If she acts like a child
treat her like a child.
Okay, in another video I shared
why women act childish in relationships,
how to handle it, and when to walk away.
In this video, I'll provide a few tips
on why people men and women
often unconsciously
sabotage their relationships
and how women's emotionality triggers them.
If you're new to my channel
I help men decode women
so you can find, attract, and keep your keeper
or simply have better relationships with women.
Welcome to just the tip.
Okay, the truth is
people often sabotage their relationships
because intuitively
they believe the people closest to them
are likely to put up with them
and continue loving them.
Or they unconsciously test them
to see if they do love them enough
to stick around.
Sometimes deep inside
you don't feel worthy and believe
they'll eventually leave you.
So, you beat them to the punch
by rejecting them first,
pushing them away way,
or behaving so horribly.
They have no other sane choice than to leave you.
As I mentioned in the other video,
I'll link at the end.
Women often act childish if
when they were a child they were spoiled
or neglected, abused, or abandoned.
And something happens now
that triggers that emotional memory
from before.
Ultimately, when a woman overreacts
it's usually because she's emotionally scared
however, that doesn't mean
you should accept bad behavior,
heck no.
We teach people how to treat us.
You teach her how to treat you.
Just like with children
the longer you allow her
to get away with bad behavior
the more entrenched the behavior becomes.
And just like with children,
she'll continue to push the limits
also known as test your boundaries
until you say stop and mean it.
Key point, if you continue
to let her get away with bad behavior
it becomes a habit
and eventually a personality
with a defined identity,
which is far more difficult to change.
That's why it's absolutely critical.
You nip disrespect of any kind
in the bud from the get-go.
You must have standards
from the very beginning
and you must express the expectations
those standards require.
And then key point,
the very first time, very first time
she disrespects you or crosses a boundary
intentionally or not
you must calmly
but firmly express how you feel about it
and the consequences if it happens again.
Example, she's snippy
about you being late
from an important work meeting
you already told her could run late.
She texts you, I'm not waiting any longer.
You reply please don't,
I'm running late as expected
let's reschedule.
Her passive aggressive doesn't reply.
You do not chase her.
When you are caught up
with your work you message her,
how's your Friday night?
You're not affected by her boat of crankiness
and give her the opportunity
to move past it.
If she continues to ignore you
or act passive aggressively, you address it.
You do not have to express rage
to be effective.
You don't have to yell, belittle,
beg, jump through hoops.
In fact, you will be far more effective
if you can maintain
a strong calm masculine frame.
If she's mature
she'll be flexible and let it go.
If she's immature
or scheduled plans are important to her
she should be willing to discuss win-win solutions.
Example, you haven't heard from her
since the canceled planed situation.
You might say or text
are you still bothered by the other day?
Let's talk.
She either continues to be a pouty princess
or appreciates you
wanting to be a team player.
If she continues to pout
do not chase her
wait for her to come to you and then discuss it.
Do not sweep it under the rug.
Don't reward bad behavior
by simping or ignoring it.
You must address what's not working
or nothing will change.
She acts like a bad kid
you act like a good dad.
However, unlike a good dad
your mindset is
if the unacceptable behavior continues
beyond a reasonable relearning curve
you are willing to walk away.
Example, she continues to punish you in aggressive
or passive aggressive ways
without being willing to discuss the situation
you by text, call or in person
we need to talk.
Key point, the rest of this discussion
must only happen in person
or it will be misinterpreted
and it will be frustrating.
You might say, you're an amazing woman
let's figure out how to get both our needs met
instead of ignoring what's not working.
I love spending time with you
and I want us to work out.
Uh, interesting.
You're subtly implying there's a chance
it won't work out
if something doesn't change.
Women mirror your feelings about you.
You must respect your self
for her to be able to respect and trust you
as a man.
If you handle her bad behavior effectively
you won't have to give ultimatums.
She will know.
Key point,
you'll maintain your masculine power
and be more effective
when she intuitively understands
the unspoken ultimatum
the standards you won't compromise on.
Key point,
even if you do everything
right on your end
she may not be mature enough
to meet your standards
as far as emotional maturity goes.
If she was a spoiled brat
coming into the relationship
because she was spoiled growing up
or because you let her
get away with acting spoiled
it will be extremely difficult for her to change
even if she wants to
and you'll have to decide
if you want to deal with her reactions
when you confront her
each time about her behavior
because she will likely overreact
and automatically try to use what's worked before
to maintain the status quo.
Harsh reality,
you taught her the status quo
by what you allowed.
The other option is that you don't take the risk
to change what's not working
and instead, learn to accept
your sucking situation.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
If you use firm but gentle guidance
and communication
and she can't or won't
make an effort to change her bad behavior
and you're not married
don't have children together
and are not in danger of her
you will get over her
and be happier walking away
I promise you.
Though, key point,
you will also need to figure out
why you let her treat you that way.
Because if you don't figure that out
your next relationship
will look remarkably similar.
Hint, if you go for damsels in distress
or emotionally damaged high-maintenance women
it's likely because of your childhood trauma
or relationships with your parents
or primary caregivers
especially early on.
More on that in a minute.
Okay, so, what if she's not actually spoiled?
Maybe she's hurt, angry, or afraid
because something you did
triggered something from her past.
Whether it was intentional
or you were completely innocent and oblivious.
All right, again you treat her like a child
the way you would have wanted
to have been treated
when you were hurt, angry, or scared as a child.
Later when the danger zone has passed
and clearer heads prevail
you can talk about what her inner child needs
in those situations,
but that's not the question to ask
in the heat of the moment.
She's not in her right mind,
she's not in her frontal cortex.
She's like over in the limbic system.
Remember, it took a long time
for her to become who she is.
Just like you it'll take some time
for her to change bad habits.
You have bad relationship habits as well
that took a lot of time to become automatic.
It'll take time for you to change
your unhealthy relationship habits and patterns.
Approach the situation
the way you would want to be approached
with love, patience,
and a desire to understand.
You can both commit to relationship growth
while respecting each other's
standards and boundaries.
Key point,
negotiation and compromise
is a part of any healthy relationship.
All right, the best way
to handle conflict with a woman
is by using the love sammich approach.
You're likely not going to use it
in the heat of the moment
because even though you may be rational
if the roles were reversed
she has her own unique experiences
and she's a woman
and women are...
Right, emotional creatures.
We are ladies.
If you haven't watched my more detailed video
on why women act immature in relationships
and how to handle it
you may want to watch that next.
The link will be coming up.
And if you find you’re constantly
getting tested by women
you'll find value in my videos
on why women test men.
You might be surprised.
And how to handle her tests effectively
you might be even more surprised.
If you found this video valuable
please give it a thumbs up and share it.
My video on
how to handle conflict with an angry woman
using the love sammich approach
will give you the framework
for how to deal with most heated situations
while also providing a three-step process
for how to ask for what you need
and desire in the relationship.
In fact, it'll give you more of what you need
and desire in all your relationships
whether romantic or platonic.
Thanks for being here
lots of love you got this, God bless.