It's just like, I just, I just want to touch it all the time. Probably not great for my computer.
Today I'm gonna rate other people's inventions
I've been building shitty robots for like three years now, which means I've become quite the connoisseur of shit-ty
shitty robots
Thank Squarespace for sponsoring this video. People have sent me these inventions using the hashtag
#PleaseRateMyInventionSimone so I'm not stealing random people's content
It's all very consensual internetting. Think of it like Shark Tank
But Shit Tank. The Sharks have no money and very sensitive digestive systems.
Okay, let's watch the first video. A creeping hand.
I don't know how it would do it, but I feel like this thing would kill me.
It's like a soothing machine that puts people to sleep, but with sleep it's like forever.
I'd give it a $20 investment with a check that bounces.
An M&M color sorting robot.
Ethan: They call it an anti entropy machine.
Oh wow!
This is legit! Ethan knows his shit. Can it sort my socks for me? Can it fix my life for me?
I give this 240 likes and a creepy comment about how you'd be such a great mother.
A beverage serving machine.
I don't know what's going on here, but there's some sort of glass and a yellowish liquid.
So I'm just gonna stop watching right now. This is how I stay sane on the Internet.
I give this invention a disapproving look from your cat.
A coffee stirring robot.
No Elliot, this is too good to be a shitty robot. You're disqualified for being too good.
Which is also what they'd tell me if I try to apply for a beauty contest.
[sad horn music]
A DIY Roomba.
Okay, this is on the verge of being disqualified too. It just works so well, but the chinchilla is cute.
I give this three hundred views from Russian BOTS and a cease and desist from Roomba.
A knife game.
I mean, I always love games when winning is not getting stabbed. It's like that pie in the face game, but instead of whipped cream
It's with blood. I give this the square root of 49
minus the amount of pets I've had that have died, so minus 52. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, bite the thing
that's feeding out of your hand.
A middle finger robot.
That's my rating right there.
A fidget spinner spinner.
Ooh, fidget spinners. I don't like them.
James: Today I'm gonna do one inspired by the Queen herself, Simone Giertz.
I like you. I'm cheap.
[mumbling] This isn't don't reason to deny it.
So, in all fairness, it's taken me over
Seven months to review these videos so when he posted it fidget spinners were still hot. I never got one cuz I'm old.
I give this invention a call from America's Funniest Home Videos, but then they never decide to air it.
A machine that sets up dominos.
Domino? More like Domi-yes! Trademark that shit. I can't even disqualify it for working too well.
I give this front page on reddit, but like post number six and most of the comments are an
argument about how planet earth is flat because if planet Earth wasn't flat, then how could you set up dominos on it.
It's a good rating, you should be proud of yourself.
A can crusher.
Girl, you crushed it! My rating comes in the form of a tongue twister:
How many cans can your can crusher crush because your can crusher can crush cans?
Oh!!!
Nobody could twist my tongue!
Minecraft player.
Jim: We took apart a USB-keyboard
and put it inside this Altoids-tin
and we built a framemodel for the buttons!
one is for the top of the finger...
one for the bottom of the finger.
Okay, so it's a device that a dad built for his kid
so that he could play Minecraft even though he'd broken his hand. I don't play minecraft
but this makes me wanna play minecraft. It also makes me want to break my hand and be your child.
I give this the cry emoji and two heart emojis because all the feels.
The heart with the sparkles on it, not just the plain one.
That's all from shit tank for today. If you want me to rate your invention use the hashtag
#HeySimoneReallyHurryUpWithRatingInventionsThisTimeBecauseYouTookAReallyLongTimeLastTime or just #PleaseRateMyInventionsSimone
Also, thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this video. Squarespace is an all-in-one platform where you can build your website
And they also have domains and online stores and really nice looking templates
I usually build things that don't work, and Squarespace is like the opposite of me. If they're Squarespace,
I am round and what's the opposite of space? I'm round and Earthbound.
That makes me really sad.
too real. My website is with Squarespace
And I really like it. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/simone
and you get 10% off of your first purchase of a domain or website. #RoundAndEarthBound
Thanks for watching! Okay. Bye!
Shit tank, murky waters.