What are the 12 stages of intimacy
and why is it critical that you do them in order?
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So, the 12 stages of intimacy
are basically the progress
that will take you from attraction
to the ultimate end in seduction,
which is of course intercourse.
So, if you get these out of order
then you will either not get to the endgame goal
or it will be really awkward and it will take longer.
So, it's really important that you
do each of these stages in its order.
Now, that doesn't mean that you have to
take forever doing each of these stages,
you can actually move through the stages quickly
if you're doing them in order.
There is one stage that will take a little bit longer
depending on the intention
of the relationship that you're looking for.
So, if you're looking for a hookup
it's going to be a lot quicker
and if you're looking for a long-term
committed relationship with someone that
you want to spend the rest of your life with
that particular stage is going to take a little longer.
So, what are the 12 stages of intimacy?
So, of course the first stage is
eye to body.
So, what that basically is,
is you are noticing someone
that is attractive to you.
So, you see them and
the way they look is attractive to you.
That brings us straight into the stage number two,
is eye-to-eye.
So, that's when they see you back
and they also share an attraction with you.
So, it's either obvious or you might have
to look a little longer
or look a little deeper or
gauge a little better
but there is some sense
of a mutual attraction
based on eye contact. And it could be
the way she's looking at you with her eyes
or that she holds her eye contact with you.
Or that she looks back at you several times
but you'll get the sense that
there is mutual attraction based on
eye to eye contact.
And then the third stage is
voice to voice.
So, it doesn't have to actually be
communication via words like
you can have an actual verbal communication
or conversation with the person
or it could be via text or I am
or on a dating site or
any kind of message that uses words.
So, whether it's written word or verbalize words,
you sharing words.
And this is the stage that
can take the longest depending on
what your intention of the relationship is.
So, if you're looking for a short-term quick hookup
you're going to advance through the verbal communication,
communicado in order to get
down to your commando
and be able to have sexual intimacy
with that person quicker.
Now, if you of course are looking for a
longer-term relationship
or you think you might be
then this is a stage that might take longer
before getting to the next stage.
And a side note here is that
if you are looking for something that's more serious
you are better off,
I know lots of people will tell you differently
but you are better off
to get to know the person a little bit
before getting sexual.
Because if you get sexual first
and that's amazing,
then you're going to ignore the red flags
that you otherwise might not.
So, just be careful about that
because if you have great ***
if you advance the next stages really quickly,
which you can do
but if that's not the right person
for you long term,
you may get sucked in
because of that
great connection you have in the bedroom
but that doesn't mean that
there's actual compatibility.
Sexual chemistry does not equal compatibility.
So, remember that.
So, that is voice to voice
so then the next stage of intimacy is
hand to hand.
So, this is where you're going to graze her hand
or even hold her hand.
So, depending on what the signs are
as far as her reacting to
how you're handling the situation,
will determine how quickly you can move
into straight hand holding
or just kind of testing the waters.
And her reaction will tell you
a lot about whether or not it's okay to do that.
If you're at all unsure
then you can say,
is this okay?
If she lets you hold her hand
but you're not sure just say is this okay?
And if she is really okay with it
then she'll be like yeah, okay, yeah.
Yeah, definitely you know.
But it's also a good way of you
getting express consent.
Because anytime
that you're going for physical contact
nowadays it's really important that you get
express consent not even just
applied consent, which is kind of like
oh, well, it seemed like she gave me consent.
No, you actually have to get consent nowadays.
So, that's the next one is hand to hand.
And the next one after that
is hand to shoulder.
So, you're going to either touch her on the shoulder
or squeeze her shoulder put your
arm around her shoulder
and kind of squeeze her in toward you.
So, it's more intimate and personal
and you're also kind of
showing the world making a
public acknowledgment that this is,
this sort of your person
even if it's just for the night.
So, that's the next step, is hand to shoulder.
And then the next step from there
is actually hand to waist.
This is when you're going to actually touch her waist
you'll put your arm around her waist
or hold her waist.
The midsection is a vulnerable area.
So, you know that if you go up to somebody
and just touch them in their on their waist
if someone did that to you
let's say just a guy comes up and does that to you,
you're going to be like whoa, dude, you know.
So, that is why these stages
have to be done in a proper order
in order for them to be
most effective and not feel weird
and for the woman to feel safe.
It's a woman's primary need to feel safe.
So, she does want to feel
you know, sense of danger
but she wants to feel safe with you.
This can also look like giving her a hug.
Either from behind or in front
you know you're hugging her so it's
your arms around her body.
And then the next one from that is
mouth to mouth.
Now, we're not talking CPR here,
we're talking you're going to kiss her.
So, if all of that is okay
and she's feeling comfortable with that
and giving you signs that, that's okay
then the next stage is mouth to mouth.
So, you're going to kiss her and
you're actually going to be surprised
because the next stage might seem
like you should do it first
but you should actually do it after
you've already kissed her once.
If you're really certain
you maybe are able to switch these two up.
So, the very next one is
hand to head, so hand to face.
So, you're... It's like to
you know, touching her hair,
caressing her face,
holding her face like,
women love it when you do this.
And the reason why that is
more intimate than actually kissing someone
is because again, by kissing
you're getting reciprocation
it's very clear if you're getting reciprocation.
Whereas when you're touching someone
that's not a reciprocal action
and you're touching someone
in a vulnerable place.
Like again, if somebody came up to you
and just touched your face...
Of course, if someone came up to you
and just kissed you, you'll be like whoa!
But it's also higher level
of vulnerability by touching
anywhere on the head you know.
If you hold your...
Women also love it when you do this
when you sort of put
your hand around the back of their neck
and kiss them
or you know that sort of thing.
It's really, really a major turn-on
but it has to be done in the right sequence
otherwise it feels weird.
And I actually had a guy touch my face once
and it was out of sequence I realized later.
I mean why was that so creepy because I,
it totally took me off guard
and I was instantly turned off
and did not ever see him again.
But that was because it was out of sequence
and there wasn't any express or
applied what's another word?
Or even assumed consent in there.
So, that's the next one is
hand to head.
And then the next one from there
this is where you can now
like, start advancing fairly quickly
if you're looking for sexual escalation.
So, it's hand to body.
So, you're basically you know, I don't know
what'd they call it in the old days, first base?
Like, you're basically touching everywhere
except for the goody zone, which is like
the genital area.
So, if you're touching her body
then that's the next stage
and then the next stage after that
is actually mouth to body.
So, this is where you can now
start kissing her on the body.
We could start up where
you know, she's comfortable
you've already kissed her.
So, then you can start working your way down
on her neck, on her shoulders, on her back,
you can kiss her on the
decolletage I didn't even say that right.
In her chest area, her tummy,
her feet, whatever,
except for again, the genital area.
So, you guys still can't go there just yet
I know you want to,
but and you'll get there.
And if you're just looking for ***
or even if you aren't just looking for ***
but you've advanced already through multiple
times of communication or you've
just gotten to know each other well enough that
you know that you want to have
relationship with each other,
you can advance at this stage fairly quickly
into the next categories
if you do it in the right stages
in the right order.
So, then once you go from
mouth to body
then the next thing is actually hand to body.
So, this is where you get to touch the goodies
and so then that's obviously
a lot more personal and
this could also include ***.
Hope I don't get in trouble
for saying that on YouTube
but that is included in that.
And then from there you're going to
the final stage, which is intercourse.
And again, even along
all of these physical stages
you need to be asking the woman
for her consent.
Is this okay?
Does this feel good?
Those are not going to be turn offs.
To say to a woman
does this feel good? Do you like this?
Are you okay with this?
She's going to say yes, yes, yes,
if she's like into it for sure yes, yes, yes.
And she's going to not only
appreciate that you're asking her
and appreciate that you're respecting her
but the way you say it
can also be a turn-on.
So, if you're saying it
in a really sultry and seductive way
then it can actually enhance her arousal
while at the same time protecting you
it's going to feel awkward,
she's not going to feel safe,
she's going to want to go slower
so that you can go back and do the steps properly.
But if you do these in order
then you will get to
the end result that you're looking for.
And if at any point in time, remember this.
If at any point in time
she says no, or stop
or not right now or I'm not ready,
you have to listen to that
because otherwise you could be in big trouble.
And you won't get what you want with her
or possibly with anyone because you'll be in jail
getting it from some dude
and that's no fun.
Unless that's your thing,
which means you shouldn't be on my channel.
Anyway, okay so I hope that helped.
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Thanks a lot for being here
and go forth and frolic
and be successful.
Yeah.