They said the machines would take over in the future.
I’m here to tell you…they’re already started.
They used us, they…used our own obsession with technology against us.
From the very first telephone call, they’ve been planning, and studying us.
By the time we got to the consumer electronics boom of the 1980s, it was time for them to
make their move.
This is a report—and a warning, to those within the sound of my voice.
If you’re listening to this, you are the Resistance.
And Terminator 2: Judgment Day, for the Game Boy, is the enemy.
It all starts here.
You know this logo as a symbol for creative bankruptcy, but it represents something much
worse.
LJN was an experiment run by the machines, to see the lengths to which human beings would
allow machines to push them.
The letters stand for Electronic Bullsh*t Tolerance Initiative.
Their alphabet is…different, or something.
Look, I don’t know how it works.
All I know is it worked.
Back To The Future.
Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
Back To The Future II and III, which was packaged into a single study because the machines were
getting greedy.
They realized we’d play almost anything, and they saw their opportunity.
They released Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
A look into the very future, we were compliant in creating.
By playing this f*cking thing.
It starts with the first level, level one.
You get a picture of a horribly mangled Sarah Connor, another test to see how much they
could mangle a human being without creating panic.
On the left, the words march upward before being incinerated.
Now, they were showing us their plans, and we didn’t care, “Oh, it’s just a video
game.”
Nothing is ever…just a video game.
Actually, this is barely a video game, at all.
In the first level, you have to shoot the towers in order, from tallest to shortest.
This another bullsh*t tolerance test, because there are only two different heights for five
or six different towers.
You run around, guessing which tower you’re supposed to destroy, as you watch a never-ending
parade of machines destroy you.
Both in the game, as well as mentally.
Like, out of the game.
At this point, with our health cheaply lowered, and our sanity cheaply lowered…the machines
turn up the intensity of their experiment.
Now, we’re in a building that looks like machine, as if to say…soon, you will be,
you’ll be…machines.
There are ladders scattered throughout the stage, like wheels for a lab rat.
And they have a similar effect of getting you nowhere, because the ladders don’t even
work.
If you’re wondering how a ladder can not work…there’s hope for you.
You can turn off the experiment and walk away.
You can warn others, as I am today.
You are the Resistance.
If you’re not, you have to walk through a door.
By just…waiting for some guy, to walk through a door.
Complacency.
It’s what they want from us.
But the machines realized it wasn’t enough.
They needed to know more than just how much electronic bullsh*t we would deal with.
They wanted to know, if we decided to fight back, if we could fight back.
Their next experiment tests that, you have to reprogram a series of circuits, almost
like the hacking minigames in BioShock decades later.
Only this time, it’s the machines hacking, into you.
Into your weaknesses.
It’s not long before you inevitably fail at these…these, almost impossible tests.
Your only shortcoming being your existence as a fragile, coercible, weak…human.
To a machine, a design this disastrous is just a matter of computations.
To a human, it’s virtually indecipherable.
And to a machine…that’s the advantage.
There are tests after that.
Reports indicate two or three, even.
But I’ve never seen them, few have.
And if you made it that far, it’s probably too late.
You played into the machines’ game.
Don’t.
Don’t give up.
Don’t succumb.
Don’t allow the machines, and their lousy graphics, and crappy gameplay, and cheap design…to
win this fight.
They can be defeated.
Look, we’ve been fighting a long time and we’ve all lost, so very much—so many loved
ones gone.
But you are not alone.
There are pockets of resistance all around the planet, like Jason from Green Bay, Wisconsin,
who risked his life to send this to us.
And others still, who defy the machines.
We’re on the brink.
You have no idea how important you are.
This is Derek.
If you’re listening to this…you are the Resistance.