[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
A firearm instructor is blowing up on TikTok thanks
to his self-defense tips--
That's about to get y'all killed.
[CHUCKLING]
I'm gonna share with you what you
can do if someone puts a gun to the back of your skull--
I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, my seventh grade gym teacher,
I'm not listening to anything you
got to say about self-defense.
You look like me.
You're built like me.
He's just a dad bod in armor.
Right? - You know what I'm sayin'!
If they're just going to rob you,
you should always do what they say
and just give them whatever they want.
If you believe they're going to kill you,
if you believe they're going to be taking
you to a secondary location--
A second location, nigga, I'm not Jason Bourne.
I'm like they were just--
And they're moving the package.
Copy.
Here, take the chain, bro.
It's insured.
Like, what the fuck?
What the fuck, we're going to a secondary location.
Oh, no, no, no, not that.
I'm like, Jussie Smollett, I don't think
they're going to believe this.
[LAUGHING]
I was like maybe we just go in the subway.
He is going to shoot if I move.
So I'm not gonna move.
[LAUGHING]
So I'm a move.
[LAUGHING]
Get the fuck-- [LAUGHING] you know he's mad.
You know he's mad 'cause that's just his cousin.
He was like, yo, come do this video with me, bro.
He's like, DK, what's TikTok?
[LAUGHING]
Oh.
All right, he's using the Three Stooges.
Take that like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah.
[LAUGHING]
[IMITATING THREE STOOGES]
In a pinch, throw down a banana peel.
Detroit urban survival training--
This is the wildest Hinge profile photo I've ever seen.
I ain't scared of nothing.
But commitment.
[LAUGHING]
I'm gonna share with you what to do if someone abducts you
and they're sitting in the back seat with a weapon
to the side of your skull.
What the fuck is this?
To be fair, if you're gonna get abducted,
it's gonna be in a Uber playing Diplo.
Papi, where you going?
Next thing you know--
We're going under the bridge, papi.
That's where we're going.
[LAUGHING]
Way that works, number one--
It don't.
[LAUGHTER]
Way that works.
Grab the barrel and frame, redirect.
The finger's going to be caught from the aggressor,
and now you have the weapon.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's how niggas get shot multiple times.
No doubt, yo.
That means someone's gonna stand over you be like stupid.
Boom--
Boom, boom, boom, boom, fucking dick.
[LAUGHING]
I'm like I just wanted to know if you had an aux cord.
That's it.
That's it, bro.
Yo, your wallet.
Yo.
This nigga got a iPad on his wrist.
He's like it works off of Ji-Fi.
He's like it's not a watch. It's self-defense.
That's right.
You could block a bullet with it.
It's bom, bom, bing, bing.
[LAUGHING]
Gonna share with you what to do
if you're surrounded by a group of men and they attack you.
So if they come at you, what you don't want to do
is try to stay in the middle like you're
a martial arts karate movie.
Fight back, nigga.
Fight back.
[LAUGHING]
What you should do is this.
What you should do is play ring around the rosy.
[LAUGHING]
Oh.
He's like ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
Oh my God.
All right.
Y'all all fall damn.
I'm going to leave now.
So right here, finger's on trigger ready to shoot, right?
Yep.
If I move, he's going to shoot.
How you even end up in that situation?
[LAUGHING]
Yo, yo.
What-- what, nigga?
Yo, you made too many kids already.
Yo, yo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yo, your wife sent me. - No, no, no, no, no!
I can get-- I can get a vasec-- no,
no, no [GIBBERISH] I'm good.
I'll cool.
[LAUGHING]
I just take my dick off and give it to you
like, yo, here, here, here. Here, here.
Throw it in the bag!
You know what it is.
I didn't see nothing.
I didn't nothing.
You know what, the balls, too.
All right, all right, here.
1, 2.
I'm sorry.
So right now he can't pull the trigger because I blocked it.
[LAUGHING]
So what he's going to do is with his other hand,
he's going to punch me in the face
and then shoot me three extra times.
[GUFFAWING]