Marriage can be an amazing thing
but you have to be mindful of
what you need to do
to make it all that it can be.
Keep watching and I'll explain why.
(Music)
Hey, what's up everybody, this is Stephan Speaks
or Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks
here to provide you with
dating, relationship, and even marriage advice.
I'm your certified relationship coach
and I'm all about helping you experience
not just better relationships
but a better life overall.
Now, today we're going to discuss
the three keys to a stronger marriage.
Now, let me make something very clear,
there are a lot of keys to a stronger marriage.
I'm only naming three
but you of course,
can add in the comments below,
what you think are some keys
to a stronger marriage.
There's a lot we can discuss here
and I'm not saying these are
of the highest priority,
but I feel the need to discuss
these specific three and highlight them
and go a little deeper into them for you.
Now, before we get into the video,
as always be sure to subscribe to my channel,
like this video, share it
with all your friends and family
whether they're married or not married
it's going to be a great video for them to watch.
And be sure to also check out my two books.
I got two books for married couples
and really, it's not just for married couples,
it's for anyone who desires
marriage in their life.
So, I have the book for men,
How to Get a Woman to Have Sex With You
If You're Her Husband.
Let me just say
the reason why I ended up writing this book,
it was actually my first book I ever wrote.
I was counseling a lot of couples
and I was speaking to a lot of the husbands
and the husbands were complaining about
a lack of intimacy in the relationship.
And I was noticing the disconnect
between the wife and the husband
as far as discussing these issues
and how to make it better.
So, I decided okay, let me write the book.
Well, not just I decided,
I prayed about it and
God guided me to write the book.
So, I did the book for men
and then a couple years later,
which was recent,
I ended up writing a book for women.
How To Get A Man To Cherish You If You're His Wife.
And again, just breaking down a lot of things
that I feel will be helpful not just to wives
but to any woman who desires to be a wife.
Any woman who's even engaging in relationships
to understand these dynamics
and understand what she has to
become strong in
and what she has to keep at the forefront
and embrace and improve
so that she can strengthen her marriage.
Again, both books are focusing on
what that individual,
the man and the woman
can focus on to make the marriage better.
Because it takes two people
to make a relationship strong,
two people to make it work.
And so, when two people come together
pouring into each other,
that's how we create an amazing marriage,
an amazing relationship,
and not just a happy wife,
but a happy husband as well.
So, let's get into
the three keys to a stronger marriage,
key number one,
a higher amount of quality intimacy.
So, here's what I mean.
Now, notice I said intimacy.
So, we're talking
physical and non-physical intimacy.
The reality is this,
even for those of you who are very spiritual,
who read the bible.
I was reading it was
first Corinthians seven, the other day
and it pretty much was talking about
how the man does not have
authority over his own body
and just as the woman does not have authority
over her own body in marriage.
And that they're not supposed to
deprive each other of
the need for intimacy in their marriage
because the reality is that
intimacy is one of the reasons
we come together in marriage
to avoid the sexual temptation that's out there.
Again, that's coming from scripture,
that's not just coming from my own perspective.
And so, we have to strengthen it
not just for the sake of
pleasuring each other,
but start to look at intimacy
as an opportunity to bond
closer with each other,
bond more with each other.
And again, this is both
physical and non-physical.
So, to be completely honest with you
now listen, it can go either way meaning,
there's women out there wives out there
who are complaining about lack of physical intimacy.
There are men who are complaining about a lack of
physical intimacy.
Same as a man, husband, or wife
complaining about non-physical intimacy.
But for the sake of these next examples,
let's just go with the typical man
who's complaining about
physical, a lack of physical
and the woman who's complaining about
lack of non-physical.
So, for the lack of physical intimacy,
the man is complaining about
or having an issue with.
We can't ignore them.
I've seen so many marriages
allow their intimate life fall to the wayside
and no longer are engaging in these activities
and no longer getting it all into the bedroom
and not making sure that
both parties and I stress both,
are satisfied physically.
So, rather than just
throw it all away and make excuses
we have to make an effort
to improve in that area.
We have to ask what is lacking
and I mentioned those things in the book
How to Get Women To Have Sex With You
If You're His wife, I mean If You're Her Husband.
Some of the things that I want
the men to be mindful of
that help increase physical intimacy in the relationship,
which funny enough one of those things is
non-physical intimacy.
Because I come across a lot of wives
who complain about essentially the man
only wants to touch them or hold them
when they want to get it on in the bedroom.
And you want to feel or she wants to feel
more valued than that.
She doesn't want to just be an individual or a tool
for your intimate pleasures.
So, essentially men have to also learn
how to point into that woman
non-sexually with intimacy.
Talking to her,
sitting and watching TV with her,
cuddled up with her,
these things all help.
But again, you want to
come together as a couple
and discuss what specifically you need.
But with the goal of
improving the intimacy in your marriage.
And again, once the intimacy improves,
the bond between husband and wife
becomes so much stronger.
When you have two people
who truly know how to satisfy each other
in both ways or both aspects of intimacy
and are genuinely pouring into each other
and putting forth that effort,
man you're going to have
an amazing, amazing relationship.
So, do not overlook the need to improve
physical and non-physical intimacy.
Key number two
to a stronger marriage is
better and more effective communication.
So, the reality is that so many people
are talking to each other
but they're not... They don't know how to
properly express themselves to each other.
They don't know how to get their message across
as well as receive their partner's message.
And the breakdown of the communication
in the relationship
causes a breakdown
of the relationship, of the marriage.
I cannot tell you how many people I've coached
who were divorced or going to divorce
and their partner doesn't even have a clear picture
of what was going on,
what was going wrong in the relationship.
Like, it was never fully discussed,
it was never fully explained.
And so, there may be this vague idea
but there's not a true understanding
and that stems from bad
non-effective communication.
So, as a couple
and even when you're not a couple
for anyone who's single out there,
we have to work on our communication skills
as we are regardless of your relationship status.
That is a key component that not only
helps you in relationships and in marriage,
but in business,
with your children, with your friends,
you name it.
So, but let's get back to
being in that relationship,
being in a marriage.
Sit down with each other spend time.
I personally think that
the best thing for a couple to do is
the same way we have date night
or some people engage in date night,
engage in talk night.
What I mean by that is
carving out some time
it doesn't have to be a whole lot of time,
even if it's 30 minutes a week, all right.
Where we sit down, come together
and we discuss things.
And we discuss it's
understanding each other better,
discuss what we need from each other,
kind of checking in as far as
the quality of the relationship
and just a brief check in.
And even if you don't do it once a week,
once a month maybe
it must be a few months.
But I do think starting off,
once a week would be good starting off.
And then it can decrease as
okay, we're just coming back to the table
discussing the same things.
Once we're getting on that better path
and things are getting stronger,
we don't have to always
meet every single week.
But we still want to check in with each other,
discuss things and learn
how to communicate better.
You have to build almost
a chemistry with communication
and a repertoire to where
I know what you want to say
even before you said it.
Like, I'm reading you,
I know how to be in tune with you.
That is going to make
the relationship so much stronger.
So, work on more effective communication
and your marriage will thank you for it.
And then, the last key to a stronger marriage.
And as always before I get to the last key
you know what to do.
One more time, go check out the books,
How To Get A Man To Cherish You If You're His Wife,
How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You If You're Her Husband.
They are amazing books
you're going to enjoy them.
And again,
they're not just for married people,
they're for anyone who desires
marriage in their life,
anyone who's engaging in relationship.
Because again, these principles
are really fundamental to
romantic relationships in general,
though, I'm all about encouraging it
in the concept or in the dynamic of marriage.
I do believe in the power of marriage,
I think we need more of it,
I think it's a beautiful thing.
So, that's where I
focus more of my energy
when I speak about certain topics.
However, it helps everybody.
So, check it out,
click the link in the description,
click the link in the comment section,
get your copy, and tell me all about it.
So, to get to the last key, all right,
the last key is put God first.
Now, if you watch me or
if you follow me on social media
you know God is a very important part of my life
and I believe in the power of putting God first.
And so, I believe that
in marriage, in relationships
we cannot forget that concept.
Too many times we get with an individual
and we put them
on a higher pedestal than God.
We are more focused on them
than we are on God.
Here's the beautiful thing of putting God first
when you're in marriage.
The way that I look at it, the way that
I encourage you to look at it is
essentially, if I'm focused on
just my partner
now, I'm more easily swayed by their actions.
They don't do something here,
they do the wrong thing there
I'm going to react to them.
But when God is at the forefront,
I'm not reacting to them,
I'm letting God guide me to the situation.
So, now, even when your partner
doesn't do it the way you want to,
rather than react, you pray.
Rather than go off, you take a step back
and you ask yourself okay,
what does God want me to do in this situation?
And your willingness to put forth
a great effort in that marriage,
stems from honoring God
blessing you with that marriage.
Like for me it's like, if God blessed me
with this partner that I can share my life with,
then I want to honor Him
by doing my best in it, all right.
But when we become so fixated on our partner
and we bring God down a few notches,
we now fall off the path
of doing the things that we're supposed to do
to make things better and stronger.
Not to mention that praying
and that you can add this as 3 a) key
to make your marriage stronger.
Praying together is a beautiful thing.
And again, I believe that
when God is first in your marriage
then it heightens the understanding or
the awareness for the need of
prayer and praying together.
It's a beautiful thing and it's also another way
to bond, it's another form
of non-physical intimacy
that you're going to benefit from greatly.
So, do not overlook that.
Now, again, I just gave you three,
there's a lot more we can talk about.
But go ahead comment below,
tell me what you feel
are some of the keys to a stronger marriage.
Tell me your opinions on some of
the things that I spoke about today.
Also, be sure to like the video,
subscribe to my channel, share it.
And get your copy of the books.
And again, I'm happy that
you watch these videos,
I hope you're finding it helpful
and I'm looking forward to seeing you in the next one.
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