*funky space music*
How're yous? Ash Jones, genius technomancer.
If yous want time know what the Ash is short for, the answer is mind your bleedin' business
I am a sophomore artificer students at Czocha College of Witchcraft and Wizardry
I'm in House Durentius. "Valor! Dilligence!"
and I'm from Dublin in Ireland, before attending Czocha I was an apprentice artificer to me granny, Frances Jones.
She took me in after me Ma' and Da' died. I can never really repay her for everything she done for me,
but also she's a brilliant technomancer.
Me own particular area of research is in the technomantic enhancement of human beings,
one of our major folk heroes is a necromancer,
so that left me with a certain attitude to rules
that's gotten me threatened with expulsion a couple of times.
I grew up in a mundane city
So I'm a big fan of mundane tech and mundane culture.
There's no such thing to failure There's only the scenic road to success.
There is no shame in being on your...fifth set of eyebrows
For a couple of weeks before the term started
I was talking on Czochabook with the assistant technomancy professor and she is a... She's a robot. She was a robot
Her name is Genesis, and she is actual sendin' messages and (??) made a machinery a robot
She told me she had been designed by the technology professor.
That made me very excited because that meant that professor must be some kind of genius,
creating an actual humanoid robot that can have full on conversations, actual conversations by itself. Not some cleverbot chat bot nonsense
What's in the juice?
"Ir's green. It's fresh"
Yes, but that doesn't tell me what's in it.
"There's alcohol and green"
"There's green in it."
"green alcohol"
Green is not a flavor.
Willow: Genesis. You can call her Gen. She likes Gen. Not lampshade, She's sentient.
Very rude
Sentient. Conscious. Self-aware.
Over the course of term so far, I have found a mentor, interrogated prisoners, cast a spell on a teacher,
found out my mentor was half fae, tricked a full fae and got the better out of the deal,
joined the time police, got me dimensional locator runnin',
helped rescue me mentor from a Hell dimension
Participated in her arrest, discovered me missile missing uncle was dead and me mentor's father,
which therefore meant me mentor was me cousin
And honestly, I can't tell you everything because there's a million different things,
So let's just go for the highlights.
First day I decided to have a wee chat with the technomancy professor
because she was a genius that had built Genesis.
And I was thinking she might be able to help me with me dimensional locator
Which so far has only ever exploded or filled the lab with scorpions or some other nonsense.
It turned out her name is Professor Jones
Professor...
Jones!
We got along immediately. Now I need to explain something, we grew up without parents
So I meet a slightly older professor,
Teaching in my field, who I get along with extremely well, who the same surname as me,
You'll forgive me if I got attached a very bloody fast.
But that night, one of me roommate tells me that Professor Jones is half fae
Well, I'm Irish...
we have centuries of cultural bias against the fae, so I didn't know what to do with that
Luckily, the next day Professor Jones was kind enough to talk to me about it. I left our conversation a slightly better person.
At least I'm better with it now than I was then, so I was still able to enjoy the technomancy class.
Willow: Are we about to have show and tell? Please.
Willow: You want-? Ash: That's the power source!
Willow: Yeah?!
Willow: yeah?
Ash: Atomic as well.
Willow: no shit..?
Ash: did we invent the same fucking thing?! Willow: *laughter*
??: Hers is nicer Willow: Hey lil' guy!
Ash: yeah, her's is nicer, obviously!
*laughter*
Ash: I'm a sophomore!
Willow: So (??)
*laughter*
Willow: I... love him. I love him and if anything happens to him I'm stuffing this whole castle in a pocket dimmension
*laughter*
The alchemy professor, Professor Brooke,
He offers a chance for us to study a guardian sanctioned chronomancy class
Now chronomancy is illegal.
And look, if I'm given that chance to legally do something illegal, I'm gonna jump straight into it,
no fuckin' looking back at all. It wasn't exactly what I expected though,
As a lot of these small spells, while small, are arguably less efficient, they're the building blocks
of the fundamentals of some of the most dangerous magic that exists on this world.
He was demonstrating on prisoners of the Guardian Order
He was torturing them and he was making them kill each other and then resetting them back to the point before they died.
It was not easy to look at. I volunteered to do one of the spells anyway, cause valor, diligence,
but putting my prisoner in stasis felt weird and wrong
Professor said he was lookin' for people to take further classes with a view to join in his branch of the Guardian Order
and deal with people who're chronomancers
Felt like I had to join.
Only so I could do somethin' to make the people who were abusin' it,
Chronomancy is too scary to let it go out there and not do anythin' about it
Professor Jones approved of me decision and it meant a lot to me.
Those warm fuzzy feelings ended up backfiring a wee bit though,
Professor Brooke rounded up all the students who'd volunteered for the chronomancy classes
And uh...and he needed our help. Uh...
Turns out Professor Jones had gotten lost, and went missin' and was trapped in a Hell dimension.
Chronomancy was involved somehow...
So we were gonna have to help Professor Brooke find her, bring her back and arrest her...
Wasn't a fun time.
We told Brooke the dimensional locator might be able to help him find Professor Jones
We didn't mention all the problems we've been havin' with it.
We just said that Professor Jones's infernal battery might be able to get it workin' properly.
The weird thing was neither the battery Professor Jones made, nor me dimensional locator needed much tinkerin' to get the two to work together.
They were already very kinda similar tech.
Locator ended up working. We found Professor Jones an' Professor Brooke led us in opening a portal to pull 'er out.
She was covered in blood
Bite marks and what Professor Brooke called time burns on her skin.
All the shine had gone outta her.
She was in a bad way.
Wasn't easy to watch.
We got 'her to the technomancy lab where she downed an ungodly amount of healing potion,
and then professor Brooke made the arrest.
Professor Jones: Thanks...
thanks
Yeah, I'm not great at... emotion stuff...
But that really sucked!
You guys helped a lot, so...
Great, you guys are cool...
Okay, end of thing, end of speech, buh bye
Professor Brooke: ...Jones, give us a smile?
*giggles*
It is technically a smile, technically...
*laughter*
Professor Jones, unenthusiastically: yay...
Professor Brooke: Yep!
*laughter*
???: As long as there's no black stuff coming from her lungs I'd say she's fine
???: More?
Listen...when I was eight years old...
I watched me mam die...right here in this workshop...
My dad had been killed two years earlier in the Gaza Market.
I'd known Professor Jones all of two days,
but from the moment I met her, I was hoping the name wasn't a coincidence
We may both call that wishful thinking,
She was right...
I was wishin'
I was wishing that I finally found another member of my family I could talk to and relate to...
Felt like Professor Jones had been that.
But a couple of hours later, we see Professor Jones cleaned up, lookin' her old self again with our wrists tied together,
being led through the halls by Professor Brooke and the pair of them are playing music and laughing and dancing around
and then I realize
Professor Brooke is gonna do everything he can to make sure Willow was okay.
and if Willow can be dancin' around the castle like that...
Only a few hours after coming out of a Hell dimension
She's too tough for any of them to stop her.
Later we had to talk surnames...
the common interests... the similarities in our tech...
My missin' uncle who have been stolen by the fae. Her dead father fallin' in love with one
The fact that they had the same name
Berra Jones
Turns out I got me wish.
I made the dimensional locator to find me uncle for Granny Jones
Turns out he died and left us a cousin
Granny Jones will be heartbroken to hear about Berra
But I think she's gonna love Willow.
if we can get her over fae racism...
Faecism...
"Uh, Professor Jones has been cleared of all charges"
*yelling and cheering*
Willow: No!
???: What is it, a cuddle pile?
Willow: No! Noo!
???: It totally looks like one Willow: Noooo! ???: I mean, you are cuddling your weapon
*laughter*
Willow: Hello little friend!
Professor Brooke: It's gone green, it senses my presence...
Ash: *laughter*