I am here with the acclaimed chef and owner
of the famed restaurant Solteras in Pachuca, Mexico.
He's also,
(audience cheers)
Yeah!
Pachuca in the house!
Pachuca's in the house!
Pachuca's in the casa.
He's also the star of Top Chef Mexico,
please welcome Chef Aquiles Chávez.
(audience applauds)
Thank you for being here.
Thank you.
Welcome to Mexico!
Thank you.
Are you ready to try the Mexican cuisine?
I want to experience the real Mexican cuisine
and you are the man to do it.
That's what a man says.
Okay.
That's what a man says.
So, we're going to make a margarita.
Margarita, great.
Okay.
Alright.
Do you like the chili?
Chili?
Yeah, I'll take chili, sure.
Okay, perfect.
We're gonna make margarita with chili, jalapeno.
Okay.
This is for a real man.
Okay.
Alright.
Who do you think you're talking to?
(audience laughs)
Oh no, no, no, I'm just asking.
Is there someone back here you're looking at?
You see this guy with the hat?
Okay, perfect.
I am the ultimate man right here.
I'm the best the U.S. has to offer. (laughs)
(audience cheers)
Ow, that hurts!
Okay.
Okay, got it.
We need to put in the blender.
Okay.
Ice.
Ice. A lot of ice.
Lots of ice. Oh okay.
Cuantos? Too much.
Anything you want.
Alright, alright, there we go.
I'm not a very good, precise person.
Put chili jalapeño.
How much chili do we put in there?
Depends if you're man...
A really man, a really macho.
(audience laughs)
That's it!
Okay. I put all the chilis in!
(audience applauds)
Okay.
Lemon juice. Lemon juice.
(Aquiles growls)
Okay, perfect.
Perfect.
Are these the noises you make when you're cooking?
(growls)
Sugar. Sugar, azucar.
Azucar! Azucar!
Sounds like we're starting a fight.
Okay, more, more, more.
More, more.
That's it, that's it.
Alright.
Cointreau.
(Conan moans)
It's like an orange liqueur.
Orange, a little bit of orange taste there.
Okay. Very good.
Tequila! Tequila!
(audience cheers)
♫ Da da dada dada da da!
Tequila!
Tequila, sí!
Okay. Okay, how much?
No, no, no, come on.
(light laughter from audience)
Here you go, my friend. Okay!
(audience cheers)
Hey, hey, hey!
Oh no, watch out!
Gringo, take it easy, gringo!
Dónde está mi madre? (Where is my mother?)
Okay, pour tequila!
(Conan groans)
Okay, got it!
Yeah, perfect!
More, more, that's it!
Come on, come on.
It's not spring break!
(Conan screams) Take it easy.
Okay, and then, blend it.
Blend it. Okay.
Blend it! Problemas?
Houston, we have a problem.
(laughs) Okay, uh.
Shake it.
Have it on the rocks, guys.
(audience laughs)
Shake it!
Okay, and drink it.
Oh, no, no!
The cup!
Oh, in the cup! Yeah, in the cup!
Aah, the chilies!
(screams)
(audience laughing)
Andy, this is for you!
Andres!
I like them on the rocks, anyways, so.
There you go.
Oh!
(glass shatters)
It's all crazy.
Okay, come here.
This is mine.
No, that's mine, too.
No, no.
(mumbling)
Gringo, you're drunk, gringo.
Take it easy.
No, I'm getting there.
Alright.
Okay. Agh.
(blubbers)
We're gonna make the octopus.
Octopus!
In its own ink.
Pulpos (octopus) and tinta (ink).
Ah. Sí.
So we need a pulpo, right?
Sí.
A lot of people ask me how to make the octopus tender.
Yes.
So you need to hit it, box it.
What do I hit it with?
Ah, with this.
You want a bat.
You want a hammer.
Oh my god, okay.
Like this. Whoa!
(both grunting)
That's it!
Oh my god.
(audience laughs)
What's up?
Aw.
Put it in to cook.
What, we cook it now?
We cook it now.
Are you sure it's dead?
Yeah, of course it's dead.
Leave it in for 20 minutes.
20 minutes.
Up until it starts boiling, okay?
Right.
So we have it already done, now.
We did the old Martha Stewart trick,
we already did it.
So that's already cooked.
Olive oil. Olive oil.
Yes, put it in there.
Okay.
We need to put in onions.
Chopped onions.
Tomatoes. Tomatoes.
Jitomates. Jitomates.
I got it.
Chili. Chili!
Chili, more chili.
Oh, god, more chili.
And the octopus.
Cooked.
Don't put in raw octopus.
No, I got it. I'm not that stupid
I just need to be sure.
I'm stupid, but not that stupid.
Okay, then we put the octopus in.
Vinegar. Vinegar!
White vinegar.
Perfect.
And of course, the ink.
It has to cook in its own ink.
Yeah, put some ink here.
I love your hair.
Yeah, but you know what I like?
Your mustache.
Does he not have the best mustache?
(audience cheers)
You want a mustache?
I want a mustache. Give me a mustache.
Sure!
Oh my god.
(audience laughing)
(cheering)
You look terrific!
You look like a real Mexican!
Now. Okay!
Now I am getting in the telenovelá.
Now. Now I get the woman!
There's no more alcohol. Here we go. Okay.
Just give me that. No, no, no, it's fine.
Es mi amigo.
My precious. Precious!
So, cook 20 minutes. We have the octopus.
Already cooked.
With the rice on the side.
Yes, very good. With arroz on the side.
Try it. Try the octopus.
Okay, this is going to be good.
With arroz on the side, with octopus pulpo.
Pulpo a la tinta.
Excellente. Fantasticó.
It's lovely. See the pulpo is so tender.
(audience applauds)
The octopus is tender.
Okay, what's next?
The guacamole.
Guacamole.
Yeah but real Mexican guacamole. Okay?
So we need avocados, or aguacate.
Do you know what this mean, aguacate?
Avocado they come from the Nahuatal language.
It means, "testicle".
This is-
In Mexico, we have great avocados, right?
Huge aguacates!
You are saying your testicles in Mexico are this size?
Yeah, yeah yeah. That's why we have the Mexicans.
That's why-
That's the reason, because we are so macho.
Yeah, and it's why you never see anyone wearing shorts.
Sure, cause they're hanging.
Sometime you know, like a-
I'm close...
Yeah, the gringos have the same size aguacates?
The color's right.
But the Mexican does, it is our size.
Ah! Right here, right here.
Like a lime! Okay, just mash the avocado.
Smash it.
Just do it, just do it.
♫ La da dee, la-
No, it's not Italian.
Oh.
♫ La, la, da da
(audience sings in Spanish)
Perfect! So! Tomatoes, tomatoes.
Crushing, still crushing?
Yes crushing also. Onions. Oh, onions,
Cilantro. Cilantro.
Corriande. Corriande.
More chili. More chile!
You add the chili, and of course, lemon juice.
Lemon juice, perfect, and salt. Sí.
Salt.
Perfect, perfect.
Okay, next we're going to make a churro.
Churro! Churro.
Andy. Andy, help me make a churro.
This is a churro, but another thing.
In Mexico we call the churro just mocha.
Andy! That's so rude.
It's good.
Look at Andy. Andy's like (growls).
So, the churros.
We need the churro dough. We put it in the deep fry.
Deep fry.
I make a huge churro.
In Mexico we eat churros with hot chocolate.
You eat it with hot chocolate?
The chocolate also we put some chili.
Yeah, what- Can I ask a question?
What do you not put chiles on?
Is there one food in Mexico that isn't-
It's a medicine.
But a baby gets a bottle of milk, you put chiles on.
No, no you get chilies in the-
Here's my ice cream, ah, chiles!
Yeah, sure! Cinnamon, yeah, add chilis.
Oh, incredible. Oh, some chiles on the penicillin.
After this fry, you get these wonderful churros.
Andy, please try the churro.
It's lovely, it's crunchy, it's sweet.
You cover with the sugar and cinnamon.
This is terrific.
This is perfect for the hangover.
Oh, for the hangover! From the tequila?
This soaks it up?
You're going to be like a champion.
But the churro sometime the Mexican you call-
When you make, ah-
A.. a joint.
Everyone in the audience knows what you are talking about.
(audience laughs)
Thank you guys!
I try to be-
I think some of them had a churro on the way in.
Everybody wants a churro?
What churro you want? This one or this one?
They're way ahead of us.
That's it.
This is fantastic.
I gotta show you.
We have a little bit of time left.
I gotta show you the real Mexican tacos.
Mexican taco, crunchy taco, none of the crap
we do at Taco Bell.
Nobody- it is shit in Mexico.
How dare you insult Taco Bell?
Yeah, nobody eats Taco Bell in Mexico.
Jeff! Jeff! Jeff Ross!
He doesn't even listen to me.
Jeff Ross! Taco bell.
They're a sponsor of our show.
Really?
(Conan yells)
Nobody likes taco bell in Mexico.
But this is Mexico.
Hi taco bell, hi.
I'm going to give my recipe to the taco bell guys.
Thanks for the money. I guess you suck.
Yeah, it's true.
So you put the taco with cream. This-
Now I don't have a place to live.
And we have no money anymore. Ah, fuck it.
Off to Mexico.
So, salsa.
Salsa and guacamole.
That looks fantastic.
That's a real Mexican taco.
The deep fried taco. The crunchy tacos.
These are the crunchy tacos.
How is this different than a flauta?
That's what it is.
Oh, it's a flauta. Oh, okay.
(audience cheers)
These taco is stuffed, with lamb.
This is insane.
It's true it's insane.
Listen, this is so good, it has been such an honor.
This guy is a genius.
He's also very funny and a true artist.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you sir, thank you guys.
Aquiles Chávez.
Viva Mexico!