>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK.
GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND RIGHT THERE.
STAY HUMAN.
LEWIS, LEWIS, TWO DELIGHTFUL YOUNG PERFORMERS ON THE SHOW
TONIGHT.
ELLE FANNING IS GOING TO BE HERE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT.
AND FROM "SONIC HEDGEHOG 2", SONIC HIMSELF, BEN SCHWARTZ IS
GOING TO BE HERE TONIGHT.
( APPLAUSE )
OUT SO FAR THIS WEEK, BECAUSE HE'S OUT THERE PREPPING FOR THE
GRAMMYS.
AND JOE IS OUT IN LOS ANGELES.
ARE THEY ALSO PREPPING FOR THE GRAMMYS?
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
>> I THINK THEY'RE IN VEGAS, AND I THINK THEY ARE GOING TO HELP
JON CARRY THE AWARDS.
HE'S NOMINATED FOR 11.
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> IT'S A LOAD, YOU KNOW.
IT'S LIKE GRAMMY CADDIES.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE GRAMMY SHERPAS TO HELP HIM GET ALL OF
IT HOME.
THERE YOU GO.
I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL JOINING US TONIGHT.
>> WE DO.
MY GOSH WE HAVE ONE OF THE MOST PROFOUNDLY INFLUENTIAL
GUITARISTS OF OUR GENERATION, MY DEAR FRIEND, ISAIAH SHARKIE ON
THE GUITAR.
>> Stephen: ISAIAH, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
( APPLAUSE )
ROBOTS-- IS WHAT I KEEP SAYING ON NATIONAL TELEVISION SO WHEN
THE MACHINES RISE UP, THEY WILL SPARE ME.
AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE LATEST GIZMOS AND GADGA-MAJIGS
IN MY ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENT SEGMENT:
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
CYBORGASM!
I HAVE TO SAY IT.
I HAVE TO SAY CYBORGASM!
WE'LL TALK LATER.
FIRST UP, SCIENTISTS WORKING ON ROBOTS THAT CAN CONVEY HUMAN
NICULA, A ROBOT WITH A REALISTIC FACE.
FINALLY ANSWERING THE QUESTION, "WHAT WOULD CAILLOU'S EXPRESSION
BE RIGHT BEFORE HE STRANGLED YOU?
THE ROBOT WAS DESIGNED BY RIKEN GUARDIAN ROBOT PROJECT,
AND IT CAN SUCCESSFULLY CONVEY SIX BASIC EMOTIONS.
SO, MORE THAN VIN DIESEL.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ).
VERY SIMILAR.
THE EMOTIONS THAT NIKOLA CAN EXPRESS ARE HAPPINESS, SADNESS,
FEAR, ANGER, SURPRISE, AND DISGUST.
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE FULL EMOTIONAL CYCLE OF EATING AT
PAPA JOHN'S.
( LAUGHTER )
RESEARCHERS HAVE ANNOUNCED THAT A LARGE ROBOTIC SNAKE OF
UNPRECEDENTED STRENGTH, FLEXIBILITY, AND LIFESPAN HAS
BEEN BUILT TO EXPLORE SPACE.
THANK YOU, CHINA.
( LAUGHTER )
WORLDVIEW TO LOOK AT A BIG SCARY SNAKE AND THINK I WISH THAT WAS
BIGGER, STRONG EXPRK COULD NEVER DIE."
IN DESCRIBING THE PROJECT, THE CHINESE SCIENTISTS SAID THAT
THE ROBOTIC TENTACLE COULD CRUSH A SMALL SATELLITE LIKE A PYTHON
STRANGLES ITS PREY BUT THAT CHINA DOES NOT PLAN TO USE IT AS
A WEAPON.
REALLY?
THAT'S A LOT OF DETAIL ABOUT SOMETHIN' YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO,
CHINA.
IT'S LIKE A REALTOR SAYING, "THIS PLACE HAS A GREAT BASEMENT
FOR SHACKLING UNSUSPECTING HOME BUYERS TO A RADIATOR, BUT I DO
NOT PLAN TO DO THAT.
ANYWAY, WHY DON'T YOU HEAD ON DOWN THE STAIRS AND TAKE A LOOK.
THE LIGHT SWITCH IS AT THE BOTTOM."
( LAUGHTER )
GUILT-RIDDEN DOG OWNERS REJOICE.
ROCKI IS A NEW ROBOT COMPANION FOR YOUR POOCH WHEN YOU'RE AWAY.
ROCKI IS A SMARTPHONE-CONTROLLED ROBOT THAT ALLOWS YOU TO
INTERACT WITH YOUR PETS FROM ANYWHERE THAT IS ALSO A $250
TREAT DISPENSER.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> YOU JUST GOTTA PUSH TWO BUTTONS ON THE SIDE HERE, AND
THE TOP COMES OFF.
AND AS YOU CAN SEE, THERE ARE 15 CHAMBERS FOR LOADING TREATS
INTO.
>> Stephen: AND IF YOU WANT TO SIMULATE THE EFFECT OF WHAT A
DOG IS GOING TO DO TO THAT ROBOT, SIMPLY ROLL A DOG TREAT
INSIDE $250.
NEXT UP IN THE CYBORGASM PIT, GET READY FOR THE FIRST
REMOTE-CONTROLLED STORE ON WHEELS, WHICH WILL BE SO
CONVENIENT FOR FLORIDIANS.
NOW THE JAMB JUICE CAN GET HIGH AND CRASH INTO YOU.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
RECOGNITION.
THE STORE ON WHEELS IS A ROBOT THAT CAN SELL A VARIED
INVENTORY-- CHOCOLATES, AIRPODS, KNEE SOCKS.
PERFECT IF YOU'RE SHOPPING FOR THREE PEOPLE BUT ONLY LIKE TWO
OF THEM.
( LAUGHTER )
GOING TO HIRE 100 ROBOTS TO FLIP BURGERS.
OKAY, GREAT.
ONE QUIBBLE: HOW EXACTLY DOES ONE HIRE A ROBOT?
( AS INTERVIEWER )
IT SAYS HERE THAT YOU'RE A MACHINE BUILT FOR THE SINGULAR
PURPOSE OF DOING THIS ONE JOB.
I'M SORRY, WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WITH A BACHELOR'S
DEGREE."
THE ROBOT IN QUESTION IS THIS LONG-ARM THING, AND IT'S
NAME IS "FLIPPY 2."
WHICH, OF COURSE, RAISES THE THE TROUBLING QUESTION:
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
WHAT HAPPENED TO "FLIPPY 1?" WAS IT, MURDER?
HE PROBABLY JUST BROKE OR SOMETHING.
FLIPPY 2's MAKER RELEASED A STATEMENT, SAYING FLIPPY 2
ALLEVIATES THE PAIN POINTS THAT COME WITH BACK-OF-HOUSE ROLES AT
QUICK-SERVICE RESTAURANTS, AND ALLOWS FOR THE REDEPLOYMENT OF
TEAM MEMBERS TO FOCUS ON CREATING MEMORABLE MOMENTS FOR
CUSTOMERS.
I PROMISE YOU, EVERY TIME I HAVE EATEN AT A WHITE CASTLE, I WOULD
HAVE PAID MONEY TO FORGET IT.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ELLE FANNING.
♪ ♪ ♪