NOW ELECTION DAY IS ALMOST UPON US, OKAY, NOW REG, I CONSIDER
YOU TO BE A GAMBLING MAN BUT IF YOU HAD TO PLACE A BET ON TRUMP
OR BIDEN, WHERE ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR MONEY?
>> WELL, I WANT TO SAY BIDEN.
>> YEAH, OKAY, IAN, IAN?
>> ARE YOU A GAMBLING MAN?
I DON'T THINK ARE YOU A GAMBLING MAN.
>> I'M A RAMBLING MAN.
>> ARE YOU A RAMBLING PAN BUT NOT A GAMBLING MAN.
>> THAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR ALBUM.
>> RAMBLING MAN, NOT A GAMBLING MAN.
>> THE REASON I'M ASKING IS THIS BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY
ARE BETTING ON THE ELECTION RESULTS.
IN FACT, ACCORDING TO ONE GAMING SITE THE 2020 ELECTION COULD GO
DOWN AS THE MOST BELT ON EVENT IN HISTORY.
FINALLY SOMETHING TO BRING A LITTLE EXCITEMENT TO WHAT WOULD
HAVE OTHERWISE BEEN AN INCREDIBLY DUL EVENING.
I MEAN GAMBLING ON THE ELECTION RESULTS, WHICH MEANS PEOPLE ARE
GOING TO BE AT HOME WATCHING CNN LIKE COME ON, SLEEPY JOE, COME
ON, COME ON, JOE, DON'T SLOW DOWN, BUDDY, GO!
DID YOU KNOW I WROTE THOSE.
>> FROM YOU WRITING-- I NEVER TALK ABOUT IT ON THE SHOW.
I AM GIVING IT AWAY.
SOMETHING I LIKE TO KEEP PERSONALLY FOR ME BECAUSE I PUT
SOMUCH OF MY LIFE PUBLIC AND OUT THERE.
I'M NOT HITTING HIM, IT IS FOR ME.
WHAT?
COME ON, JOE!
>> WHOA.
CALM DOWN.
>> SHHH.
>> I GOT A TWEET TODAY, I WHREEP [BLEEP] YOU NOT FROM SOMEONE WHO
SAID, I WATCHED THE LAST TOOR SHOWS.
ARE YOU OKAY?
(LAUGHTER) I'M NOT BEING WEIRD, I WATCH THE
SHOW A LOT.
AND EVERYONE IS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING.
JUST CHECKING IN, ARE YOU OKAY?
AND I DID REPLY.
CUZ I THINK IT'S EVIDENCE.
OF COURSE TRUMP AND BIEND ARE BOTH ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL AND
TODAY THEY BOTH HELD RALLIES IN TAMPA, FLORIDA.
I MEAN FIRST THEY LOST THE WORLD SERIES, NOW TRUMP VISITING THEM.
IT'S A ROUGH WEEK FOR TAMPA BAY.
BOTH CANDIDATES IT TOP STOPPED IN TAMPA ON THE SAME DAY, AN
OLD-FASHIONED TAMPA BAY SHOWDOWN.
THE GRAND PERS AND TAM PASSING THE TAMPA TWO STEP, THE MELEE IN
THE BAY, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT TAMPA BAY, I'M MAKING THIS ALL
UP.
SORRY, I DON'T KNOW BUT AT TRUMP'S RALLY FIRST LADY MELANIA
TRUMP TOOK TO THE STAGE TO SPEAK ABOUT THE NEED FOR SOCIAL
DISTANCING WHILE SPEAKING TO A PACKED CROWD OF TRUMP SUPPORTERS
WHO WEREN'T WEARING MASKS.
>> THE PRESIDENT IS FOCUSED ON NOT ONLY DESTROYING THE VIRUS
AND BUILDING BACK THE ECONOMY, THEY ARE FOCUSED ON CREATING
WAYS FOR PEOPLE TO SAFELY STOP ISOLATING AND GATHERING WITH
FRIENDS AGAIN ON A SAFE DISTANCES.
>> WOW.
>> James: I CAN'T EVEN, I KBTS, CAN I, I CAN'T-- THAT'S
LIKE GIVING A SPEECH ABOUT SOCIAL DISTANCING AT A RALLY
WHERE NO ONE IS SOCIAL DISTANCE-- THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT
WAS HAPPENING.
WHEN DOES MELANIA READ THESE SPEECHES? IS SHE READING THEM
IN REALTIME?
RIGHT, THERE IS NO ONE THERE BOTHER TO LOOK AROUND AND GO OH,
THIS, THIS MIGHT FEEL WEIRD, NO?
THE ONLY PEOPLE AT THAT RALLY WHO ARE SOCIALLY DISTANT ARE
DONALD AND MEL ANIAN-- MELANIA AND THEY WERE DOING IT BEFORE
COVID.
AND ANOTHER POWNT TRUMP ATTACKED JOE BIDEN BUT ENDED UP INIS
THING HIS OWN FRIENDS.
>> I CAN MAKE APPROXIMATE A COUPLE OF TEESES GUYS, THEY ARE
FRIENDS OF MINE, THEY ARE NOT GOOD PEOPLE, THEY ARE BETTER
THAN JOE REASONS REALLY?
WOW.
>> HE CAN LITERALLY SAY ANYTHING AT ONE OF THESE RALLIES AND
PEOPLE WILL CHEER.
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS FOR THOSE
GUYS IN THE CROWD.
THE PRESIDENT JUST CALLED THEM FRENSD.
WHAT?
TRUMP THEN WENT OFF TO CONGRESSMAN ADAM SCHIFF WHO RAN
THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL AGAINST HIM IN THE SENATE.
AND HE WAS VERY SPECIFIC IN HIS DESCRIPTION OF THE SCHIFF, TAKE
A LOOK.
>> RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA, AREN'T WE TIRED OF THIS CRAP.
I FEEL LIKE-- I SAW SCHIFF THE OTHER DAY, TWO DAYS AGO,
WATERMELON, HE LOOKED LIKE A WATERMELON HEAD, RIGHT.
>> James: WATERMELON, WATERMELON HEAD, WHAT YOU ARE
SAYING IS THAT MAN IS A JUMPING OFF POINT FOR A HIT HARRY STYLES
SONG.
THAT'S A SHAME.
KILLED ON ZOOM, THAT.
SUSAN, DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT SONG BY HARRY STYLES.
>> I DO.
>> James: OH.
(LAUGHTER) I UNDERSTOOD ALL OF IT, IT JUST
WASN'T VERY FUNNY, YEAH, NO, YOU ARE RIGHT, IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY.
IT WASN'T.
IT WAS NOT THAT FUNNY, SUSAN.
YOU ARE BANG ON RIGHT.
MOVING ON, WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS, A HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION
IN TEXAS HAS ASKED A WOMAN TO TAKE DUN HER INAPPROPRIATE
HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS BECAUSE THEY FEATURED SKELETONS POSED ON
STRIPPER POLES, RIGHT, HER THEY ARE HERE.
LOOK AT THAT.
I MEAN IT IS INAPPROPRIATE, THOSE SKELETONS SHOULD BE
WEARING MASK.
HERE'S MY THING WITH THIS.
I LIKE WHEN THE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION SAID THAT THE
DECORATIONS WERE INAPPROPRIATE BECAUSE OF THE STRIPPER POLE,
NOT BECAUSE THEY SLOW DE CEASED LUMS.
WHOSE FLESH HAS ROTTED AWAY.
IT IS ROTTED AWAY, THEY WERE BURIED DECADES AGO AND THEIR
FLESH HAS BEEN EATEN BY MAGGOTS AND WORMS, EXOSED AND THEY SHOW
COME BACK TO LIFE AFTER THEIR FAMILIES HAVE MOURNED THEM.
THINK ABOUT THE GRIEVE AND THEY HAVE COME BACK, THE SKELETONS
MADE THE SKINS, SOME BOABS, THAT IS FEUN, IT IS THE FACT THAT
THEY ARE STRIPPERS.
AND I HONESTLY THINK THAT'S MY BEEF WITH HALLOWEEN, THAT IS MY
ISSUE WITH ALL OF THIS.
IS THAT IT'S JUST-- WE WERE GOING TO DO A STORY THE OTHER
NIGHT ABOUT A GUY, WE WERE-- A GUY WHOSE HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS
WERE SO LIKE, THERE WAS A DIRE-- WITH WAS IT, LIKE THERE
WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE, AND THE GUY HAD FALLEN OFF THE ROOF AND
HE HAD LIKE A WASHING MACHINE AND THE POLICE WENT AROUND
BECAUSE SOMEONE REPORTED A MURDER.
AND WE WERE GOING TO DO THIS STORY AND SEE THE-- WE COULDN'T
SHOW IT ON TELEVISION.
AND THAT'S HALLOWEEN IN AMERICA.
AND HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION ARE LIKE
WE'RE FINE WITH THE CORPORATIONS.
WE'RE FINE WITH-- YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO, GET A REAL
SKELETON, A REAL ONE.
>> LIKE A FRESH ONE.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO, TO REALLY GET TO THE BOTTOM, WE
SHOULD SKILL SOMEONEK SKIN THEM AND THEN STAND OUTSIDE GO, OH,
YOU'RE FINE WITH IN.
>> Reggie: THAT WOULD BE.
>> THAT BE A REAL CARPOOL SCARY-OKE.
>> WOW, YOU'RE ON [BLEEP] FIRE TONIGHT, ARE YOU ON FIRE.
NOT ONLY HAVE YOU COME DRESSED AS A MECHANIC IN A SITCOM IN THE
'90S, IAN, A SITCOM, WHO FIXES THE BOILER, BUT LIKE WILL FROM
WILL AND GRACE.
>> I AM GOING TO OVERCHARGE FOR THE CARBURETOR.
SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME, ISN'T SHE.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: OH DEAR.
COME ON, WE'VE GOT VIN DIESEL COMING UN.
>> OH YEAH.
>> James: IS VIN DIESEL LISTENING.
>> HE MIGHT BE LISTENING, HE IS IN THE ZOOM.
>> James: I WOULD LOVE IT IF VIN DIESEL IS LISTENING.
VIN DIESEL WAS THE LAST GUEST ON THE SHOW WITH AN AUDIENCE.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> James: YEAH.
THAT SEEMS JEERS AGO.
WHEN WE COME BACK WE'RE GOING TO TALK TO VIN DIESEL, EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK.