Intimacy coach Zoë Kors compares kissing to dancing. And, just as there are different
types of dances for different songs, different kisses can mean different things. Are you
curious to know what the most common kisses signify? We've got you covered. Here's what
the experts have to say.
We are all quite familiar with the familial platonic kiss on the cheek. You know, the
kind your mom or grandma plants on the side of your face. Obviously, there's no romantic
element behind these sorts of smooches.
However, platonic kisses can also find their way into romantic relationships, which isn’t
necessarily a bad thing.
"Is that all?"
If you often find yourself at the receiving end of your partner's platonic kisses, Carolyn
Finch, a communication expert, told Cosmopolitan this could actually be a paternal gesture
that shows that your man wants to take care of you.
Much like a kiss on the cheek, an angel kiss is not hot and heavy, but it's not platonic
either. Patti Wood, body language expert and author, explained that this kiss involves
lightly touching your partner's eyes with your lips, and it’s definitely a loving
and intimate gesture. In her experience, Wood noted that women are huge fans of this kiss.
She wrote,
"Men, just to let you know, a woman feels especially cherished when you gently and loving
give an angel kiss."
This sort of kiss is thought to stem from what the Inuit call a kunik, and it's actually
more about smell than touch. David Joanasie, an information officer of Inuit Tapiriit Kanatami,
explained that kuniks call for sniffing and rubbing a person's face with your nose, this
is because there are scent glands in our cheeks.
Although this kiss is more affectionate than romantic, Joanasie said it's not something
he would do in front of others.
"Just say: shut it down."
Did you know that you can decipher some important information about your partner from something
as simple as a butterfly kiss? Dating guru Katia Loisel explained the meaning behind
this unusual kiss, which is kind of a mix between an angel kiss and a kunik where one
person flutters their eyelashes against the others' skin or lashes.
She noted that it indicates trust, tenderness, and emotional intimacy.
On her site, Patti Wood detailed what a surprise kiss entails. Kiss your partner when they
don't expect it, like in the middle of cooking dinner together, or just after you have gotten
in the car. This type of kiss is generally thought of as romantic and lustful. Maryanne
Fisher, a psychology professor, wrote in Psychology Today,
"The media routinely shows us [surprise] kisses where someone simply can't help it...two trains
are on the same track, heading towards each other, and the engineers have checked out."
While it's true that a surprise kiss can be romantic, many feel it is better to ask for
permission as opposed to "stealing" a kiss.
Although you might not think much of a kiss on the forehead, it's meaning is controversial
among experts. Holly Richmond, a psychologist and sex therapist, thinks forehead kisses
are compassionate and atypical, making them more memorable.
However, Terri Orbuch, a couples therapist and professor believes it's not actually a
sweet gesture at all. She told Women’s Health that she sees it as a kiss that supports a
kind of power imbalance in favor of the kisser's side, since it usually happens between someone
older, or more experienced, and someone younger.
"Ew!"
A closed, or closed-mouth, kiss on the lips can mean good things, according to Loisel.
She believes it says, 'I'm really into you and I respect you and I will follow your lead,’
However, timing is super important. Loisel clarified,
"In the early stages of courtship, a closed mouth kiss is used to test the waters and
indicates that he's still respectfully cautious."
However, she noted that if closed-mouth kissing becomes the predominant form of kissing in
a long term relationship, this could indicate that the relationship needs some work.
"Okay, this is too slow."
Although the open-mouth kiss doesn't get as much recognition as its French cousin, it
still indicates heavy attraction! In the case of an open-mouth kiss, tongue is optional.
Oftentimes, though, one without tongue will lead to one with tongue.
Sex therapist Vanessa Marin recommended starting a make-out session with this kind of kiss.
Yes, keep that tongue out of the picture, at least for now! Marin advised transitioning
back and forth between closed- and open-mouth kissing.
The French kiss may be super well-known, but do you know how it got its name? According
to Public Radio International, French kissing got its name in the early 1900s because, at
the time, the French had a reputation for more adventurous sexual practices. Despite
not having a label for it, the French, and people from other parts of the world, have
embraced this smooching style.
Chris Donaghue, a clinical psychologist and sexologist, told Glamour that by French kissing
with someone, you're saying "I have passion for you. I want to connect deeper. I want
to build intimacy with you."
Biting isn’t just for vampires! Holly Richmond told Cosmopolitan that kissing with an ample
side of biting can be titillating. However, it's something you'll want to approach slowly,
start small, and only build up once you have confirmation that your partner is into it.
"Drink it up."
Jane Greer, a marriage and sex therapist, told Women's Health,
"It's a way of saying how much you desire your partner, you're literally eating him
up."
Just as Richmond advised, Greer recommended a gentle approach. This way, your partner
will experience biting as positive and playful and not, you know, terrifying.
"I said stop!"
The neck is really sensitive, and a kiss here can indicate more exciting things to come.
Not only is the neck a sensitive area, it's also quite literally a vulnerable one as this
is the home of the ever important carotid artery.
A collarbone kiss, on the other hand, implies intimacy and manifests a certain degree of
erotic intention in the giver, according to Mabel Iam, a psychotherapist and relationship
expert. Although it doesn't require quite the same vulnerability, it's still a very
effective seductive gesture.
If you're wondering if a kiss on the top of the head is a sweet gesture, well, we'll be
honest with you: it depends. Kissing on the head or hair is a nurturing and intimate gesture
that indicates someone is there for you. It sounds nice, but it might also be a red flag
in a romantic relationship.
Wood noted on her site that a top-of-the-head smooch can indicate an emotional bond. However,
if you're only getting kisses atop the head from your special other, it might mean he's
begun to think of you more like a little sibling rather than a romantic partner. Yikes!
If your partner leans over to kiss your shoulder, that's a good sign, according to Loisel. It
signals both emotional and physical intimacy, without uttering a word, a kiss on the shoulder
speaks volumes.
Prior to the 2018 season finale of The Bachelorette, Lillian Glass, a body language expert and
communications consultant, correctly predicted that Becca Kufrin would choose Garrett based
solely on their body language. After observing Becca's interactions, including a shoulder
smooch with Garrett, Glass had a feeling he'd be the winner. Those shoulder kisses really
did tell all.
Kissing doesn't have to be confined to just one part of the body! If your partner is into
whole body, or full body, kisses (where they kiss multiple places on your body), it says
good things about your relationship.
Bennett told Popsugar more about what these kisses mean, saying,
"Your partner wants to be deeply intimate with you...and is quite content to spend time
familiarizing themselves with every inch of your skin."
Hubba hubba!
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