clear Value Tax may come after him
for his impression of Clear Value Tax.
So who has already come after him?!
Who broke his arm?!
One suspect is millennial millionaire Graham Stefan,
who Clear Value Tax already has beef with!
Graham is a 26 year old real estate millionaire
who mocked Clear Value Tax.
Why do all of these accountants have beef with each other?!
This is insane!
Who is attacking Jim Letis?!
Was it the credit card master Brian Jung,
mad at Jim for stepping on his turf
of covering the drama between these two infamous stimulus dinguses?!
I don't think it was Meet Kevin,
because he is subscribed to Jim
and commented that he enjoyed his video.
So who was it?!
Is the Dark Party involved?
Are the horror investigative channels on YouTube,
like Nexpo and Inside a Mind,
jealous of the growing popularity of the stimulus check update channels?
Who knew that was even a thing in the first place?!
Are these stimulus check channels in a cult of their own?!
[gasp]
If I was in the Dark Party,
I sure would be scared.
I mean, who's more powerful than a money cult?
Dad can't believe what he's seen and what he's even talking about.
He just wanted tax advice.
Dad needs your help, everyone.
Please go to Clear Value Tax and Meet Kevin's YouTube channels and comment,
Please make them stop.
Tell them Dad is upset.
Tell Bryan Jung to stop assaulting Jim Letis.
And tell Graham Stephan to give Dad some of his millions
so Dad can pay Daughter's astronomical cell phone bill.
Dad is the dad of YouTube,
and he will not have fighting on his website,
especially between two grown men!
Tell them all,
Then, when they're done,
maybe Dad can get the tax help that he needs.
And pray for Jim Letis.
Hopefully his attacker's exposed.
[Dad exhales]
Wow.
What a crazy episode of RealiTea.
And reminder: this is real.
This is not a bit and this is not a joke.
This is the most real RealiTea episode...
Dad will probably ever put out.
Well...
until next time...
tip your cup to know what's up.
Then you'll see...
RealiTea.
Goodbye.
Now it's time for a sneak preview of Dad's newest song,
off his upcoming album titled, "More Music".
This song is called Loops, with music from Shadrew.
[Cheryl:] Honey, wake up.
It's our special day.
It's been so long since we've had some quiet.
It's nice out here.
Listening to the sky.
I wish we were up there now.
With her.
Maybe tonight.
[Dad singing:] ♪Falling to♪
♪The world comes everything♪
♪Come into♪
♪This rest uncertainty ♪
♪In this world♪
♪We all are entropy♪
♪Even you♪
♪Will soon♪
♪Recede♪
Thank you for listening.
Goodbye.