It used to be easy for me to list my favorite Final Fantasies: “The odd ones and the ones
that are multiples of 3, excluding those with a 3 in them.”
Easy.
And then XIV 2.0 came around and shot that right down.
And it’s kinda simplistic, too: I don’t really dislike any of them, except VIII, and
even then I find the mechanics so upside-down and backward that it’s kinda fun to watch.
But I obtained the PS3 HD remakes of X and X-2 - on one convenient disc, likely because
they share a bajillion assets - primarily because while I don’t actively seek out
opportunities to play these two games, when I do, I tend to have a lot of fun.
And now that fun includes all the International Edition content that we only got to dream
about before.
I’ll leave X-2 for another time, and today focus on the adventures of Tedious and pals
as they play strange soccer analogs and see lots of dead people.
I know it’s not actually pronounced that way, but they gave me the opportunity to rename
this bastard, and even screwed themselves in the second game in the process, so allow
me to abuse that power for a moment.
This blonde dope was just trying to be a sports star while working out his massive daddy issues,
when all of a sudden a massive monstrosity lays waste to the city and teleports our unlikely
hero to a far-off land where his hometown doesn’t exist anymore, said monstrosity
keeps everyone living meager existences at best, and the only true constants are an all-pervasive
church… and the same flavor of pseudo-soccer that he played back home.
Tedious manages to leverage this knowledge of sport and get into the good graces of Bender,
Bender’s goth-tsundere Belt Elemental cohort, a Summoner looking to save the world, and
her right-hand furry.
(I shouldn’t talk smack on Khimari, though; dude’s a Dragoon Blue Mage, which is double
awesome.
Y’know who’s the only other Dragoon Blue Mage?
GILGAMESH.)
The mechanics remain the same in this outing, save for the bonus content added in the International
Version, such as an Advanced Sphere Grid that mixes your character progression up a bit,
and access to new “Distillation” abilities that let you force particular sphere drops
from most enemies.
I can’t count how many times I’ve been hamstrung by a dry spell of power spheres,
causing me to leave a particular character languishing for dozens of fights when they
should be enjoying the same modular, bit-by-bit upgrades the rest of the party are getting.
One of the things I always liked about FFX was how there were so many choices in skill
development, simply by altering how you navigated the sphere grid.
This Advanced version starts everyone much closer together, allowing you to double-up
on particular skill sets more readily.
Because, let’s face it, you want Haste on as many of your combatants as possible.
Tell the truth.
Ultimately, though, 10 boasts one of my favorite battle systems in the series, mostly for the
flexibility of bouncing characters into and out of the party on the fly.
It adds a major tactical element, as does the fact that - perhaps for the first time
in the series - debuffs like poison and blind are actually worth using.
No more piddly chip damage or theoretical accuracy penalties; these debuffs mean business,
costing you (or your foes) around a quarter of your health each turn or removing any realistic
chance of landing an attack.
And no discussion of FFX would be complete without perhaps the strangest minigame system
this side of Parley, Blitzball!
Which actually has more in common with lesser-known Japanese sports games like Captain Tsubasa
or Inazuma Eleven than anything that’s ever happened in Final Fantasy.
Part of it is in real time, but any interactions with opposing players stop the action down
and give you the choice of which play to make.
By talking to NPCs throughout the world, you can find free agents to beef up an otherwise
anemic Besaid Aurochs team.
Say what you will about the mechanics of underwater soccer, but it’s actually rather fun.
Y’know what’s a bit less fun?
Dodging 200 lightning bolts.
Or trying to complete the chocobo race in negative time.
Or chasing those damnable butterflies.
And you thought 30,000 Alexandrite was a steep price; how about your sanity?
Yeah, that’s a down note, but it’s the down note this game deserves.
Sure, it says “HD Remaster” right there in the title, but if you were looking for
a polished, beautiful interpretation of FFX, well, you’re out of luck.
Though there’s a new coat of paint, so many corners were cut in this port that it makes
that Steam version of XIII look downright well-thought-out.
You’re still looking at weird angles and physics with Rikku’s shoulder-blade-ribbon
things, you’re still gonna see odd clipping that we thought went out of style on the PS2…
and while the soundtrack’s still a masterwork, there’s occasional choppiness in the dialogue.
Something got mistimed somewhere, and that’s a shame.
If you’re the owner of a fat, 1st-gen, backward-compatible PS3, or you’ve still got room to have your
PS2 hooked up, there’s really no reason to bother with this version outside of the
International Edition content.
And there’s no way I’m leaving this review without the ultra-awkward laugh.
Man.
I can’t wait for the PS4 version of this exact same thing, huh?