GTV!!! GTV!!!
I’ve been in Japan for almost 20 years, and I now present to you the strangest,
weirdest and most profane thing I have ever found in the Land of The Rising Sun. A manga series
about Hulk Hogan! You might say, really? Was Hulk Hogan, and by extension, the WWF THAT popular in
Japan to warrant its own comic series? Well, The WWF and New Japan actually cross promoted
their stars often in the early 1980s, so Hulk Hogan and many other names of the day were
well known in Japan. The manga series is called Yappa! A-Hogan Yo! Meaning in English, simply,
HEY IT’S HOGAN! This whole time, these books have flown under the radar of the English Internet.
Which has basically been a constant one up circle jerk of who can deliver the most obscure things to
make fun of. So I submit this to you! Can anyone top this? Maybe! And if so I’d like to see it!
The series was written by Minoru Shibayama published by Kodansha Media. Yep. The same
group who made all those Nintendo Manga books I’m always talking about. From personal experience,
I’d say that the audience and age range of Nintendo fans and WWF fans overlap,
especially in the 1980s. But these two series couldn’t be further apart. The Mario books get
a bit risqué at times, but nothing too bad for boys just being boys. But the Hogan books are a
whole nother planet. I am literally IN SHOCK that these things ever got printed!! Hogan’s schlong
is out on nearly every page!! and he’s not the only one. There are tons of obscene jokes. and
if overt sexuality isn’t enough theres a few that get pretty gory too, though in a cartoonish way.
The series began in May 1984, not long after The Hulkster started his first WWF title run
after defeating the Iron Sheik. Since this thing happened over 30 years ago,
and Kodansha doesn’t actually exist anymore, theres not much known about the books. I do
know there were at least 6 books made, all of which are pretty hard to find. I found book
#3 which was hella expensive, as far as books go. The books are not one continual story line,
but rather a collection of individual stories told each week. They are pretty short,
some are only 2 pages but a few make it to 6. In book 3 there are 40 stories. And I am
going to pick the best stories from here that are the funniest and easiest to understand.
I mean some of stories feature old pop culture jokes that were funny in Japan 40 years ago,
but we wouldn’t really get. It’s kind of like if you went to a foreign country and told a where’s
the beef joke. Funny to us, no one else gets it. They also feature some Japanese pro wrestling
talent that we might not know, and honestly, I don’t know! So if you can actually figure out who
some of these people are, let me know! But some of them DO feature recognizable WWF Superstars or
just have stories that are simple gags. It’s not a countdown of the funniest ones per se,
but I will put my favorite one last so you can end this video with a big laugh.
Oh and there is one more thing. Another Japanese company DID put out a graphic
novel about Hulk Hogan that accurately chronicles his life from bar band bass
player, to WrestleMania III (to WWF Champion) It’s actually pretty good,
but that’s not what you came here for. You came here to see this! So lets get right to it!
The first story is for all you gamers out there. Its called Famicom A-Hogan! The story starts with
Hogan showing off his WWC championship belt and afterwards he locks it away in his wang shaped
locker. And says, its time to play some Famicom! That means video games, if you aren’t a gamer,
which I’m sure everyone here is but ya never know. Yeah I know! I know what your looking
at and yes its hysterical, His Fu-Ma-Chu is in using one controller and his dong and ball bag
are using the other contoller, but what is he actually doing with hands, writing something?
I have no idea. Well anyway after a long play session he decides to go to sleep,
and no comment on his sleeping position. But in the middle of the night, suddenly the lights flick
on and Mario and Ninja JaJa Maru-kun show up and steal Hogan’s WWC title belt and run away with it
through the TV!! This is ironic to me because in the Super Mario Land Manga which came out later,
Mario meets Hogan in that book too! Anyway, Hogan jumps in right after them and is put right inside
a video game! Its a stretch I know, but they do try to make you feel like its a game with things
like power meters and jumping platforms. Hogan has to endure a 5 on 1 handicap match. To win,
Hogan takes a oscillating fan and vomits into it! The vomit turns everyone into flying turds who
are blocking Hogan’s belt. Hogan says he knows the right technique and stomps on each turd and
then lands on his belt, which sends him back to the real world! Mario and Maru-kun comment on
how Hogan is such a skilled famicom player. But wait? I guess it was all just a dream.
The next story is called The impossible task. Hogan is studying in the library. His head often
displays in Japanese whatever he’s thinking or feeling or doing and so now it says STUDY. He’s
so serious about it that he freaks out to scare anyone off so he can sit alone and study. Then a
cute girl shows up and Hogan is love struck. She says she can’t find a seat and Hogan makes sure
he can offer her a seat, right next to him. The girl is impressed by all the books he’s reading
and he says he’s studying to be a doctor. His forehead says GYNECOLOGIST! Tee hee. She thinks
that admirable and he says to himself that she’s falling for it. Then Animal from the Road Warriors
later known as the legion of doom spots hogan and tries to be friendly. He tells him to best it lest
this girl prefer him over Hogan. When the girl asks if Animal and Hogan are friends he denies
it. Then Animal flips open Hogan’s skull takes out his brain and removes it with a giant soft
serve looking turrrd. Yeah, those things go way back, long before emojis. Hogan and Animal bicker
a bit but eventually this girl’s boyfriend shows up. He’s a total slob and has a flatulence problem
on top of it. He says “ lets go see a porno movie,” and off they go, leaving Hogan all alone.
The next story is called Secret Power. Hogan is training and the other guys are shivering
and have fevers. Its supposed to be winter, to help fill this out. But Hogan is showing
off how strong he is and how he cant get sick no matter how bad the weather is. The he tells
everyone in the gym thats because his wang has the power of the tiger! Yea I looked it up and
1986 was the year of the tiger. So maybe every year they did this gag with a different animal
of the Chinese Zodiac. Hogan continues to prance around naked while the other guys warn him,
he’ll get sick if he doesn’t cut it out. Eventually lunch is served. A giant slab
of beef! Hogan cuts himself off a big piece but instead cuts right through his hand. Now I can’t
actually follow what's going on here. But somehow Hogan turns into a cow, which would have been the
year before the tiger. Everyone runs around trying to find a cure but eventually decide that they
need to drain the cow blood out of Hogan and when they finally do, he returns back to human form,
while all the guys in the gym drink his blood. What the WWF is going on here!?
The next story is called called Santa Claus. Yea its Christmas time! Hogan and I think
Dump Matsumoto are walking past an elementary school and see some kids having fun with an RC
race car. The kid who owns the car said it was a Christmas present. One boy looks a bit down,
and thats because he didn’t get a Christmas present. This moves Hogan to step up and
volunteer to be Santa Claus and be a “big brother” to all the world! He put a pair of
antlers on Dump one off they fly! But along the way, Hogan spots a girls dormitory and
some laundry hanging on the line. He takes some bras and just goes total pervo on them!
Oh and by this time he's naked. Eventually the police catch up to them and threaten arrest.
But hogan jumps down from the building wearing all of the underwear he stole,
scaring the bejesus out of the cops. The whole things ends with the Hogan being shot at!!
The next story is called Powerful Momoko-chan. Hogan is hanging out with the Road Warriors and
he tells them that he’s getting ready for a date. Hawk thinks his date is an orangutan but Hogan
assures him that its actually a very cute girl! Theres a knock at the door and Hogan’s date,
Momoko chan is there. The Road Warriors think she’s so hot they spooge in their pants!! But
the reader has only seen her face at this point, the next page they get to see how she really
looks! Yea she’s a body builder! Animal quips that at first it looked like Beauty and the beast and
now its just The Beast and The Beast. Hogan and Momoko Chan hit the town and Hogan says “Lets go
see a porno movie” Is that some kind of running gag? Then someone in the crowd steals a backpack
and runs away. Momoko Chan throws an unknown projectile at the criminal knocking him down, and
then sits on him to keep him at bay. She returns the backpack to the rightful owner. And what
exactly did she throw at the perp to stop him? Well, she ripped off Hogan’s head and threw that!!
Did you know Hulk Hogan had TV some commercials in Japan? Let’s take a
break and when we come back, some even crazier stories are on the way!
Break
No wonder they called him the Huckster! The next story is called Conditions of Pro Wrestlers and
it features Super Fly Jimmy Snuka, Davy Boy Smith and the Dynamite Kid! The three of them
show up at Hogan's gym. Hogan takes one look at the three of them and says they’re too small and
don’t even have any muscle. Hogan even pets Dave Boy like a dog! Don't say it. I know!
Like a British Bull dog ha ha ha. Well the three of them gang up on Hogan and say You don’t need
to be gigantic if you’ve got speed! Meanwhile someone sneaks into the gym and slips a pointed
can of cola into the machine. Enough to kill a horse, they mystery man says.. Superfly Jimmy
Snuka says that he’s thirsty after giving Hogan a beat down. Which by the way, you KNOW this is
fiction because when would Hogan EVER job to these guys? Snuka gets a can of cola, the poisoned one
in fact, and Hogan swipes it for him and takes a drink. Hogan freaks out and says its poisoned and
to call an ambulance. But Superfly Dynamite and Dave Boy just split the scene. Which means they
just left him to die. But then Aigan stands up and says now that they’re gone, he can have all
of it for himself! And that’s the end of this story! I guess he like, doesn’t die! Oh well!
The next story is called Cinderella! You'll love this one. Hogan plays the part of Cinderella,
while Riki, and Animal play the mean stepsisters. of course they make him cook and clean and be
their servant. But when he does a lousy job of it they throw him out of the house. While he’s
outside he takes a leak then Hawk appears as the fairy godmother and uses his magic to give Hogan
a beautiful dress and a coach shaped like a wang complete with a pig to drive it to the castle!
Don’t forget that he only has until midnight! He shows up and immediately ruins everything by
taking the prince and holding him in a bear hug, killing him!! A fight breaks out with the royal
court, and all of these parts are played by other wrestlers, and Hogan ends up fitting with them
until midnight! Which after that his clothes turn to to rags and he makes an escape. The cops are
looking for him, because don’t forget, he murdered the prince!! Well to keep things tied to the
Cinderella fairy tale, the police go looking for the suspect by taking the glass slipper and having
everyone in town try it on. Oh and since it was Hogan's it means the shoes are 32 inches long! The
cops show up at Hogan's house and to beat the rap he takes a giant mallet and smashes
his feet to even bigger size and since the shoe didn’t fit, you had to acquit!
The next story Is called Officer Momokoko Chan, yea she’s back! The story starts with Momoko
working her day job as a police officer, someone asks her where the closest cast station is and
she says if he’s out of gas, she’ll just carry the car to where he needs to go! Hogan spots her
and the two catch up and get reacquainted! Its been about 6 months since they last met after
all. But remember she’s still on duty and so when a kid walks in the path of a car,
she leaps into action! She puts her hands into the ground and rips the
concrete out from under the car, like a rug to stop it and Aigan saves the little kid,
but Hogan stubs his toe and says he hurt his foot. Momoko chan say she knows something she
can do to make him forget all about his hurt toe. I know what ogre thinking and were ALL thinking
the same thing. She rips his arms off his body and says, does your foot hurt anymore? Of course not!!
The next story is called Women are a Weakness. Hogan just successfully defended the AAWA
heavyweight title. A delivery girl shows up with everyone’s dinner order and Hogan sees her and
because he thinks she’s so hot, his wang turns into a snake and he demands both the food and
the girl. Another wrestler,. I actually cant tell who its supposed be, comes to her defense and they
take it to the ring. On the line is the girl’s honor and the title! The match starts and they
go back and forth. Eventually Hogan drops trou and takes a dump on his face! To distract Hogan,
the girl flashes him and everyone else in the arena! Hogan though, hulks up and gets ready for
the famous leg drop so the girl gets desperate and gets fully naked! Then tackles Hogan and he
lays down for the three count! I mean wouldn’t you! Its a rare sight any time Hogan cleanly
drops the belt! The delivery girl is the winner of this bout! AND NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW AAWA CHAMPION!!
That’s all for this episode, Will I revisit these books someday? Thats up to you ! Tell me what you
think ! I hope you enjoyed this deep look into one of Japan and wrestling greatest lost works. In
some cases a very deep look at things you’ll never find in the squared circle, but its all in books!