A couple days ago I was hanging out with folks at someone's house and the hostess asked if
I wanted a glass of wine to which I said no thanks. You would think based on the look
of horror and disgust that descended on her face that I had instead said, 'No thanks I'm
exclusively drinking cat urine these days so if you have some, fill 'er up!'
This week's Ask Cristen question is one that I've actually gotten from a number of people
but I'm going to read you the exact question from Stuart Smiles who is a frequent Ask Cristen
commenter. Hello Stuart. 'Could you do a video on in parentheses young people who don't drink
alcohol? I find that I'm often excluded/not invited from or to events because I don't
drink alcohol.' Disclaimer, I do drink alcohol. According to the Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention, 51.3% of US adults over the age of 18 consider themselves frequent drinkers.
Just under 13% consider themselves infrequent drinkers. It's even more pronounced especially
if you're on a college campus. According to the National Institute of Alcohol and Alcohol
Abuse, 80% of college students say that they drink and over half of them say that they
have binge-drinked, binge-drank, binge-drunk in the past two weeks. When it comes to that
sense of social isolation and exclusion that Stuart and other Stuff Mom Never Told You
fans who have asked me to talk about this have experienced, there was a study that came
out in 2012 that confirmed this. The study found a correlation between college binge-drinking
and social status. If you don't drink there is a greater likelihood of you being excluded
from social functions. The study authors propose that this strong link between social status
on college campuses and drinking that happens within college communities is a big reason
why college drinking is so hard for schools to tackle. It's our pathway to socialization
and the thing about it is that that doesn't stop when you leave college, that if anything
lays the foundation for that to continue. There was one phrase that jumped out in another
college alcohol study that I was reading that immediately took all of the potential glamor
out of drinking. 'Coping and conformity', that was, that was their nutshell explanation
for why college students and just people in general drink. We think that it relieves our
stress and sometimes yeah a glass of wine totally calms me down and also conformity,
it's our way of fitting in. But that phrase makes it sound so genuinely uncool. Here's
the thing for people who do drink when it comes to people who don't drink. It's all
about choices and respecting choices. Let's say you're going to a giant pizza party and
someone shows up and is like hey, I'd like to hang out but I'm just not a fan of pizza,
I'm not going to be eating any pizza. It's totally fine, ate before I came. Your initial
reaction might be, 'How could a person not like pizza?!' Your probably not going to ask
Peter whether his dad had a problem with pizza or whether you know Peter's pregnant. If Peter
is just really judgmental of other people who eat pizza. Chances are you'll come around
at some point to say, 'You know what? You know what, that's just Peter.' But what about
advice for people like Stuart who don't drink, have no desire to drink and also want a social
life? This is where I think it's important to look for activities, gatherings of human
beings, that don't center around alcohol. If you are in college, look for those interest
groups. Volunteering can be your best friend. Take an improv class, that's something that
I did and yeah after improv class did a lot of people usually go out to the bar afterwards?
Yes but not everybody drank. If you're cornered at a party by that inevitable drunk person
who won't take no for an answer when you don't want to drink, it's good in that situation
to have your own drink with you, probably pour your can of coke or whatever soda you
prefer into a party cup. That way it's not immediately obvious. If someone asks come
on, don't you want to have fun? Maybe a good response would be, 'Have you ever had fun
when you're not drunk?' If they say no, that's just said and you can walk away and if they
say yes, your point will have been made. Ultimately if someone's not going to invite you out or
be friends with you because you don't drink, that's not a friend that you want in the first
place. That's just a drinking buddy. Now it's time to hear from you, where my non-drinkers
at and what do you do, what's your advice? Let me know in the comments below and be sure
to ask me your questions so I can give you some answers. Thanks to everybody who watched
and commented on last week's Ask Cristen video 'My Boyfriend Gave Me an STD'. Here's what
you all had to say. Tab Vlogs commented, 'I remember thinking in middle school during
our "sex ed talk" that if I ever caught an STD or STI that I would be ruined for life.
I get trying to show kids it's serious but it shouldn't make them feel like life or death
like I did and I'm sure other kids do as well.' Mary's Test Kitchen commented, 'An STD is
just a disease. Like the flu. It doesn't make someone a bad person. Some are even "hidden"
in the body for years so a person may not even know they have one and pass it on in
the space of a serious, committed relationship. Please don't judge others if you hear they
have an STD or if your friend shares their "secret" with you.' Finally Anthropomorphosis
said, 'I think it's important to have a frank conversation with your partner about sex in
general, not only STDs. There is nothing embarrassing about protecting you and your partner's health.
I think it's incredibly romantic.' I love that. Getting tested is romantic. Keep your
comments coming and stay terrific.