Hello everyone my name is Apurupa,
I'm a sexuality educator. I know a lot of you have a ton of questions about sex so today I'm
going to answer the top five questions that you might not be comfortable asking others.
Sex, whether it's the first time or the 50th time is not supposed to hurt at
all. Engage in lots and lots of foreplay to ensure that the vagina is adequately wet
and moist and don't be afraid to add lube to the equation and lots and lots of it right.
Remember to use a water-based lubricant because any other form of lubricant may
actually erode the condom. Don't use vaseline or some form of oil either.
Now if it feels like there is a wall in the vagina and penetration is
absolutely not possible you may have something called vaginismus vaginismus is basically
involuntary muscle spasms around the vagina which prevent penetration from happening.
If you think you have something like that then please feel free to
speak with a gynaecologist about it because it is treatable.
There's no such thing as the right age to have sex. Of course there is a legal age
under which having sex is criminal so if either or both parties are under the age of 18 years
then having sex with each other is actually a criminal offense.
So 18 is the legal age to have sex, now beyond that it's completely a personal choice
when you choose to have sex and whom you choose to have sex with is completely up to you, and
as long as safety and consent and protection are being prioritised then it's really your choice.
Each individual person gets to decide what good sex is for them
there is no such thing as it's supposed to last a particular amount of time or the genitals are
supposed to look and feel a certain way or they're supposed to be a particular size.
In fact a question that I get asked a lot is what size should the penis be well I'm here to tell you
that the pleasure centres are actually located in the initial part of the vagina. So even a
penis which is two to three inches when erect is actually enough for an enjoyable sexual activity.
Besides penetration is not the only way in which parties can enjoy themselves when engaging with
each other. There are plenty of acts that a couple can engage in to make it a mutually
pleasurable experience, so talk to your partner and figure what is good sex for the both of you.
There's absolutely no way for anybody to tell whether or not you've had sex.
Even a gynaecologist will not be able to tell unless you tell them yourself. Of course
some cultures say that you know if your hymen is torn. If your hymen is broken then you've had sex.
Well that's not true at all because the hymen can actually break or tear through other forms
of physical activity like rigorous sports, horse riding, cycling you know masturbation with a toy
or some folks are even born without a hymen and that's absolutely normal.
Which brings me to the next important question which is are you supposed to bleed the first
time you have sex. Well some folks may bleed but that has nothing to do with the fact that,
you know, they're a virgin or not a virgin. Besides virginity is a social construct anyway,
and like I said the hymen can actually be toned through other forms of physical activity and if
you're using a lot of lube and enough foreplay you may not end up bleeding and that's fine.
One very important relationship that you have in your life
is your relationship with yourself and with your body. So engaging with your body to
make it feel pleasure to make it feel good does not count as cheating in any manner or forms.
And in fact getting to know your body, understanding your erogenous zones and pleasure
points can actually improve the sexual act and, you know, intimacy between you and your partner so
it does not count as cheating. And if your partner is feeling that way then have a conversation with
them and explain. Invite them into the act even maybe both of you could touch each other
while you are present with each other or touch yourselves while you're present with each other.
Hope that answered most of your questions about sex if you have any follow-up questions for us
feel free to drop them in the comments below. And until next time stay tuned and stay and Glamrs.