(spooky music)
(thunder crackling)
- Welcome Team Milk.
(upbeat music)
Now this is your screen test.
Act as if your life depended on it
because well, it does.
(dramatic music)
All right places, people, people, places!
(upbeat music)
Okay, here we go, we're rolling, and action.
- Oh, Mrs. Hitchcock, did you see the full moon tonight?
President Kennedy said one day he'll put a man up there.
- Well I'm more interested in
exploring your feminine mystique.
(Michelle chuckling)
- Derrick and Courtney is flying through their lines
like they've been doing movies for years.
Bitches.
- There will be blood,
- [Both] No!
- And cut.
Very good, you bitches have been slayed before.
(Derrick laughs)
(spooky music)
- Hello, Sally, are you here?
- Ring, ring.
- Gasp!
(RuPaul chuckling)
- Joslyn is totally selling it,
much funnier than I expected.
- Gasp! - Gasp!
- Jeez, Betty, it's just me.
Don't flip your wig.
- That's not funny, ever since they invented birth control-
- Cut.
- Trinity, you have to play to the camera.
'Cause we can't see you when you turn around.
- We're gonna pop your cherry tonight.
The boys are coming over-
- Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
Trinity, I don't know why your back is turned.
- You know, that was my character,
kind of like, sassy-ghetto.
- Well just be sassy-ghetto facing your camera.
See, over here, you keep doing this thing where you go,
so and so and so and so and so.
And then so we keep seeing this, we don't wanna see that.
- I've never seen RuPaul literally get out of his seat
and have to show somebody where a camera is.
And it really threw me off.
Sorry, you guys.
- [RuPaul] All right, moving on.
- Sashay away!
And whatever you do, don't look in the pink box.
(ominous music)
- Your mother darn sucks in hell.
(RuPaul giggling)
- [RuPaul] Cut.
- Trinity, when you pick that box up,
there needs to be a reaction.
There's a head, on a table, with a satanic star on it!
- Gotchu.
- I may actually pass out in this box,
if Trinity continues to (beep) up.
I may end up punching her in her box,
if she doesn't stop (beep) up.
(upbeat music)
- [RuPaul] Welcome Team Adore.
- I'm not worried about this challenge
because I got (beep) drag strategically, whatever.
I have it strategically strategized.
This is gonna go good, I'm a good leader, I'm a Libra!
- [RuPaul] April and Laganja, y'all ready?
- Wait, April's the lesbian?
- I guess so.
All right, ready, set, action.
- Yeah.
- This place is going condo.
If you don't buy it, some yuppie will.
- [Laganja] You have a head full of business,
let's get physical.
- Stop, or what the hell!
- Okay, let's cut.
- Am I too boyish?
- It's your choice.
- Okay, cool.
Playing a butch character for a drag queen
is a mind (beep) really (laughs).
I'm a gay boy being a woman but I need to be boyish as well.
- All right, we're moving on.
(speaks in foreign language)
Action.
(suspenseful music)
- Heather, hello?
- Ring, ring.
- What is that?
Oh, my new cell phone.
- Cut.
- Gia, don't forget the great lines like,
"oh duh, my new cellphone!"
Like, those "duhs" really give it the 80s flair.
- Okay. - Duh!
Action.
- Like, hello?
Who is this, where did you get this number?
(soft music)
- Adore, that's your cue.
- Oh (beep), yes!
You're gonna die!
(Gia screaming)
- And then you have dialogue after that.
- Don't have a cow, Heather!
- Her name's Becky, your name's Heather.
(loud beeping)
- No, do you all have your lines memorized?
- Yeah.
- Liza Minnelli, lies.
- Okay.
- I could not go on the stage without knowing my lines.
That's just uncalled for.
Adore is the team captain
and I feel so worried for our team,
'cause she's not professional.
- Whatever you do, don't touch this big, big furry box!
No don't touch my-
- Your mother smokes boxes!
- Sorry, I stepped on your lines.
- Cut, cut, cut.
Did you guys rehearse as a team, before you came on?
I'll take that as a whopping no.
(upbeat music)
- So basically, I'm (beep), because I'm the team leader
and everything comes on my back!