What's cookin', my Christmas crackers?
Oh look - we've landed back at Siege again! By now I think we're past the need for introductions.
I think we get that its whole MO is to take us back to the core of 1984
when everything was clear-cut and uncomplicated and Transformers only meant one thing
and to put out some properly good updated versions of its most beloved characters for the 21st century.
What a concept!
"Bring back G1", they cry on the messageboards!
Bitch... G1 never left.
But, y'know, I get it! The original Transformers is just pure retro bliss
and it just has that undeniable evergreen appeal.
Besides, new people are coming on board all the time and for new collectors, Siege is wonderful!
They're good toys, Brunt.
But when you're a seasoned old hand,
there's only so many times you wanna buy a new Optimus Prime or Megatron or Bumblebee or
- wait, there's no Bumblebee?
But it's a whole different game when there's a new Starscream in town
'cos Starscream's not just yer normal bankable wildly popular character -
he's also the reigning ruler of repaints and has been from day one!
I mean, any given Starscream could rack up like 20 recolours and nobody'd even bat a null ray.
Starscream repaints are such a huge thing in Transformers they've got a friggin' nickname!
Have you SEEN Cyberverse?
So you can imagine how hard I rolled my eyes when Siege Starscream was revealed
'cos not only are they re-treadin' G1 *again*,
they're also gonna try and rope me into re-livin' my love affair with the Classics Seekers
which is, like, one of the defining pillars of my collecting journey
and one of my most embarrassing consumerist spasms
- title of my memoir -
like, I bought every version of this thing I possibly could!
Sometimes twice - sometimes three times -
plus some fake ones and the insultingly overpriced latterday exclusives,
I even began this very YouTube series with a factory sample Acid Storm I imported off the internet
to try and wrangle some pre-release clout like a loser.
I love eBay and I love Singapore!
So I been buying this thing from pretty much the moment I got into collecting, right up until just now
and now they want me to do it all again!? Yeah right!
So I decided straight away I'd maybe just get the Skywarp
and put it in my dedicated Skywarp display cabinet with all my other Skywarps
...'s good, innit?
But otherwise, no thank you.
There's no chance you're gonna get me to re-invest in Starscream AND all his mates AGAIN!
And at a Voyager price point? Jog on!
Anyway, here's a review about all seven of 'em.
So, it'd be rude not to begin with Starscream himself
seeing as the whole recurrent Seeker phenomenon's basically his fault for being so damn enduring!
'Cos you gotta recognise the absolute royalty that Starscream is,
both within Transformers and in the wider nerdsphere.
He's just a powerhouse of pop culture and poster boy for all that is shit-headed.
And he's lookin' extremely sharp as his most authentic self in pre-Earth native Cybertron style
luxuriating in relentless Siege detail and voluminous Voyager height.
He is an absolute feast!
Bod's got the classic canopy costume, just fizzin' with life from that iridescent orange carcass canister
betwixt red-raw robo ariola.
Head's in rude health with the wonderful Seeker- standard box helmet and carefully crafted countenance
and can I get a hell yeah for the triumphant return of
LIGHT PIPING!
Seriously, it's been basically absent for so long I've seen people react to it like it's new.
So the proportions are wonderfully long and lithe, seeming somewhat spookily stretched
with the shoulder skyscrapers and lengthy legs.
I actually really appreciate the limbs on this thing!
The general posability is super slick and it all seems so considered, y'know?
Like, the arms are alarmingly problem-free, boastin' an embarrassment of joints and weapon ports
with elbows so deep they practically bend back in on themselves
and like, there's no kibble or horrible empty bits for me to have to make excuses for.
Similar story with the legs - they look amazin' and move like motherhumpers
and check this out - they've got these little bouncy sections behind the knees
which can collapse in to accommodate the transformation
as well as those crucial flying Sagat knee attacks
and then they just proing back out again to fill out the look.
Isn't that great?
Only thing is, the feet are VERY strange - very tippy-toesy.
They're almost like hooves.
But for stability and posin', I just can't fault 'em.
So shut up!
Anyway, 'round the back, ol' Jeffree Starscream's got some triple boosters on the go for that Astrotrain chic
and check out these giant sprawling vampire-cape wings!
Now, I don't wanna start too much drama about these, it's not like they ruin it or whatever, but...
[burp]
...there are problems.
To their credit, they're wonderfully versatile!
I love how simply they work - they're just on a swivel that's on a hinge
but they are a bit uggo on the front side?
Like, there's plenty of detail on the go, but it all just looks so necessary and structural.
It's just too many ridges, too little colour,
and look at this pathetically tiny Decepticon emblem!
Mate, there comes a point where you should've just not bothered.
It's Starscream! We all know he's a baddie, right?
And is it me, or is that the Movie version? I know those slightly wrong eyes!
Also, the wings are weirdly translucent.
They're certainly strong enough for purpose and they feel good and sturdy,
but they still let through a ton of light
which is the last thing I need when I'm tryin' to show off the best light piping they've given us for years!
But look, let's not get TOO hung up on that, okay?
This is a gorgeous figure that does almost everything right!
It oozes attitude, poses like a dream,
make the homies say ho, make the girlies wanna scream!
Starscream, that is!
Was that a joke?
[NOISY AWKWARD METAL RIFF]
Transformation's definitely got me conflicted over whether it's good or not
'cos it feels great when you're doin' it!
Like, the arms and legs fold up all tidy and slick and tight,
the backpack unfurls into a gorgeously smooth fuselage
but it's definitely a transformation powered by The Cheat.
Like, it IS just the robot crumplin' up as small as possible
and then the kibble drapin' over it like a throw blanket.
It makes no attempt whatsoever to marry up the cockpit and the chestplate,
which is just boshed on the back, bold as brass,
but don't worry too much - it'll happily pop off in your hand!
And I do love how the shoulder columns swing majestically around to seamlessly form the nosecone
but that's literally the only bit with any interplay between the two halves.
It's honestly wild how brazen it is.
Anyway, let's talk about the alt mode!
Now, because Siege is so committed to the whole
Generation 1 Season 1 Episode 1 Scene 1 endless vortex of nostalgia,
that of course required it to take on the unenviable design challenge of doing an official figure
of the fabled Tetrajet mode, which was famously previously attempted by Impossible Toys,
and, to an extent, by Hasbro themselves,
both of which... I don't wanna say flubbed it
but... yeah. Not great.
So I was very keen to see how we'd get on this time!
And uh, yeah, I mean... the bit that is a Tetrajet is extremely not bad!
Like, it's noticably a lot rampier and more gradual
than the harsh near-vertical walls of the cartoon sky pyramids
and I do certainly enjoy its swooshy form and lengthy nosecone and Star Destroyery grid lines!
I love that it can stand on its butt for some launch pad realness
or get the gun effects involved for a bit of booster blast!
But, it's just - there's a whole guy barely concealed under there!
Y'know what? Forget "barely" - it's just NOT concealed.
I guess it does have the old Cybertronian get-out clause -
um, how do you know that's not what they're supposed to look like?
Have you actually been to Cybertron, mate?
What d'you mean, "robot kibble"? That's clearly just his portable keg of Fanta!
But as a toy in my hand on the planet Earth, it looks goofy and it seems lazy!
It even flunks the whole Siege guns-galore deathstravaganza
by clumpin' all the weapon ports up in the same square millimetre.
So overall, as a figure, ol' Ringo Starrscream's kind of a half-satisfying half-a-job knob job.
I mean, I can't help but quite like it 'cos of who I am as a person
and when it's doing what it does, it can be pretty wonderfully charming!
Like, on the whole, the robot mode is pretty dynamite and absolutely kills it with the rest of the Siege gang
but that transformation thoroughly cheeses it
and so much of what's going on is so unavoidably dubious.
It's friggin' Dubious Caesar.
And I really wanted to love it so I could say it was the Scream of the Scrop!
The Scrème de la Scrème!
But as it is, it's just kinda... screambled eggs.
He scrème at own ass.
But regardless of quality, it's a Starscream, innit?
So obviously it gets free rein to sire its own squadron of Seeker spawn
so from here on it, it's all about the cosmetics, baby!
Let's take a dip into the shallow waters of the sea of Siege Seekers!
So yes, next up is Thundercracker, everybody's second-favourite palette-swap planeman
lookin' lovely and lush in his deeply blue royal hue
and I'm not sure if it's TOO blue?
Like, I dunno about you, but I like my 'Crackers with a healthy spread of silver and red
like a gleamy Union Jack
but in his humanoid moid, he's just got these pathetic little undersized underwing stripes
and some sleepy grey and black boringness to break up the blue.
It does kinda come to life once we hit the alt mode so that's somethin', I guess.
Bit of minor visage variation on the go -
check out that cheeky smirk!
Oh, how it pains him to do this!
Does feel a little out-of-place on old Thunderbuns though.
He's the uncertain one, right? Shouldn't he be a bit more ponderous and morose?
I feel like he'd be much better suited to Starscream's expression of ...I guess noncommittal distaste
and it'd probably be pretty easy to swap these over, but (sigh) who has time?
Also, all of these lads come with a pair of colour-matched arm weapons
which are designed distinctly more machine-gun-y than the classic needle-zappers
or girthy shoulder shooters.
Thundercracker's ones are ...blue.
Er... and that's kind of it for him, really!
I always feel a bit weird talkin' about Thundercracker 'cos I do have a lot of love for him
and I feel like there should be more to say?
But mainly it's just... I like him 'cos he's blue and it looks nice.
Is that all right with you?
Oh boy - it's mah boi!
Yes mate, Skywarp soars onto the scene as an awkward US-only online Amazon exclusive.
Pretty shockin' that there's seven of these bloody things and only two were available normally.
So, Skywarp came as part of a fancy $50 gift pack called the "Phantomstrike Squadron"
- awesome! -
which was just him and three Battlemasters, which I was initially pretty steamed about.
Like, can't I just have Skywarp? Who cares about Battlemasters? Boring!
But then it turned out that one of them's a battle axe that turns into a Pterodactyl
and it's called "Terror-Daxtyl"
and now that's the only thing I care about in the world.
And, y'know, bias notwithstanding, this is a really fun set!
Like,Terror-Daxtyl kicks ass, you've got two regular Targetmastery bloke bots,
Fracas (ˈfreɪkəs) and Shrute,
or in the correct English, Fracas (ˈfrækɑː) and Gareth,
the UV's completely nuts,
and because the team's made up of your main guy with a couple of pint-sized dudes
and like a flying dinosaur monster thingy, it just gives it a really fun vibe
like a little Soundwave squad!
By the way - lot of purple in Siege. I'm into it!
The only thing that kinda bugs me is, sadly, Skywarp himself.
He just looks a little bit washed-out and charcoaly.
I mean, it's not a deal-breaker! Still love him. Can't regret gettin' the set.
But without that delicious deep black and sharp slices of silver, he just seems a little bit off his game.
But still - I mean, Skywarp's like pizza,
and even though Siege has served us a pretty thin slice of one-cheese Margherita with extra crust
I'm still gonna chomp it down! I'll manage.
But the sides were delicious!
Now, let's venture beyond the original trilogy and into the extended Starscream universe!
Yes indeed, moving into the wider Seeker system, Siege first hits us with a cheeky repaint threefer - or
but rather than take the predictable path of a slight remould for the Coneheads,
we instead go for a triple-pack of single-episode singe-colour nobodies known as the Rainmakers!
Man, a 3-pack of Voyagers? That's gonna be a nice cheap treat!
A cheeky impulse pickup for the kids!
So yes, here we go with the US-only Target-exclusive Rainmakers, comprising Storms Acid, Nova, and Ion,
all of whom are lookin' slightly Poundlandy
in their eyeball-accosting and shockingly simplistic non-paintjobs
but that's how they looked in the show!
Look, we're the ones who are always twatting on about G1 accuracy
but in this case I think we would have allowed for some artistic licence, right?
No, not like that!
We'll begin, then, with Acid Storm, who's by far the most high-profile Rainbrain
because he - and sometimes she - has had a figure before ever.
And this is certainly a ghastlier guy - or gal - than the 2008 version's muted military forest friend colours
and I cannot lie, I love him!
Or possibly her.
'Cos Acid Storm's whole thing is being The Green One and that's literally all this is, is A Green One!
I know it's basic and cheap and obvious but my eyes like it and it makes my brain do a happy.
What do you want from me?
And I could say basically the same thing for Nova Storm so I'm gonna.
I cannot lie, I love him!
Or possibly her.
'Cos Nova Storm's whole thing is being The Yellow One and that's literally all this is, is A Yellow One!
I know it's basic and cheap and obvious, but
...you - you get this idea.
Sadly, I can't in all good conscience repeat that gag again for Ion Storm
'cos we've already got A Blue One and he's way better lookin' than you, buster!
It just seems so redundant for there to be two blue dudes - or
and poor old Ion Storm's even less nuanced than Thundercracker
and doesn't even have Acid and Nova's neon shock value.
I guess you could say that this soothing blanket of cosy blandness
gives you a nice opportunity to appreciate all the subtleties of the sculpting
which honestly is SUPER impressive - like Underbase level -
but like, d'you know what this reminds me of?
D'you remember when Mastermind Creations did their whole steampunk Dracula Seekers
and released that one version in solid unpainted grey plastic?
What was the point of that?
And what's the point of Ion Storm?
So I can't slate the Rain Train too much, 'cos I do like 'em on a basic level
but I can't help but feel I'm being condescended to.
I mean, not only do they represent the most primally exploitative aspect of toy collector culture -
the shameless no-effort repaint multipack -
which, yes, it is something I entertain
but I'm always sure to make fun of it so that you know that I know what a hyprocrite I'm being.
But as a group, especially in alt mode, you can't help but be suckered in by these lively-ass kindergarten colours!
It just cuts straight through to my toddler brain, like,
"yewwow gween bwue, hee hee hee!"
That shit is hard-wired and they know it.
So they did a red one as well!
Red Wing? That's a made-up character!
But, I suppose, aren't they all?
Starscream? That's a made-up character!
So we'll wrap up this flyboy fiesta with ANOTHER US-only Target exclusive:
the Generations Selects limited edition repaint, Red Wing,
who I'm guessing is a sort of G1 version of Armada Starscream?
Or like, Shatter?
I dunno. It doesn't matter who he is. He's a red guy.
Or possibly gal.
#A red one!#
But he does, at the very least, have a proper paint job
lookin' sharp as shit with the righteous red, deep blacks that Skywarp was achin' for,
and cheeky bright gleamy whites albeit with a sort of chalky, Tipp-Exy quality.
Gotta tell ya, I'm properly into Red Wing!
He just looks legit, man! Like one of the gang who was there all along
standin' just out of frame with Nitro Zeus and Lugnut,
he looks good as hell and he can definitely work that smirk,
although it does look a little spooky in pure white instead of the usual neutral silver
and with weirdly not-red amber light piping.
"Amber Lightpiping"? That's my new drag name.
Mind you, he'd be doin' a lot better if it weren't for these bloody Siege smudge marks!
It's just so difficult to ignore.
Like, he's the only one who's been splattered in two different complimentary colours
- oh, THREE different colours! -
and it's also pretty hard not to notice that it's the same pattern on every single one of them!
I don't mean to rattle on about it, but... (sigh) I just wish so much that they hadn't done that.
Like - who wins? What benefit does it bring? It looks bad now and it'll look bad later.
Especially with Red Wing! This is his first figure! Lay off him!
Anyway, sidebar - I have to say I'm enjoying Generations Selects so far.
I really like that Hasbro are bein' a bit more hands-on with the nerdy repaints
now that the Collectors' Club and Botcon have bit the big one.
I mean, I don't want to appear to be gravedancing or whatever,
but like, we still get all the cool obscure characters, they're only really a few quid more than the regular ones,
and on more than one occasion, I've seen them in shops, just on shelves!
So we can sit here and drag Red Wing all day for being a superfluous, unimaginative repaint
but at least he's not $110.
And that's all the weather!
Y'know, even after a handful and a half of this thing, I'm still not totally sure where I am on it.
As a figure it's probably a flat 6/10 -
extremely competent in a lot of respects but bumblingly naff in others -
but they do just have that Decepticon magic!
They look rad as a gang, and so far they're definitely the best Tetrajets out there.
And in any case, they've certainly quelled my appetite for Jetformers for a little while... if not for good.
I mean, after slowly collecting all the Deluxe Seekers over a decade
it was certainly a pretty thrilling and, honestly, kinda shameful experience
to scoop up all this lot in four months.
so I look forward to not having to buy any more of them for at least a couple of years!
Oh no.
Oh NO!
OH NOOOOOO!!!
D'you take Paypal?
So, huge thanks to longtime friend of the show Brentosaur
for being an absolute bro and hookin' me up with the four Target lads
but in lieu of his own Soundcloud, Brent's asked me to big up my local hearing loss charity!
That's Hearing Link, please do consider supporting them or the equivalent in you region,
and until next time,
party on!
Oouuughh, that was exhausting!
All right! Big thanks to everybody who's watching! Happy holidays and such
and mega thanks to Madeleine Dion for supporting the show.
#Chri-ist the Lord!#
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Limited appeal, keeping it real.