with me standing there in the doorway i watched my father punch my mother
so hard that she spit up blood that moment probably more than any other moment in my life
what's going on everybody schuyler diehm here men's lifestyle fat loss coach
and today we are breaking down episode 5 of will smith series best shape of my life if you're
catching up we've got all the other episodes in the description of this video and we've also got
uh basically a recap real quick right here is that will smith gained a bunch of weight last year
and it was for a movie role and then quarantine hit he couldn't lose it so
this is a documentary of him trying to lose 20 pounds in 20 weeks and i'm not too happy with
how he's doing it but that's all right with that being said let's get into the episode
i don't want to do any of this we blew it we missed it it's over and we got to stop
and i'm ready to stop i'm finished with the best shape of my life no you're not
in 2017 i was on the jury at the cannes film festival it was day five and we'd already watched
14 movies with one more movie to watch before dinner i needed a beat to be quiet and reset
i had 30 minutes to hit the gym before rejoining the jury i had told myself that this was my time
for me and i had promised myself that i would not allow anyone to infringe on it midway through
my second set a 30-something black dude with a british accent entered and immediately noticed me
he whipped out his phone as he approached hey will he said say hi to my cousin i reached up putting
my hand over the lens of his camera and pushed it down hey sorry man i said i'm training right now
oh it's just a quick video will he said my cousin has down syndrome
he loves you i promise it'll be quick the fresh prince is the only thing that makes him smile
i'm sorry man i said but no wow he looked at me with such disbelief but why not well i paused
i searched for the deepest most honest answer because i don't want to the man shook his head
and disgust turned and left the gym i knew i had done right by myself but i hated that someone else
and innocent had gotten caught in the crossfire of my internal war
i went back to my room dude this book is gonna be so good
are you ready jazz yeah
that's a nice hotel man
test test test so dex is here now dex and jazz and just not everybody knows i'm saying it officially
i know i know this one's me this is for my book i'm at a calorie deficit and i'm in here crying
every day writing a book right so um i might not all the way be myself right now but what
is the deal over the next eight weeks stuff so is it so this is the shoot and yeah yeah no no
we're gonna well no we're gonna i'm gonna worry about that i'm gonna put some regular clothes on
so uh we'll let us in and has agreed to shoot but um
some executives here from the production company so i guess we'll uh see how this plays out
when you're trying to drop weight and you're trying to be at a deficit and you're trying
to write your memoir at the same time it's everything you have yeah right and and a deadline
right i'm doing something that's important to me right now leave me alone i want to make art
and i want to create like don't tell me about the schedule i don't want the show or something like
that mindset is disruptive to me in the creative process the journey itself of my actual
transformation and the show have somehow gotten out of sync i think anytime that you're embarking
on a jenny of this sort it's about transformation right it's like i lost my guys a little bit
and they became company men i think when we talked i feel like we talked on december 26
or whatever you thought the show will keep me accountable for the journey right yeah it's like
i'm not trying to make a show i'm trying to do what i'm doing shoot it and you make a show right
the budget the deadline they'll get what we give them
that's real man i respect that i really do right less about the creation i talked about this in
my previous video it's less about the content creation and the entertainment and appearing on
camera right because i was kind of thinking like a lot of this seems like it's for the cameras
it feels it feels like they're making this more difficult than it has to be for the cameras in the
entertainment aspect so i guess they were i don't know if it was intentionally or just happened
and then now will kind of hit his breaking point of like no i can do this i just don't want to make
it into this extravagant thing will is really in a very real way committing to the idea that he
cannot sacrifice his mental health in the name of these other sorts of journeys that he writes
because let me tell you on mental health there's not as many second jobs yeah
priority number one 12 13 14 15 16 weeks 16 weeks right so that's that's supposed to be roughly 205
i'm not gonna be 205 no you're not and the thing that i'm trying to do also is to not tap
into my old mindset because i can do anything when i you know tap into that soldier right so
it's not about the yeah harsh energy yeah a more sustainable mindset yeah two a days and running
and calorie deficit is not the same we'll go with the 205.4 give me a little cushion for next week
he's looking good though man build some muscle burn some fat
hey well uh reminder we never got those chapters over to the publishers last week call me back when
there's a funny thing with deadlines right so artists need deadlines and need budgetary confines
to get jammed into the work like i needed the deadline to be looming in order to force me to
dive into those areas of myself that i've been avoiding for my whole life basically
so in the book i have a real button on people getting lost in their emotions
i hate it like it signals destruction to me right somebody is
you know freaking out and even daddy would crack us for that [ __ ] growing up
oh my god dad we were raised at base survival yeah even when we were you right it wasn't yeah
mentality death mentality was based survival um so this is the this is the pivot point right
and i can't even think about the damn thing without being like nah but it really it is the
it's the center of um every difficulty of my adult life
we all delude ourselves a little bit around the things that scare us we invent these stories to
protect ourselves sometimes we'd rather blindfold ourselves than take a cold hard look at the world
exactly as it is my first impulse is always to clean up the truth in my mind i redesign it and
replace it with whatever suits me or really whatever suits you i'm a crowd pleaser i'm
a master storyteller i thought about showing you the flawless diamond a swaggy unbreakable winner
a fantasy image of a successful human being the truth is whatever i decide to make you believe
and i will make you believe it that's what i do of course there's the red carpet walking
tight fade wearing box office record-breaking i am legend pull-up doing jiggy ass will smith
and then there's me this book is about me act one chapter one fear daddy
was one of the greatest blessings of my life and also one of my greatest sources of pain
there were two issues first he had a brutal temper and second his drinking when he was angry or drunk
he became an idiot he would break his own rules subvert his own objectives destroy his own things
my mom is in many ways the total opposite of my father whereas daddyo was the boisterous
charismatic center of attention my mom carried a quiet reserved elegance she
loved words and always chose them carefully my mother spoke with an academic sophistication
as much as we all suffered under daddyo's militaristic views of love and family nobody
suffered more than my mother each of my siblings remembers that night in the bedroom with me
standing there in the doorway i watched my father punch my mother so hard that she spit up blood
that moment probably more than any other moment in my life has defined who i am today
each of my siblings responded differently in ways that would go on to define who we were for much of
our lives if harry would fight ellen was flight and i became a pleaser i wanted to please and
placate him because as long as daddy was laughing and smiling i believed we would be safe i was
the entertainer in the family i wanted to keep everything light and fun and joyful and while this
psychological response would later bear artistic and financial fruits it also meant that my little
nine-year-old brain processed dadio's abusive episodes as somehow being my fault i should have
been able to keep my father satisfied i should have been able to protect my mother i should have
been able to make the family stable and happy i should have been able to make everything all right
i got night in the bedroom watching my father's fist collide with the woman i love
most in the world watching as she collapsed on the ground helpless i just stood there i was my mom's
oldest son i was less than 10 yards away and i was the only chance she had for help yet i did nothing
it was then that my young identity congealed in my mind an unshakeable feeling that no matter what i
have done no matter how successful i've become no matter how much money i've made or how many number
one hits i've had how many box office records i've broken there's that subtle and silent feeling
always pulsating in the back of my mind that i'm a coward that i fail then i'm sorry my mama so sorry
okay sure
everyone has has met my mom uh so my mom uh i read her the chapter for the first time uh
yesterday yeah so we and she still agreed to come with us or not
i feel um you've had an option as to whether to be there or to choose to leave i said no i'm not
going to do this with my children there no this is you know i'm not going to be make them more upset
with me screaming and hauling him one of the things you said that was really strong too you
said part of the reason that you were standing up to daddy is because you knew your kids were
yeah yes you knew your kids could hear and you knew your kids could see and she wanted she wanted
us to think he wasn't hurting her maybe had i been more submissive things may have been different
i grew my teeth and buckled down my children aren't going to be more rattled because i'm
rattled simultaneously that's a high treated woman that that was the only time in my life
that i ever considered suicide it was the only time in my life that i ever
thought about killing myself because it was it was all my failure in my mind
you know the the whole idea of me of thinking of myself as a coward wasn't was new for her you know
it's like we did we've never we never talked about it um the idea that i felt like i should have done
something was so you know foreign you know so she uh reassured uh little will that there was
nothing that he could have done i i never thought he was kyle of course yeah
which is maintaining control even if it's a dire dark narrative and i think that all of
that responsibility taken is a way of controlling something you did throughout your career it was it
was probably like a trauma reaction he watched his mother be physically abused there was this
real sense of fear his father held the family and sort of the throes of fear so everybody would sort
of snap to it in order for a child to survive that they better have a rich imaginary world so he got
to take his imaginary world the place he worked stuff through and turned it into entertainment
i was always intrigued with my mind and very young i knew i could feel how i wanted to feel
right i like i had spent enough time in my mind you know that i knew
i could ignore things i could concentrate on other things i could paint pictures like i knew that um
i could get to a smile it didn't matter what was going on i could contort my mind to find a smile
will quitting the show may look like a failure to a lot of people
but there's actually another way to look at that as a breakthrough perhaps for the first
time will is choosing himself he's not hiding behind humor or control or the idea of winning
instead he's giving himself space to process and deal with his past i like that man
deepest diving pool my stupid got all this extraordinary stuff whoa
no problem dude that looks so cool
chapter 16 purpose
i ask myself if you could snap your fingers and have any life you wanted
what would it look like this question led me into an area of my inner world
that had danger signs all over it the answer would have to be extracted from the murky
swampy shadow regions of my psyche what if i rip down all the boards and barriers and barricades
and whatever demon is in there takes over what if i can't put it back what if i like it being out
but i approached the dark place i wanted to see what was in there
what are will's feelings will's opinions wills needs will's ideas who are you really
oh this is dead
okay
all right so interesting turn i'm really really interested in seeing
if this is something that they just pivot and make it all about his life and his book
i would love them to still focus on the fat loss end of things still focus on the strategy
if he does get a chance to work out to still film that because that's where my passion lies but i
also love the psychology side of things like it's really cool to see his perspective and kind of why
he he is the way he is another thing they didn't really mention that i think comes from how he
reacted when he was a child is like this deep fear that if i'm not funny something bad could happen
because whether you don't even if you don't consciously realize it if that subconscious
pattern is hey i need to be funny at all times and if i'm not something bad happens then the
yearning to be even funnier and funnier is a lot of pressure and it just grows and grows
really interesting man so i hope you enjoyed this episode if you're interested in learning
what we do how we do it how we help guys lose fat in a very lifestyle manner very simple
check the link of this or the description of this video we've got a link for free training
we put together there just basically lays out everything we do from a to z so check that out
subscribe to the channel if you're looking for more awesome videos of course as always make
sure to eat smart move more sleep deep and be grateful for this moment see in the next video