Shut up, S!
♪♪
♪
What, dude?
[ Laughs ]
[ Gasps ]
Alan mother[bleep] Cumming.
Oh, my God.
Who is that?
Both: Alan Cumming!
Saul!
Alan Cumming -- the magical, pansexual,
New York City party boi-nymph
in the beautiful flesh!
I have chills.
Okay, should we follow him?
I mean, I think we have to.
What? I'm starving!
Okay, it is not about you right now, honey.
Saul, we're talking about Alan Cumming
from -- from "Romy and Michelle,"
from "The Anniversary Party," from "The Good Wife,"
from "Spice World" fame, Saul.
I mean, Alan Cumming created his own perfume line
called "Cumming." [ Laughs ]
Is that LOL genie or what?
I'm wearing it right now.
Saul, I swear to Adonai,
whatever Alan Cumming has in store for today,
you will be titillated by it.
Yes.
He represents the real New York, okay?
The -- The pre-9/11, pre-"Sex in the City,"
Basquiat, Keith Haring New York.
The only Haring I'm interested in is pickled herring.
And as soon as we can get to that, I am fine.
Okay. We'll do it.
You got yourself a deal. Got yourself a deal.
Let's go, let's go. Let's go.
We'll make it happen. All right!
Come on, Saul. We gotta catch up with him.
Hurry it up.
♪♪
-Alright. -Alright. We're gonna catch up.
Giddy-up, Saul! Come on!
We got it, Saul.
Shit, shit!
Here we go.
We're losing him.
Okay. Alright.
We got -- [ Gasps ]
Drag brunch!
We must!
We must?
We must!
[ Groans ]
Okay.
-Come on, brother! -Here we go.
♪ You're our guest ♪
♪ Jiggly Caliente is the best ♪
♪ Tuck your dick between your legs ♪
♪ And shake those unfeasibly large breasts ♪
♪ A generous pour, contours and curves ♪
♪ All the drinks that you deserve ♪
♪ We are dressed in all couture ♪
♪ Just ask our queen, Sasha Velour ♪
♪ Undo your belt, loosen your pants ♪
♪ Tip your waitress, she's freelance ♪
♪ Our mimosa pours will always past the test ♪
♪ Come on and bring your nephew ♪
♪ Apply your blush and then you'll pass the test ♪
♪ Touch my chest ♪
♪ You're our guest ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yes!
Can I take your order, baby?
Yes. Can I get a coffee with a side of you?
-Wooo! -Oh!
Sau-ul.
Looks like I got a fresh one, mm-hmm?
I love this place.
Thank you.
And I love money, so make sure y'all tip, okay?
-Yes. -I'll be back, doll.
Okay. Love it.
♪♪
[ Sighing ] Oof! That was good.
Oh, my God, Ilana. He's at the bar.
♪♪
We have to go pay our respects.
Okay.
Let's vape and loosen up a little bit.
Okay. Thanks.
♪♪
Oh, Saul, this is a marijuana pen.
Ooh, sorry. You probably don't want that.
Why shouldn't I get high?
[ Piano music plays lightly ]
Yeah, go for it.
Get ripped, 'cuz.
[ Coughs ]
You can't get off unless you cough!
That's for damn sure.
[ Both laugh ]
Both: Conga time!
Ooh, come on, girls.
Oh, my gosh, Abbi, his friend just left him,
leaving him all alone at the bar.
Oh, my God. It's now or never, dude.
Come on.
[ Conga music plays ]
[ Indistinct talking ]
♪♪
It's a bare... with a hint of lavender.
Mm.
[ Clears throat ]
♪♪
Hello.
Both: Hi.
Um, Mr. Cumming, um...
we just want to say how big of fans we are.
-Um... -Yes. [ Chuckles ]
Thank you so much for bringing us here today.
For bringing you?
We followed you for, like, 13 blocks.
Cool.
It's really cool.
It is cool.
I think it's kind of cool.
So you're a couple?
No. [ Chuckles ]
We're just best friends forever.
Oh, it's just... the hat.
No, we actually just brought Ilana's 16th cousin,
uh, 'cause he's a Holocaust survivor.
Oh, really? That's incredible.
My cousin.
We really need to cherish our elders
and hear their stories.
You want to meet him?
-Sure. -Yeah, he's here.
You've got to meet my 16th cousin, Alan Cumming.
-He's great. -He's right over there.
Where is he?
-Abbi, look! -[ Gasps ] No!
Both: Saul!
No!
[ Congo music continues ]
Ilana: Saul!
Abbi: Saul!
Both: Saul! Saul!
Oh, my God.
He's gone for [bleep] ever!
Okay, okay.
Dude, we'll just see where the bus stops next.
Okay.
Um...
Uh -- uh --
I can't read a [bleep] bus map.
No, me either. Okay.
We cannot be losing Holocaust survivors!
Not now that the world is gaining Nazis somehow!
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Where would a Holocaust survivor go?
Um...
Okay, okay. Think, think, think.
Um, pickled herring. Um...
Both: [ Gasps ] Zabar's!
Yes!
Shit! My hat, dude!
Leave the hat!
No!
It's not that simple!
[ Jewish folk music plays ]
♪♪
To the mayo-based salads.
Saul? Saul Borowitz?
Oh, excuse me, excuse me.
Have you seen an elderly gentleman,
like yay high?
He's also very high as in stoned.
Oh, he's also wearing brightly colored
LeBron high tops.
Yes.
I don't think so. Sorry.
Shit.
Okay. Maybe we check down here --
Wait, Ilana. Okay.
Um, I'm never up here,
and -- and the babka is insane.
We got to get some while we're here.
I will get some whitefish salad.
Hey, can I get a pound of whitefish salad please?
And we'll take that to go. We're kind of in a hurry.
Thank you.
Okay, dude.
Where else would a Holocaust survivor go?
[ Sighs ]