JUSTICE SCALIA PASSED AWAY OVER THE WEEKEND, AS WE ALL NOW
KNOW.
IT TURNS OUT HE WAS IN A
REMOTE AREA OF TEXAS.
THEY SAY HE DIED OF NATURAL CAUSES, BUT
NOW CONSPIRACY THEORIES HAVE BEGUN.
SAY IT WITH ME -- OF
COURSE!
JOHN POINDEXTER OWNS THIS FANCY RANCH, SOME
CELEBRITIES GO THERE FROM TIME TO TIME, AND HE EXPLAINS WHAT
HAPPENED TO THE PRESS --
HE'S NOT THERE FOR POLITICS.
ALSO HIS FAMILY IS NOT THERE.
APPARENTLY ONE OF HIS SONS WAS SUPPOSED TO COME BUT DIDN'T
COME, HE IS THERE BY HIMSELF WITH NEW FRIENDS, BECAUSE HE
HASN'T GONE TO THIS RANCH
BEFORE, IT'S NOT LIKE A REGULAR THING HE DOES EVERY YEAR.
HE HAD
GONE TO TEXAS MANY TIMES, BUT THIS IS A NEW THING.
THAT'S
INTERESTING.
HERE'S THE PART
THAT MADE EVERYBODY'S HEADS EXPLODE.
POINDEXTER THEN WENT ON
TO SAY --
[SIREN SOUND EFFECT] NOW EVERYBODY IS GOING NUTS.
FURTHERMORE --
FOR NOW, THEY HAVE NOT PERFORMED AN AUTOPSY, AND A
JUDGE WHO WAS NOT THERE TALKED TO THE U.S. MARSHALS ON THE
SCENE, THE U.S. MARSHALS SAID IT WAS NATURAL CAUSES, AND SINCE
THIS WAS A VERY REMOTE AREA IN TEXAS, OVER THE PHONE THE JUDGE
SAID WE WILL CALL IT NATURAL CAUSES AND MOVE ON.
SO THE
DRUDGE REPORT, HUGE HEADLINE,
DRUDGE IS RIGHT WING, SAYS --
THAT SEEMS TO IMPLY SOME SORT OF ISSUE, RIGHT?
MAYBE A
CONSPIRACY, MAYBE SOMETHING ELSE.
THAT IS THE BEGINNING, AND
THEN GATEWAY PUNDIT, INSANE
RIGHT-WINGERS --
JOHN POINDEXTER IS CONSERVATIVE.
HE SAYS IN TALKING
TO THE PRESS, EVEN BEFORE HE KNEW ANY OF THIS WAS AN ISSUE,
THAT THEY LOVE SCALIA, THEY AGREE WITH HIM, AND HE PROTECTED
LIBERTY.
POINDEXTER IS OBVIOUSLY
MASSIVELY CONSERVATIVE, AND THE "AWARD" THAT OBAMA GAVE HIM WAS
FOR HEROISM IN THE VIETNAM WAR.
DID YOU NOT WANT HIM TO GIVE HIM
THAT AWARD?
OBAMA AWARD WINNER, TALKING ABOUT SCALIA WITH A
PILLOW OVER HIS HEAD.
OKAY.
GATEWAY PUNDIT CONTINUES --
[SIREN SOUND EFFECT] I KNOW THIS IS A FALSE PILLOW
OPERATION.
IF THE RIGHT WING IS GOING TO START NONSENSE AND
CONSPIRACY THEORIES, I GUESS WE COULD FIGHT PILLOWS WITH
PILLOWS.
WHY WAS HIS FAMILY NOT
THERE?
THERE BY HIMSELF WITH A PILLOW OVER HIS HEAD?
WAS
SOMEBODY PLAYING ASPHYXIATION GAMES WITH HIM?
I DON'T KNOW,
I'M JUST ASKING.
THE RIGHT-WINGERS ARE ASKING, I'M
ASKING.
WAS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE IN THE ROOM WITH HIM?
I DON'T
KNOW, I'M ASKING.
WAS IT A FEMALE PROSTITUTE?
I DON'T KNOW.
WAS IT A MALE PROSTITUTE?
I DON'T KNOW, I'M ASKING.
WERE
THERE ANY SEX TOYS FOUND?
I DON'T KNOW, I'M ASKING, THEY'RE
ASKING.
TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME, BUT IT IS USUALLY THE
REPUBLICANS, THE RIGHT WING, AND
THEY GET TO RUN ROUGHSHOD.
YOU SAY POTATO, I'LL SAY PO-TAH-TO.
YOU SAY THANKS OBAMA, I'LL SAY I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS A FEMALE OR
A MALE IN THE ROOM WITH HIM.
WHY DID SOMEBODY HOLD A PILLOW OVER
HIS HEAD?
IT COULD HAVE BEEN A SEX GAME.
THERE ARE RUMORS
FLOATING AROUND THAT IT COULD BE
A CIA DART.
WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS?
YOU HAVE CIA DART,
I HAVE DILDOS IN THE ROOM.
NONSENSE.
IF YOU HAVE REAL
INFORMATION, THAT IS SOMETHING
ELSE.
THE PILLOW OVER HIS HEAD, SOME PEOPLE SLEEP ON THE SIDE
WITH A PILLOW ON THEIR HEAD SO
THEY DON'T GET SUNLIGHT -- WHO KNOWS.
I DON'T KNOW.
IF YOU HAD
REAL EVIDENCE, YOU TALK ABOUT
EVIDENCE -- IF YOU DON'T HAVE EVIDENCE, YOU ARE FULL OF CRAP.
UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE.
AND BY THE WAY, FOR GOD'S SAKE,
DON'T BE STUPID.
WE ARE NOT SAYING THERE WAS SOMEBODY ELSE
IN THE ROOM.
WE ARE TRYING TO
PROVE HOW RIDICULOUS THE OTHER SIDE IS.