Never feel guilty about walking away from family. In this video find out what to do when you feel
like your boundaries feelings and values are not appreciated or respected with your family.
Welcome to The SCG Show! This video is officially sponsored by BetterHelp get
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Family enmeshment is a type of family dynamic which is characterized by a lack of boundaries
between family members and intense emotional reactions to perceived slights. In enmeshed
families, family members are overly involved in each other's lives and it is often difficult to
differentiate between one's own feelings and desires from those of the family as a whole.
There comes a time in every person's life where they see certain family members for who they are...
it could be parents, siblings, aunts and uncles or cousins. Once their eyes are open to the truth and
the reality and real nature of that person... it really can rock your perception of everything
For example I grew up with several toxic members in my family... yet it was excused and constantly
swept under the rug every time I tried to question the toxic people and their behavior. I was told
"Just ignore it...Family must stick together...Oh they're funny like that....Oh be the bigger person
and forgive them....Never say anything...Try to keep your mouth shut!" In 2020 the pandemic and lockdowns
obviously occurred and around the same time my beloved father passed away tragically at 62.
My Dad was the glue to certain family members and friends and since his passing so much has changed
The family is well and truly broken and certain individuals who I loved and I was close to are
now distant strangers. There was a time where I felt guilty for cutting them out of my life... there
was also a time where I regretted my decision to walk away and stay away from these people
However now at the point of me recording this I have made peace with it and as a traditional
family man myself that can be very hard to accept and a bitter pill to swallow... however
here is how you can never feel guilty about walking away from toxic people in your family!
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A toxic person is someone who creates an emotional environment that's harmful to those around them
Typically they lack empathy, are self-centered difficult to be around, are manipulative,
controlling, use guilt trips, blame shifting and intimidation to get what they want
In late 2019 I walked away from a toxic relationship with a narcissist I was in
for a few years that decision changed my life forever... it made me realize how destructive and
dangerous being so intimate with a toxic person can be for your life... unsurprisingly it also awoken
me to be more self-aware and vigilant with the people I choose to have in my life. Fast forward
to a few months later and my dad passed away and then in those lockdowns I started noticing the
same red flags and patterns of toxic behavior in other people... certain friends and family members
Family members who decided to hurt me when I was down, not be supportive, create drama and
more hell, when I was just trying to grieve and it hit me like a ton of bricks = Despite knowing
these people for years, growing up with them doing so much, I realized these people are toxic
Once you truly realize and accept that despite it being so painful you can change your perspective
entirely! I spotted the behaviors. Familiarized myself with the red flags and I chose to walk away
I never caused an argument, never got aggressive despite my pain and fury towards these horrible
people I just walked away and actually I moved on. The point I'm trying to make here is whether
it's your mother, your father, brother, cousin, aunt, uncle whoever... I believe family is just the title
but a toxic person will always be a toxic person no matter what! If you're getting value from this
video please hit the like button for the YouTube algorithm and support my channel
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Respect for your own values and beliefs is vital for personal growth and development.. if
you feel that staying in a certain environment is directly opposed to your values and beliefs
it may be time to walk away. Mike grew up in a very hostile family environment, his father was
abusive disrespectful and a deadbeat. His father would always belittle him, talk down to him, never
encourage or congratulate him, but Mike loved and idolized his dad and believed the Web of Lies he
was told constantly about how hard done by he was, "it was the government's fault" and so on
Despite the harsh upbringing Mike studied hard and got a good job and career, then met
a lovely girl... they started dating and they bought a house together. Mike was going places
but his father hated it... his father tried to sabotage any success his son had to try to
make him feel inferior and keep him in line. But Mike slowly fought back and distanced himself
further away because Mike had values. He wanted a healthy relationship, to kick on his career and
wanted little to no drama as well. One fateful day Mike's toxic father turned up to his son's
house demanding they talk and he'd do what he says. "Do this for me" the father shouted
"No" said Mike. "I'm your father you do what I say! This is my place to relax! Your home is my home!"
"Get out" said Mike calmly. In a huff his toxic father stormed out of Mike and his partner's
home and has not been welcomed back since. They have fallen out they hardly have a relationship,
they hardly talk to one another... but Mike respected himself and his home and his relationship and was
not going to allow some foolish man who happens to be his father dictate or ruin his life any longer.
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No appreciation = If you feel like your efforts and contributions to your family are not appreciated
or valued then it may be time to walk away! You can never please the unpleasable, never
satisfy an entitled person and you will never be good enough for the wrong person. Here are
certain ways you won't be appreciated by family.. Refusing to listen to your feelings or opinions,
constantly invalidating your emotions, blaming you for their mistakes not acknowledging your efforts,
guilt tripping you into doing things their way, focusing more on their own needs than yours,
never appreciating your boundaries, not apologizing when they've wronged you and talking down to you.
I remember once going above and beyond for toxic family members when they were
going through a hard time. Whenever they needed some support, some advice, comfort, love, any help
and the moment when tragedy struck my life when my dad passed away in a lockdown as well, these people
were nowhere to be seen! They ghosted me, ignored me, disappeared and were distant. I thought back at
everything I had done and especially everything my late father had done for these people too
and I concluded they were selfish, entitled, rude and disrespectful... they just didn't care, they were
not interested at all and neither was I. Hence why I walked away and stayed away from such people
All these years later I was proved right as they have gone on to not appreciate and abuse
and be rude to other people in and out of the family too...that's what toxic people do
they'll just keep spreading that negativity and abuse to everyone else around them
If you feel like your boundaries and needs are consistently being violated by Family it may be
time to move on and not feel guilty. Here are some typical examples of this = Refusing to respect your
personal space, criticizing your decisions, making assumptions about you, telling you what to do,
expecting you to drop everything for them, refusing to apologize for their mistakes,
gossiping about you to others, pressuring you to do things against your will,
refusing to take your feelings into account. This can be very hard to do especially if you're so
enmeshed with your family such as if you live together work together and so on. Kevin had a very
toxic mother who abused and bullied him from a young age, she never wanted him to do his own thing
have no independence, date someone nothing. "I'm your mother! I know what's best for you" she screamed
But when he did start dating his mother would actually intervene and dictate everything about
the relationship and cause drama, fallouts between him and the partners he had over the years... but
Kevin had enough and he walked away and stayed away. He said "I keep my mother at arm's length and
by doing so I've gotten married and I'm happier than ever before. I don't feel guilty because she
violated my boundaries all the time and I was not gonna let her do so again!" Stand up for yourself
walk away and keep those boundaries, not just with toxic family but toxic people in general.