The comfort of walking away - When the best decision is to leave! I'll give you reasons why it is the
best decision to leave a relationship, and why you should take comfort in doing so!
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There comes a moment in a relationship whether it's toxic, negative, lacking intimacy or all of
that combined, where a person thinks the following = "Enough is enough... I can't take this anymore... I don't
feel anything towards them... I don't want to be near them... I actually want to be out..." When you mentally
and emotionally check out of the relationship that is it... there's no way back... it's officially finished.
Before I talk about the comfort and mentality to take when you do finally walk away, let's discuss
more the reasons why it's the best decision doing so. It's become unbearable - perhaps the fighting is
too intense, too much, too toxic. Perhaps you're not on talking terms, sleeping in different beds,
there's no going back from this... especially when the overall feeling is it's unbearable.
You're emotionally numb - there was once a time when you felt love, support and care, but now
you're numb, now you think and feel nothing towards them... it's like you're forcing yourself to love and
feel attraction to the wrong person... Never good enough - you'll never be good enough for the wrong
person, no gestures, gifts, no amount of change, therapy, personality shift, money, nothing will
ever please or satisfy the wrong person or ever be good enough. No problems resolved - you might have
argued and had disagreements until you were blue in the face, but what's changed for the better? What
has improved? Where is the growth? Nothing because no issues get resolved with a toxic or difficult
person or in fact a person who's wrong for you. And finally Misery - Your relationship should be
your haven, your peace, your happiness, but if you genuinely feel repulsed, miserable or turned off,
that is a serious red flag, especially if that continues for a long time. With that being said
here is the comfort you should take when deciding to walk away from that person and the relationship!
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Walking away from a relationship can bring a sense of freedom and a fresh start!
You can focus on yourself and figure out what is important to you and what you need in life without
having to compromise to please another person. The following are typical statements made from people
who feel this sense of freedom = "I feel I was locked away from the world for so long.... I finally got my
life back, I could do whatever I want... I'm free!" Ava was in a very long toxic relationship with
a man who cheated on her, lied to her and so on. Ava had several roles in the relationship, she was the
parent organizing everything in the relationship, from paying the rent, maintenance, he did nothing.
She was the cleaner, the flat was an utter mess when he was ever told to tidy up, which never happened.
She was the responsible one, when they went on vacation she handled the booking
of flights, taxis and luggage... he used to lose his passport, turn up late and cause problems.
She was the doormat, she would be left at home alone, whilst he would go out
gallivanting and most likely cheating on her or disappear for days on end... with no contact
Ava admitted "I was not in a relationship, in all honesty I was in a prison. A prison where
I could not escape no matter how hard I tried or whatever I did!" However the moment she walked away
she got her freedom back... the freedom to put herself first, make her own choices, not have
many roles to satisfy a toxic person anymore and she's never been happier! With that fresh start she
attracted a brand new healthy man and then over time had a wonderful relationship as a result!
So don't worry! Don't panic! Take comfort in the freedom that you will inevitably experience!
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By walking away from the relationship you gain clarity, allowing you to reflect more clearly and
help you make better decisions. Our clarity is misguided, clouded and confused when we're with
the wrong person for too long. The following are typical statements made from people who feel this
sense of clarity = "I'm finally thinking straight... I was asleep for too long... I'm shocked at how I used
to be... I can't believe I did what I did..." Excuses and turning the other cheek go hand in hand when
we're deep into romantic relationships with the wrong people. I've got first-hand experience of
this when I was in a toxic relationship in the past, excusing bad behavior... I assumed foolishly
"Okay she's behaving badly but that is who she is, hopefully she'll grow out of it" and
she got worse over time. Ignoring red flags - whether it's a tantrum, rudeness, disrespect, I'd
ignore the flags and say "well I'll iron out those issues over time" but I felt miserably
And then different values, we were never on the same page on even the most basic things, but I
assumed over time and the more we love each other she'll buy into my way of thinking... she never did
When I finally and eventually walked away from the toxic relationship in the initial few weeks and
months I was exhausted, mentally drained, confused and my mind was clouded. I was all over the place
but after the peace and quiet and after resting, healing and recovering, I almost
found myself and my brain being switched on again after years of being off or under a
cloud or confused, and there and then it hit me like a ton of bricks as I said to myself
"My goodness what was I doing with that person?!" I woke up, I finally finally woke up... basically
I got my clarity back as you will do as well over time, and you should take so much comfort in that!
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I believe nothing is wasted, and any relationship we've had good or bad can
be learning experiences... you can gain valuable insight into your own emotional needs, how to
handle yourself better in romantic relationships, and learn how to better understand your feelings.
People have always said to me personally "you've grown so much" since I walked away. More
examples include = Reclaiming Independence and individuality - after leaving a relationship you
can work back to relying on you and fending for yourself in many ways. Connecting with a
healthy support system - you can find friends if you lost touch with family, other people,
new friends, new connections that will give you personal growth and support along the way.
Re-evaluating values - taking the time to evaluate your core beliefs and values and moral compass to
understand a stronger version of what makes you who you are and why you do what you do.
Exploring emotional health - identifying triggers and working to heal any types of trauma can be
liberating, working with a therapist is obviously the best option there. So you want to grow in the
sense that you don't want to repeat yourself, you don't want to attract another toxic relationship,
you don't want to go down the same path... insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and somehow
expecting different results! I made the solemn vow that I would never have a toxic relationship or
partner ever again and through self-education and experience came the growth! The growth to
take personal responsibility to never repeat the process ever again to never make the same
fatal mistakes! Growth is something that all of us have, some ignore and some really thrive with
and at the end of the day it's a great reason to take comfort in walking away, that no matter
how bad the breakup is or where you are right now, that you can and will grow in the process!
In a healthy relationship you become stronger and more self-confident... in an unhealthy one you feel
less confident and less sure of yourself. Walking away from the relationship can be a real strong
and powerful indication of self-love and respect. Most people settle and stay way longer than they
should... they don't have respect for themselves, their boundaries, mental health nothing. They
willingly and unconsciously tolerate more abuse and negativity by putting up with the wrong person,
and let's talk about self-love. There's literally more of a chance of self-loathing than self-love
in a toxic relationship = you neglect your needs by staying with a neglectful difficult person... it
makes it hard to love yourself when you're with a partner who has no healthy idea or understanding
how to love anything or anyone. When I walked away from my toxic relationship I felt honestly
an immense sense of pride! That pride that I had self-respect for myself back and I was no longer
going to tolerate the wrong partner and over time... the self-love that I saved myself from the
misery and despair of the wrong situation. You need to and should take comfort in all of that!
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