- How do you feel about coming secondary to the baby?
- Should there be some kind of a physiological change
that happens from hormones and oxytocin flooding
and everything else that you just,
center of your world does in fact become this baby?
Yeah, I'll definitely feel sad
and a little bit left out
and not quite as much the center of your world.
And we have been through so much,
and I know that we will get back to this.
Maybe it's three months, maybe it's six months,
maybe it's a year,
but we know how to climb back up this hill
and get back here.
And I'll do that as many times as I have to.
- [Girl] Mommy, what (indistinct) would you like the most?
- Mommy's favorite animal - Yeah.
- is probably an octopus.
- Mommy, you like the octopus so much.
- I do, I love the octopus because the octopus
can change any color that it wants
and it can change its shape.
And that's as close to magical powers that you get.
- Yeah. - Yeah. It's pretty cool.
- What do I do?
And what does make you happy?
(oinks)
- What do you do that makes me happy?
When you are silly, it makes me happy.
When you make funny faces,
it makes me happy, it makes me smile.
Naya, when you tell me how you feel,
when you tell me how you're feeling, it makes me happy.
In what way is our daughter similar to me?
And how does that make you feel?
- She looks like your daughter.
Like I have a kid who's blonde haired and blue eyed,
and do you see blonde hair, blue eyes?
No, you don't.
She looks like you.
And I love that I have this, you know,
this sun kissed little baby girl, toddler, child,
it's happening very quickly.
I love that she looks like you.
What do you remember the birth of our baby?
- I remember a lot.
I remember the elation when your water broke,
I remember walking to try to move things along
and you having that insight about,
everybody is someone's baby.
Any homeless person you see, anyone you ever see,
they're someone's baby,
and I just remember being so incredibly overwhelmed
with how simple and yet profound that insight was.
I remember trying and trying
for 15 hours
and feeling so helpless.
Nothing I could do, something I could do to move it along.
- What experience are you looking forward to most
in the addition of the new member of our family?
- Getting to watch Naya be a big sister.
You know, like she's already saying like,
"I'm so excited for my baby."
- It's already her baby.
- If only it was that simple.
- What is something that you miss from the pre-baby me?
- It's been a lot harder for you to feel sexy
and feel beautiful.
I feel like pre-baby, it was like,
like you got it.
Like you got how beautiful and sexy and arousing
and magical you are physically.
You know that inside, but since we've had Naya,
I mean, you look better than you ever have.
And I just feel so sad.
You're so fucking hot,
you do not feel that way about yourself.
- Well, it's hard to feel that way about yourself
when it's been like six days without a shower
and you have no sleep, you know?
I agree
I struggle with that.
- Is there anything that I can do,
is there any way that I can help or support you
or tell you things or do things?
Is there anything I can do to--
- Have pregnant sex with me.
(laughing)
- What is a memory that you never wanna forget
from this past year?
- I think it was four weeks ago that we all got the flu,
and you and Naya and I was
because he was inconsolable.
And I remember just, you know,
holding him in the middle of the night,
and it's completely dark and we're just both burning so hot,
and all I wanted to do was just lie on my bed and sleep.
And I had this little baby
who was completely dependent on me
for his wellbeing.
And so time and time again, I got up out of that fucking bed
and I just stood there and rocked him and held him
'cause it was the only way he would sleep.
And he would just keep crying and crying
and I just kept singing to him,
like literally all night long.
I'm here with you. I'm here, I love you.
Mama loves you. Mama is here.
And we just, you know, we got through night after night
and just that sweet moment of just feeling so fully this,
that's like that,
the depths of parental love
and just feeling it, feeling it so clearly
in the middle of the night, night after night,
while I'm burning up and he's burning up,
it felt so sweet.
I just felt so sweet.
And it was so hard,
but just feeling that love for our children.
That's one of the things I wanna remember.
How have I surprised you with my approach to parenting?
- You can be no further away from understanding something
than you are from understanding parenthood
until you become a parent. It's just that simple.
And I feel like I remember all of the things that we said,
well, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that.
And this is clearly going to be the way
that we're going to do this.
- We already have fallen.
- We are not gonna do this that way,
and this will be the way that we do that.
I think it falls on both of our shoulders,
but I certainly look to you for a lot of guidance around
your intuition as a mother,
because I believe it's in your DNA
and I've watched you do it.
I watched you do it with child birthing,
I watched you do with child rearing,
and we have an amazing daughter.
And so I guess one of the biggest surprises
is just how differently we're doing things.
What has surprised you about me being a father?
- How much you want to do it.
Do we wanna do the last question now?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Mommy needs to see the question.
This is a very important question.
Are you ready?
- Okay. - Okay.
Why do you love me?
Why do love your mommy?
- Because I like it so much.
- Yeah, you like me so much?
- Poop. - No,
we're not gonna talk about.
(laughing)
All of the questions.