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well the great Greek philosopher
Aristotle spoke of the Transcendent
third here's what he meant he meant that
a friendship will endure only in the
measure that the two friends fall in
love not so much with each other but
together with a Transcendent third with
some good
that lies beyond the two of them so
think of two friends who together love
their country who together love the
truth who together love beauty and maybe
it's films or books or whatever it is
but they move out of Simply a shared
egotism because aerosol said that's what
a friendship will devolve into unless
some transcendent good pulls the friends
outside of themselves and the irony is
the Paradox is it's that Transcendent
Third Kind of friendship that will
actually last if the two friends or two
lovers let's say simply fall in love
with each other in time that
relationship will
devolve I think that's one of the um
keenest insights in the history of
philosophy when it comes to friendship
and to
relationship can I suggest that the U
Catholic liturgy senses much the same
thing when it has us pray glory to God
in the
highest and peace to his people on Earth
that's a formula if you want for Joy for
peace for Success when God is given
glory in the
highest then peace obtains Among Us when
together we fall in love with a
Transcendent good namely the good of God
then we tend to um have peaceful
relationships the trouble again is if
we're simply trying to establish
relationships among ourselves they will
tend to devolve into bickering and
ultimately into uh division
Warfare glory to God in the highest then
peace will break Out Among Us Now I want
to bring this down Earth a bit now from
Aristotle and and the Liturgy to
something very pragmatic years ago when
I was doing full-time Parish work I'd
work with engaged couples so young
people would come to the parish and
they're preparing for marriage in the
Catholic church so I get to know them we
chat and so on and then we move into
more serious uh
conversation I would ask them eventually
some version of why do you two want to
get married in church so you can get
married in front of the justice of peace
you can get married in a civil context
but why do you want specifically to be
married in the Catholic Church
well they would kind of hem and haw and
give different answers but usually they
come up with some version of well
because we love each
other I would smile typically and I
would say well that's great I'm
delighted you love each other but that's
not a good reason to get married in the
Catholic church I mean if you love each
other you could you could announce that
before the judge you could celebrate
that out in the forest I mean that's a
good thing but it's not a good enough
reason to be married in the Catholic
church and they sort of Look At Me
puzzled and I would invoke this very
principle say to get married in the
Catholic
church that is to say before God what
you're saying is we've discerned that
together we are in love with God and
we've discerned that God for his
purposes has drawn us together it's not
just the two of us met the two of us
like each other the two of us fell in
love it's something stranger more
mysterious than that
it's that God has for his purposes drawn
us together so that we might find our
Salvation in each other's presence and
that together we might fulfill a common
Mission when you have discern that I
would say then you're ready to stand at
the altar before God and his people and
say you know Lord we we want to we're
being married in your presence um that's
falling in love with a Transcendent
third now in the fullest sense now this
is why Fulton J Sheen many years ago
wrote a book called three to get married
and it's the same idea and he knew
Aristotle too uh it's not just the two
uh people that's not enough not just
husband and wife who love each other
there has to be a third involved namely
God together we fall in love with God
together we've surrendered to God 's
purposes now we're ready for a a
Christian marriage now just you know
broaden that out all the ways now that
we seek you know relationship we seek
friendship always keep this Aristotelian
principle in mind and I think you'll
walk a much happier path if we're simply
looking for love period that won't be
enough you'll be looking for love in all
the wrong places what you should be
looking for is God's will God's purpose
and then find somebody who is as in love
with that purpose as you are now you
found someone to love
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