Ever since he first started running for president...
50 years ago, I'm gonna say,
Donald Trump has refused to show the public his tax returns.
And now we might finally know why.
NEWSWOMAN: Breaking news-- tax bombshell.
The New York Times gets its hands
on President Trump's taxes,
showing staggering business losses,
crushing personal debt,
and a tax bill that's just a fraction
of what most hardworking Americans have to pay.
This morning, The New York Times reporting
that President Trump paid just $750 in federal income taxes
the year he won the White House,
and the same amount his first year in office.
On top of that, the paper says that of the 18 years
they examined, he paid no federal income tax
in 11 of them.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, hold on.
The president of the country almost never pays taxes?
And when he does, he only pays $750?
Yo, that shit pisses me off.
Because Trump is always out there like,
"We're building back our military..."
"We"? No, mother (bleep),
we're building back the military.
You didn't pay for shit.
If you didn't chip in,
you don't get to put your name on the card.
And just for those keeping score,
Trump paid $750 in taxes
and $130,000 to a porn star.
Which means if the IRS wants to get money from Trump,
you guys know what you gotta do.
And this story didn't just expose
how little Trump has paid in taxes over the years,
it also revealed some of the accounting tricks
that he used to do it.
NEWSWOMAN: The paper also accuses the president
and his companies of claiming questionable deductions.
NEWSMAN: The article reveals that among the write-offs
Trump has taken over the years
are more than $70,000 for haircuts
while on The Apprentice,
nearly $96,000 paid
for Ivanka Trump's favorite hair and makeup artist,
and approximately $2 million
for Trump and Donald Trump Jr.'s legal defense
for the Russia inquiry.
NEWSWOMAN: He also wrote off more than $109,000
for linens and silverware,
and nearly $200,000 for landscaping at Mar-a-Lago.
NEWSMAN: Trump reportedly racked up $26 million
in "unexplained consulting fees."
The Times finding that Ivanka Trump was the recipient
of some of those payments, which would raise flags,
because she was also an employee of the Trump organization.
Okay, first of all, you're not supposed to pay an employee
a consulting fee.
But also, for Trump, there's a cruel irony
that the one payment to a woman
that might actually get him in legal trouble
was to the one woman he can't sleep with.
And the craziest thing to me
is that he took a $70,000 deduction
on his hair.
Because to me, now it looks like two crimes
might have been committed here.
One is Trump's tax evasion,
and two is whoever swindled Trump
into paying $70,000 for what they did to him.
On the other hand, though, $70,000 for Trump's hair
might actually make sense,
because whoever did that
needed to bend the law of physics.
And I'm pretty sure that ain't cheap.
And if you ask me, the worst part of the story
for Donald Trump isn't that he got out of paying taxes,
because, I mean, let's be honest,
lots of billionaires do that.
I mean, billionaires paying their fair share of taxes
is like someone going to a pumpkin patch
and not Instagramming it.
It doesn't happen.
But what this story exposes
isn't just that Trump is bad at paying taxes,
it's that he's even worse at business.
NEWSWOMAN: The investigation paints the picture
of a businessman whose empire is seriously struggling.
According to The Times,
most of the president's core businesses,
including his golf courses and hotel
just blocks from the White House,
report losing millions, if not tens of millions,
year after year.
The Times says documents show the president reported
more than $47 million in losses in 2018 alone,
and he faces a personal debt totaling $421 million,
money that could come due while he's in office
if he's elected to a second term.
Okay, can I just say, if you decided
to lend $400 million to Donald Trump,
that's on you.
Yeah. I hope he doesn't pay you back,
'cause you are the one person on earth worse with money
than he is.
But just take a second to think about what all this means.
If Donald Trump does win a second term,
his creditors will come asking for their $400 million
while he is still president.
And I don't know about you, but that has me worried.
Because I don't want the president's decisions
for the country getting influenced
by his deep financial troubles.
And also, 'cause there's a good chance
that Trump is gonna pay off his debt
by selling off American treasures.
How much will you guys give me for the Grand Canyon?
It's a priceless testament to nature's majesty.
I'll let you have it for 400 bucks.
$350. Deal.
I got to say, guys, after reading this story
in The New York Times and learning this about Trump,
everything makes so much sense now.
Like, this tax story is the Rosetta Stone
that helps us figure everything out.
Trump doesn't actually want to be president.
He just really needs that Secret Service protection.
Shit, if I had $400 million in loans coming due,
I'd also be trying to cancel the election.
It also explains why Melania isn't leaving Trump.
I mean, if she divorces him,
she gets half of the $400 million in debt.
I also now get why Trump was rooting
for Bernie Sanders so hard.
He wanted him to win
so that the government would bail him out.
I mean, it all makes sense now, people.
It even explains why Trump has been destroying the post office.
Good luck collecting your money when you can't mail him a bill.
Either way, people,
America's president is in big trouble.
He has a mountain of debt, and his businesses are failing,
which is why Africans have come together
to try and help out those most in need.
Hello.
I am here with a message for my fellow Africans.
Over the years, America has given us so much help.
But now there is an American
who needs our help.
The president of the United States
is in deep debt.
He is so poor,
he has to eat out of buckets.
He cannot afford to educate his children,
and now they are so stupid.
And every day, he struggles to drink water.
But for just the price of a cup of coffee a day,
you can help the president go from being in enormous debt
to being in just a lot of debt.
And if you donate today,
you will get a personal letter
from the president you help.
But please hurry.
He is so malnourished,
he has begun to slur his words.
(slurring): God bless the United States.
Thank you very much.
Remember, you can help
an American president in need.
Because without your help,
he could soon be living in a shithole.