Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Fuck, I'm gonna get my ass kicked- Yea how hard could it be?
Look at these idiots, look at 'em.
They're like-
fucking dancing in place. Oop oop
Oop oop opa gangnam style
*Whispers* Imma sneak up behind this guy, and I'm gonna fucking glack him right in the back.
GLACK GLACK GLACK! Don't throw balls in the house,
you fucking dickface!! That's how Marcia fucked
up her nose, did you see that shit?!
Fuck you(x3)
FUCK YOU! SHOOT THE MOTHER FUCKER!
GOD DAMN! These Nazis are fucking durable!
Oh my God, oh my God... Ohh
OH FFFUCK! I WAS AMAZING AT DODGEBALL!
I have a- I have a fucking pistol, I have a pistol!
There's a lot of guys on Hard...
There's like, twelve around every fucking corner!
Just any fucking day you wanna drop dead,
you fucking piece of shit.
Goddamnit!
I guess on the hardest difficulty,
the enemies just re-spawn forever, so every time
you kill them, they'll only die for, like, a few seconds.
And they come back from the grave to
FUCKING EAT YOUR FACE.
Grab the health, grab the health, grab the health–!
OH GOD
OH GOD, door of death!
Holy fuckin' shit!
Why do they always start like that?
They look like they're, like a dance troupe.
The Doo-Wop group,
from the '70s.
Where are the plans, you fuck?
WHERE ARE THE PLANS?
Ugh,
ugh,
ugh!
It's like I'm fuckin' playing Minecraft, "Ugh!"
Now we're cookin'.
[raises in volume] Now we're cookin'!
Bam!
FUCK!
Bam!
Holy crap!
Jesus fucking Christ!
Look at my health just drop
like a bitch!
[sighs hoarsely]
Die, you fuck!
[raises in volume] Die, you fuck!
Are you kidding me! Jesus, FINALLY!
Ugh, I just fucking killed these pricks!
Fuck off,
you fucking mingy spaff!
Fucking 5% health.
I'm like four feet into the second fuckin' level!
If I go down the fucking stairs,
there's 900 guys in there.
I go over here, there's fucking
Death Alley.
At this point, you pretty much just fucking
haul ass, and try and run past
the 800 guys with shotguns
that are shooting at you.
And you still, apparently, get
fucking ANNIHILATED.
Jesus Christ! The guys are
fucking re-spawning before I go in the fucking room!
Fuck!
[yelling] The guy took 30%
and then they spawn a shotgun-guy behind me?!
Goddamnit,
you fucking monkey-whore!
I can't even sprint through this part.
There's too many fuckin' dudes
to sprint through!
It's a cornucopia of dudes!
Give me the fuckin' shotgun,
and just run.
Just RUN, you motherfucker.
Put a "Run Face" on your face in the middle there.
I don't see how you can go for the
fucking double-barrel shotgun
without being brutally fuckin' murdered.
[shouts] I don't see how you can do anything
without being brutally fucking murdered.
Fuck you bitches,
[yells] fuck you bitches,
[still yelling] fuck you bitches!
That is not working well.
That is NOT gonna fuckin' work.
Fuckin' finally, I have more than six health.
Spawn some shotgun-guys,
drop some fucking demons on me,
that's fine.
Oh, more fucking shotgun-guys!
Holy hell!
Are you serious?!
A fucking Minotaur-thing?
What the fuck?!
Oh, I'm fucked. I'm trapped in a
fucking corner, so
unless everyone decides to kill each other, yeah,
no, I'm fucking fucked.
Fuckin' Dookie!
I'm on the second level.
I'm on the second level of the game.
You can just hear fuckin'
death, murder, and mayhem,
when you hear [imitates ___ noises]
[imitates ___ noises],
and you know there's 19 fuckin' guys spawning.
Hey, at least I got a shit-ton of ammo
for when I burn in hell.
They can shoot
and it keeps fucking getting me killed!
Why is their hair green?
Is this the punk phase,
are they going through the punk phase in hell?
When all the demons turn their hair and they dyed them green?
That was the cool thing to do.
Satan was doing it, so,
I mean, fuck it, why not?
This is like Normandy, except if one guy on a boat showed up,
Like "Hey, I'm here! Oh fuck, you guys were waiting for me?"
There's no fucking way I'm gonna make it, there's no fucking way I'm making-
I have one fucking percent health. ONE fucking percent-
You motherfucker!
Kill, murder, murder!
Open the door. Open the door, I got that key, you fuck!
Holy shit, wow. So that's like, probably two percent of the level?
I've now compl- Oh my God, just-
Put a fucking fork in me, cause I'm fucked.