By the end of this video,
you're gonna know what a narcissist does
when a relationship is all over.
Okay, so you've done it.
You've gone through the love-bombing,
you've gone through the devaluing and
now it's time for the discard and what happens…?
Here's the thing about these narcissists,
they've treated you like crap the whole time and they're wondering,
“Oh my God, you're walking away? Why would you leave?”
That's the thing that's like mind-blowing to me.
As somebody who had to deal with a narcissist in a business situation,
I didn't even have to deal with it a romantic situation and
it was one of the most horrible, heinous, traumatic, awful experiences of my life and
when I look back on it, I think,
“Was that actually only like a year and a half?”
It wasn't even that long that I had to deal with it and
I think “Was it really only that short of a time?”
but yet, why would I have wanted to stay? It was so awful.
Why are you leaving?
Then they start flooding, flooding every possible way
that they could get in touch with you.
Why, why, why, why would you want to leave?
Oh, I don't know.
Why would I not want to be in a relationship with this person who was awful?
I don't know. But yes, that's number one.
What do they do when it ends? They want to know why.
They start to like, blowing up your phone,
blowing up your everything and
they're trying to change your mind half the time, right?
What is also interesting about that whole phase is you think
No, I don't think so, let me think about that...
Hmmm, no, no. I mean at least for me no, I don't think so.
I mean, I know for a lot of you guys who are out there,
who have like history and children and all those things,
obviously there's a lot more that goes into it,
obviously I know that there's trauma bonding and
there's a lot of other things that go on with with the brain and
you know, it's so complicated,
but it's just amazing to me how they can be so horrible and
so heinous, and yet want you to come back,
like lashing, and horrible,
then there's this other phase that they go through as well,
then they sometimes go into this hoovering phase.
It's like, “Oh come on, you know how great we were” and
“Let's forget about the past, let's just move forward from here”
“Come on, let's just start fresh,
let bygones be bygones, let's just move forward”,
that sort of thing.
That's another phase that they may go through.
Another phase that they may go through is just full-on denial,
“I didn't do anything wrong, I was perfect in this relationship”,
“I don't know what your problem is”, “I took care of everything”,
“I did everything right”, “You're holding grudges for no reason”,
“Oh, just because I did that one thing?
I can't believe that you would throw away
a whole relationship over that one small little tiny thing;
other than that, I was absolutely wonderful,
I took care of you, I was absolutely perfect in every way”.
Or they just might refuse to accept what happened,
just refuse and expect you to get back together with them.
Sometimes, as the relationship is starting to end and
they start to figure out you're onto them, things might get interesting,
when the narcissist knows that you know,
things can start to get interesting and
I have a whole video on that,
you can definitely check that out if you want to and
by the way, with the narcissists,
you're either for them or against them and
if they know that you are against them forever,
then you will definitely become public enemy number one and
they will start to lash out with serious hostility and
decide to bring you down.
So, at that point, you're going to have to learn how to stay strong,
but remember, they're always the worse before they're ready to give up and
you will have to stay strong, and you can stay strong.
Because there is a huge myth out there
that you can't negotiate with narcissists and
you can negotiate with narcissists and
I've helped many people do it successfully.
So, stop with that myth out there that you can't.
So here's another thing that they're going to start to do.
They're going to go out there immediately and
try to find a replacement
because they have to have supply,
so they may go try to find a new replacement right away and
so they might start dating again right away and
they have to find new supply.
They want to try to make you jealous or whatever and
if they can, they want to find supply that's better than you,
at least in their mind better than you or,
or you think it's better or whatever,
because they want to make you jealous.
They want to try to level up,
so that they can show you up in some way and if they can,
they want to try to keep both forms of supply,
either by having this new form of supply adulating them and then,
keeping you as a form of supply,
by intimidating you and controlling you
or having you both giving them adulation
or in some way having you both as a form of supply.
That would be the perfect situation for them.
Another thing they like to do is line up they’re flying monkeys,
have their third parties ready to go
to think that they're perfect and you’re crap,
that's all part of it as well,
because they have to have their army of minions ready to go on their side.
That's all part of it as well, and
if they don't have any of that and they're feeling isolated, alone,
that's probably not a good thing.
Anyway, that's all the things that they do,
some of the things that happen when a relationship starts to end.
If you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist or with anyone,
make sure to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
Don't do this alone, don't go it alone.
Make sure that you join my free Facebook group
at “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
Make sure you subscribe here, subscribe, hit that notification bell.
If you like this video, give it a like, give it a share.
Remember today is a great day to slay and start negotiating your best life
because narcissists only win if you stop trying, right?
So never give up and never give in.
I will see you in the next video.