I don't know who's writing real life now,
but this story is insane.
First of all, that this hedge fund billionaire
got away with running an underage sex ring for years,
and secondly, that he lived right across the road
from Bill Cosby.
Like, I don't know who the neighborhood watch is,
-but they're doing a shitty job. -(laughter)
Like, seriously, how do two major sex criminals
buy houses across the road from ea...
Like, what are the chances? Huh?
Is there a filter on Zillow that I'm unaware of? Is there?
It's like, "Fireplace, secret sex dungeon...
Oh, and doorman, doorman, definitely doorman.
Like, I'm sorry, Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein
on the same street-- talk about a dangerous neighborhood.
Like, they could do a whole season of Law & Order
that just takes place on that block.
-(laughter) -Just that block.
So... so the police raided Epstein's mansion,
found lots of incriminating evidence,
and threw him in jail.
And today, Epstein's lawyers argued
that he should be allowed to live under house arrest
until his trial.
Although I don't think "house arrest" is a good idea,
'cause, I mean, the house is where
all this shady shit allegedly went down.
It would be like Walter White getting to go wait for trial
in an RV in the desert.
It's, like, well, that's... that's where it happens.
And you might be asking: Where does Epstein even get the balls
to ask for such lenient treatment from the law?
Well, maybe it's because this wouldn't be the first time.
NEWSMAN: In 2008, Epstein was accused
of running this very same sex trafficking operation
involving at least 40 underage girls,
but those federal charges back in 2008 were dropped
after Epstein received
a controversially lenient plea deal
Epstein was only county jail for 13 months
and was allowed out to go to work six days a week.
I'm sorry, everything is shady
-about this deal. Yeah. -AUDIENCE MEMBER: What?
Yeah, "What?" is the right reaction there.
Not only did the charges get dropped,
what he was charged for meant that he was going to jail
but he was allowed to leave prison
for six days a week and go to work.
Yeah. That's not prison, that's just life.
(laughter)
You go to work every day,
and then Sundays you stay in.
The only difference is he was living rent-free.
I mean, can you imagine
if you were sharing a cell with this guy?
Epstein comes back to jail at night and his cellmate is like,
"What a day. I spent 12 hours in solitary confinement."
And Epstein is like, "Oh, I wish I was in solitary.
"Starbucks was a zoo this morning.
Anyway, good night, Bill Cosby."
(laughter and applause)
Now...
Now, one of the reasons this story has blown up
isn't just because Epstein is a billionaire
who was running an underage sex trafficking ring.
It's also because the man who let him off
with that lenient prison sentence,
went on to become Donald Trump's Labor secretary.
Yes. And now, because this story is blowing up again,
Trump's guy has been forced to step down.
TV REPORTER: The fallout from Epstein's case
reached the White House Friday,
Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta
resigning his Cabinet position
after Acosta faced mounting pressure
for his role in negotiating a controversial plea deal
with Epstein as a U.S. Attorney in Florida
more than a decade ago.
President Trump accepting the resignation
while praising Acosta.
This was him, not me, because I'm with him.
He was a-- he's a tremendous talent,
he's a Hispanic man...
(audience reacts)
He's a Hispanic man?
What a strange thing to bring up when a guy is resigning.
Like, no other boss would do that.
No one would be like, "So, everybody,
"uh, today is Jerry's last day.
"Uh, he's Korean, and, uh,
"there'll be cake in the break room.
Thank you, everybody."
So the guy who gave Epstein that sweet deal
has resigned in disgrace, but the question remains,
how did Epstein manage to get away
with just a slap on the wrist in the first place?
Well, it turns out maybe
it's because of how insanely connected he was.
TV REPORTER: The 66-year-old has palled around
with some of the most powerful in politics
and business, including President Trump.
TV REPORTER: In 2002, Trump called Epstein
a "terrific guy," adding,
"It is even said that he likes beautiful women
as much as I do
and many of them are on the younger side.
TV REPORTER: Reporting this morning suggesting
closer times between the president and Epstein.
A 1992 party at Mar-a-Lago
billed as a calendar girl competition.
A Florida businessman who organized it tells The Times
30 people attended this party.
28 girls, Mr. Trump and Mr. Epstein.
That's the entire party.
28 women in a room
with Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein.
Doesn't sound like a party.
It sounds like an escape the room.
That's what it sounds like.
"Pull on his hair. See if it does something."
And it's not just Trump.
It turns out Epstein has had powerful friends
on both sides of the aisle.
TV REPORTER: Mr. Epstein was also friends
with former President Bill Clinton.
TV REPORTER: Bill Clinton's office
released its own statement.
"President Clinton knows nothing about
the terrible crimes Jeffrey Epstein pleaded guilty to."
TV REPORTER: Clinton acknowledges he flew four times
on Epstein's private jet in 2002 and 2003.
Chauntae Davies was a flight attendant
on the jet known as the Lolita Express
because it allegedly shuttled underage girls
between Epstein's homes.
She told Inside Edition
Clinton did nothing improper on those trips.
She said she made him peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
(laughter)
You know, I'm...
I'm glad the news got her to reenact the making
of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,
just so that we all know what that looks like.
That was nice. That was nice.
And, clearly, clearly, this is,
this is a man who had a lot of connections, right.
It might explain how he got away
with those heinous crimes for so long,
and with these new charges being filed against him,
many are wondering who he might bring down with him.
Over the coming weeks, the story is gonna unfold.
There's a good chance a lot of questions are gonna be answered,
like how exactly Epstein made
all of his money, which is shady.
Which powerful people were involved in his sex ring,
and, most importantly,
why his front door is so goddamn big.