I fairly often receive messages from men all over the world asking me if they're gay. They describe
their behaviours, preferences and desires and they ask about my opinion. And while it might
seem reasonably easy to decide whether a person is straight or gay, that's not what I hear from
many people. So in this video, I'm going to shed some light on what exactly to look out
for in order to decide if you're gay. My name is Helena Nista and I make videos that help you have
the best sex of your life. So if you'd like to improve the quality of your bedroom experiences
feel free to browse my channel and watch more of my videos. You might even want to subscribe
to never miss my new content. The matter of your sexual identity and orientation is not
necessarily as simple as it sounds. There are actually many different elements that come into
it and many of them can be fluid - shifting and changing throughout your life. And at the core
of it all it's really about your own inner journey and inner experience of who you are and who you're
attracted to. That means that while a therapist can help you discover things about yourself, it's
up to you to decide who you really are. So let's start with your own identity - who you actually
are as a human being and as a sexual being. Are you straight, gay, bisexual, queer, transgender,
etc. There are currently many recognised ways to relate to yourself and these definitions
and terms can help many people make sense out of their own lives. There is still so much stigma,
taboo, even hate around people who don't consider themselves straight. Which is why living a life
as a gay person in a mostly straight society can be extremely confusing and hard. This is why so
many people can feel shame, guilt or discomfort about their sexual preferences and desires. They
simply consider them wrong, inappropriate or unacceptable in the eyes of others. But they
cannot change them. If you were straight in the world of homosexuals and you were told to be gay,
could you? No, you couldn't! And so can't millions of non-straight people all over the world. We used
to be told that being gay was an illness or a depravity. Now we know that it's normal and
natural. A percentage of society is simply born that way and that's okay, there's nothing wrong
or inappropriate about it. And I'm not talking about wishful thinking or some utopian idea of
everybody accepting one another. I'm talking about science, research and the world of modern medicine
and psychology recognising this as a fact. Sexual orientation is a connected topic and it relates to
who you're attracted to. And we're talking here not only about the physical attraction but also
mental and emotional. We're very familiar with the idea of men being attracted to women and
women being attracted to men. We see that kind of sexual orientation in movies, shows, books, poems,
etc. But that's not the only way to experience your orientation. Men being attracted to other
men, women to other women, people being attracted to both genders, to transsexuals or experiencing
any other kind of attraction is also normal and fine. Your parents may have told you otherwise,
your teachers or priests may have told you otherwise. But it's time to open your eyes, do
your own research and realise the truth: we're not all the same, we don't all love the same way and
we don't all experience sexual attraction the same way. There's also a matter of gender expression,
so the way that the person expresses or manifests their gender to others. So the way they dress,
the way they behave, speak and conduct themselves. And it may or may not match the gender that they
were assigned at birth. So people born with a penis might identify as a female and might
or might not desire to dress, behave or speak accordingly. And if you're a cisgender person,
meaning that your identity matches the body and the genitals that you were born with,
you're lucky. Because most likely you'll never be teased, abused or bullied about who you are. But
if you're a transgender person, that means that your identity doesn't match the gender that you
were assigned to at birth. You might also be androgynous, meaning that your self-identity
doesn't express itself in a purely feminine or masculine way. So as you can see, your gender
identity or your sexual orientation isn't always as simple to ascertain as it might seem. But
what has it all got to do with asking yourself if you're gay? Let's talk about that. People who
ask themselves this question typically have some desires or experience pleasure from something that
confuses their current view of themselves. So if a seemingly straight guy suddenly feels attracted
to another man or if he's touched sexually by another man and feels pleasure and arousal,
that can be confusing to him. Or if he finds gay porn arousing or if he fantasises about being with
another man, all these different experiences and more can shock and surprise him. But the
truth is complex. It's possible to be straight and to find gay porn arousing. It's possible
to be bisexual and to remain happily married to a person of opposite gender. And it's also perfectly
okay to be gay if that's how you identify and how you experience sexual attraction. So for
anyone confused, it can be really helpful to talk to a therapist about it. This can really help you
look deeper into yourself, your identity, your attraction and your desires. But you're the one
who ultimately decides who you are. And maybe that's gay, and maybe it's not. Either way,
there's nothing wrong with you. You're not sick, depraved or broken. You're simply a human being
experiencing your complex human emotions and your complex sexuality. And I bet that you'll
find yourself much happier once you reject the idea that you have to in any way conform
to other people's expectations or ideas about you. Whoever you are, give yourself a permission to be
that with compassion and self-love. And if you're still not certain, do some more research online,
learn about different options and read about other people experiencing similar doubts.
Their accounts can be really helpful on your own journey. And if this video was helpful and gave
you some valuable ideas, please leave me a 'Like' and a comment below. Make sure to also check out
my free online course Tantra For Beginners and my book "Legendary Lover". You'll find links to both
in the description bar below. You might even decide to buy me a coffee through my Patreon page,
in which case thank you so very much! And thank you for watching and for following my channel.
You're amazing for having such an open mind. Have a fabulous day and I'll see you next time!