From multiple identities to disappearing pineapples,
SpongeBob is filled with inconsistencies
and contradictions.
[Sandy] And you'll need a water helmet.
What is the truth?
Is everything in this world alive?
Mr. Krabs, I am so confused.
We are searching for answers in SpongeBob Contradictions.
Number one:
Seriously, folks, the only thing dumber
than a squirrel is a sponge.
[whispering]
I mean, we're so dumb, we don't even have a vertebrate.
[laughing]
Look at me. I got no bones.
[laughing]
That's true. [laughing]
Your butt's all better. It's really quite amazing.
It took 20 hours to put it all back together.
We actually ran out of staples and had to use a glue stick.
Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, luck boy.
Wait a second. I thought sponges don't have bones.
Which is it: bones or no bones?
[screaming]
Bones... or no bones?
What is really going on inside that square body?
[cooing]
Number two: Will the real Old Man Jenkins
please stand up?
Old Man Jenkins? But I love Old Man Jenkins.
He always has old and interesting smells.
And his bones make such a funny noises.
Let's see. I skipped merrily to the Krusty Krab,
said hello to Old Man Jenkins. Hi, Mr. J.
Where's Old Man Jenkins?
[belching]
What did I miss?
Hey, you!
Top of the morning, Oldster.
Hey, I saw you on last night.
New Bran Flakes.
Bold new taste, Bran Flakes.
You did?
Yeah. You were on a commercial.
You're right. Wow. He recognized me.
Yep. See you later, Bran Flakes.
All of these gentlemen claim to be Old Man Jenkins.
Is it possible they are all Old Man Jenkins?
Am I Old Man Jenkins?
Oh. Pardon me, young lady.
What a fox.
Number three:
I tried to tell you.
We gotta get outta here!
You're doing it wrong.
Wait. No. We've got to get out.
Come and get it. You're all going to like this-
[shrieking]
There, that oughta do it.
If y'all needed water, you should've asked.
[screaming]
Sandy said these wouldn't hatch for... weeks. What is going on?
Oh! Patrick?
SpongeBob, there you are.
Oh, what a relief.
I thought you were a horrible mutant worm
who was about to soak me with digestive juices
and slowly consume me over a period of weeks.
Uh, no thanks. I had a late breakfast.
Why you wearing that funny thing on your head?
Well, 'cause we can't breathe in Sandy's treedome, 'member?
It's filled with air.
SpongeBob, quick, put on a helmet or I guess not.
Since Sandy's treedome is filld with air instead of water,
all water breathers need to be wearing a water helmet.
I remember that being a pretty big deal.
You even done got me a vase.
But, Sandy, that- that's not a-
Ain't that purdy?
Sandy, I need wa-
Oh, that's right. Yous a sea critter.
Now what was that thing sea critters need?
Um, let's see sea critters need, uh-
- Wa- - Oh, wait.
Don't tell me. I know this one.
- Wa- - A wallet. A watch.
Waffles.
Sandy, water.
Well, why didn't you just say so?
Here ya go.
Yep, us squirrels, sure is stupid.
- Dumb, dumb, dumb. - Sandy.
Squirrels is dumb.
Sandy. Okay, Sandy, I get it.
In this clip, he's only able to go seconds
without his helmet.
[ticking]
[record scratching]
But now watch this one.
[record scratching]
Wow. Did he develop a way to breathe air?
Is he evolving?
Here ya go.
[gasping] Ah.
Number four:
Listen to Squidward playing clarinet in season one.
Pretty good.
[chuckling]
How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?
[laughing]
Yep, I'm insane.
So what happened between then and Band Geeks?
[doorbell ringing]
Yeah, uh, we're with the pet hospital
down the street, and I understand
you have a dying animal on the premises.
Is Squidward good or bad at clarinet?
Finally, someone actually appreciates my brilliance.
I will play for you, my tiny cyclops.
I will play such that Neptune himself
will hear me upon his very throne.
Or whatever chair he's sitting on.
Uh-oh. I mean, goody.
Maybe the Bikini Bottomites just don't appreciate
musical talent.
Uh! Oh, it's terrible!
Bravo!
No. No, make it stop.
[clarinet playing]
- Hey! - Would you stop it!
Maybe the only ones with an acquired taste
for Squidward's music are the cultured elite jellyfish.
Squidward, yeah! Yeah, Squidward!
[whistling]
Number five: What is going on with SpongeBob's house?
It's constantly changing
and sometimes disappearing entirely.
Oh, sure, right. Whatever.
Take, for example, the library from season one.
It's called The Ugly Barnacle.
Once there was an ugly barnacle.
He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.
What happened to it?
Okay, maybe SpongeBob got tired of books
and decided to get rid of it,
but it then comes back many seasons later.
What's in the secret room?
It's not a secret room, Patrick. It's my library.
Wh- What's that word mean?
A library is a playground for your mind.
And Patrick seems to forget about all the time
he spent in there?
[music playing]
And what about the gym SpongeBob uses in episode one?
[grunting]
It just disappears 'til way later?
Does it just sit there unused? Actually, yeah.
That one makes sense.
[squeaking]
[grunting]
[snoring]
[grunting]
[ripping]
[gasping]