Woo!
Ha ha!
Dad Jokes!
We are telling each other Dad jokes today.
Yeah.
We have to stare each other dead in the face,
first person to laugh loses.
I think it's going to be easy because Nicki laughs,
like, all the time.
(laughs)
So--
Hey, I might be like a Black Swan
or whatever the saying is.
(baas)
All right, poker face.
(drum beats)
- [Producer] Give us your best poker face.
I'm trying.
(laughs)
What do you call a man who can't stand up?
Ne-- oh sorry, do you wait for the answer?
Well yeah, yeah I wanted to have a guess but--
(laughs)
I mean, not laughing.
Hmm, Neil.
Well done.
That is correct.
Yeah.
I kind of heard you say--
I thought you did
Yeah.
You know people say they pick their nose?
I was just born with mine.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was all right.
Yeah. That was okay.
Ladies first.
(laughs)
Thanks.
Um.
(laugh)
You okay?
I can't say this.
Deep breaths.
I have--
(laughs)
Diarrhea?
Why are you crying?
I have the--
I can't hear you.
(laugh)
I cracked, I can't do it.
I can't do this, but I'm going to say it anyway
'cause it's funny.
Look at your face!
This is a point for you but I'll say it anyway 'cause,
(laughs)
I have forgotten all my boomerang jokes.
(laughs)
Maybe they'll come back to me.
(laugh)
(shrieks)
Oh my God I'm crying!
It's just 'cause I have to stare
and be serious and it's funny.
It's not funny.
I'm tryna work out what it says.
(laughs)
Sorry, I'm just like pent up energy.
(slow motion laughs)
I don't actually get this joke at all.
But, Dad, can you put on my ballet shoes?
Okay son, no problem.
No, they won't fit me.
Is that a joke?
I didn't get that.
Oh 'cause the dad is too big
for the shoes probably.
I feel like you're laughing.
I'm not.
Your eyes are tearing.
Did you hear about that restaurant on the moon?
No.
Great food, but no atmosphere.
(laughs)
There was a bit of spit there.
Oh sorry.
I was like--
(laughs)
What did the tree say to the lumberjack?
I'm stumped.
And so is that joke.
Stumped.
Ooh!
This one's nice because it resonates with me.
So we'll see how it goes down with you.
Mm-hm.
My mate David lost his ID.
Now I just call him Dave.
Nothing.
But funny.
(slow motion laughs)
'Cause it's funny 'cause you lose the ID.
Yeah I know, I get it, I get it.
(laughs)
I get it.
My husband's name is David.
I'm gonna to use this.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
(laughs)
How do you kill a vegetarian vampire?
You--
No, I don't know.
A steak to the heart.
Mm.
(laughs)
Yeah okay.
Thank you. Maybe, yeah.
A point.
- [Producer] He laughed at himself.
I know!
- [Producer] Not at the actual joke.
What Australian animal can jump
higher than the Sydney Harbor bridge?
None of them.
Don't do that to me.
You're doing that face
and it's not even funny already.
Is there more?
Because a bridge can't jump.
(giggle)
Oh this is a good one I feel like.
All right.
This could be a good pick up line.
Are you from Tennessee?
No.
Because you're the only 10 I see.
(laughs)
Yes.
Cha-ching.
The best thing about my dad
is probably that he makes me laugh.
My dad tells the worst jokes and not funny.
Accurate.
But the jokes that he uses today
are the jokes that I also use.
So...
Um...
(light guitar music)