Sup, guys.
Welcome back to SourceFedNERD with your daily edition
of Table Talk, where we talk about your questions,
your topics, whether you did it on Twitter with the hashtag
TableTalk, did it on Facebook now, or reddit.com/r/sourcefed.
My name's Philip DeFranco.
I'm Meg Turney.
And I'm Trisha Hershberger.
Ba-da-da!
Who wants it?
Ooh, I like that.
Hey, do you want to both pick?
We can, like, wishbone it.
OK.
Also-- yes, I'm from the future.
And/or a huge tool.
And/or Egon Spengler.
And/or a glasshole.
OK.
Glasshole.
All right.
@zarana420 says what is the nicest thing
you have tried to do for someone that backfired?
#tabletalk.
That's a terrible topic.
I once tried to give Iraq freedom.
And that just blew up in my face.
Rude.
So rude.
What'd you break?
Um, the country, as well as part of Afghanistan.
And-- what?
I don't what I'm doing.
What'd you break-- I'm like, do you mean--
do you think he meant a physical rock?
Yeah.
No.
He meant the country Iraq.
Oh!
I thought you gave a rock freedom.
Oh.
OK.
Like you threw it into the ocean.
I was being George Bush.
Yeah, no.
We were there.
You had this amazing mental picture of him being,
like, be free!
That's exactly where my head was.
I should-- sorry.
I should have said Iraq.
No.
He was giving a rock freedom.
That's where I was with that.
Actually, that's what George Bush meant,
and this has all been a horrible misunderstanding.
I'm trying to think.
Because, uh-- I don't do nice things for people.
I just don't know the last time it backfired.
I mean, I don't know.
That's a weird topic.
I feel like something that was benign that I once
said about someone that backfired was in school
we had to go around and describe everyone with an adjective.
And I called a girl shy.
And she hated me for the rest of high school because of it.
Because she thought shy was, like, mean.
Like I was being a bitch by calling her shy.
You're shy.
I had something like that.
In an acting class we were supposed
to write down words and adjectives that
described the person on stage, to help them better understand
their type.
And this one girl was so beautiful
and tall and thin and graceful.
And I wrote giraffe.
Because to me that's a tall, beautiful, thin, graceful
animal.
And I've always been short, and I've always wanted to be tall.
And I'm super jealous of this girl.
And she thought it was like a huge insult.
Because I guess-- I don't know.
Do tall people get called giraffes in a mocking way?
I just think a giraffe is a little bit--
like they're disproportionate.
So like they have a body down here but then
they have a huge neck-- they're kind of awkward looking.
Oh.
Yeah, no.
I was like, she's so tall, and beautiful.
Like a majestic giraffe, is where I was going with it.
And she 100% thought it was an insult.
And then later I totally foot in my mouth, because I came up
and I was like, I just-- because she talked about,
someone wrote giraffe.
And I was like-- and she was all mad.
And I was like, I just want you to know
that it was me that wrote giraffe.
And I really meant it in a good way.
I didn't-- agh!
I tried that, too.
I tried to be, like, look, I meant shy
because you're really quiet, you know--
Right.
She literally held this grudge against me.
She dressed up as me for Halloween one year to mock me.
And her and this other girl-- ooh, Joseline and Rachel-- I
can't remember.
Rachel something.
Y'all were bitches.
Phil, have you ever dressed up like someone
to try to mock them?
No.
That's--
That's the high school I went to.
It was all AIM away messages and LiveJournals
and dressing up as people.
That was the most passive-aggressive school
on the face of the Earth.
Oh, yeah.
Full of bitches.
What about you?
You ever try to say something nice to someone
and then they took it shitty?
No.
Really?
Never.
I guess you gotta say something nice first.
Fuck.
I'm just trying-- right?
Why'd you go straight for the nip?
You just went bink.
I was like--
I didn't tweak.
It was like a touch.
Like, ahaha.
Next time I'm gonna be like-- mua-ha-ha!
But I also like that Phil's tweaked it--
Is that your play?
Right on the booby.
I also that your tweak-the-nipple noise
was bink.
Well, what other noise would it be?
Oh, I don't-- yeah.
I don't know what other noise it would be.
Awooga.
No, that's--
That's one of these.
I was actually twisting.
But we just made it completely-- no,
that's a completely different noise.
Mark T. Finnegan says what do you
think happens to us after we die?
Do you think it goes black, or something else?
Oh.
Hey, we get to all be different.
Ooh, interesting one.
I think it all goes black.
You think there's just nothingness?
I think it's either nothingness or-- because, I mean,
energy's all around us.
Before I existed maybe I was energy somewhere,
like parts of me were energy, whatever.
But I never had consciousness.
So yeah, I think for me it goes black.
Um, there was this really interesting thread on Reddit
about people who have died and come back.
And some people said they had these beautiful experiences.
I saw my family members, I did this, I did that.
Other people said there was absolute nothingness,
and it was terrifying.
They weren't comforted by the nothingness.
It was just absolutely terrifying.
For me, when you die your brain floods your body with DMT,
the chemical that makes you dream.
So for me, I think when people die and they come back and say,
like, I saw my family, I saw-- I think
it's just a dream that they're basically having.
And I think you get-- it's kind of like "Vanilla Sky."
Like you get stuck in that.
I think it's probably just something-- you think
you're in this dream and then it's nothingness,
but you don't really know the transition when that happens.
And then what do you think happens after that?
That's what I mean.
I think it's just nothing after that.
But I don't think you're aware of it being nothing.
Right.
We have no reincarnation people?
I'd love for it.
I'd love-- that'd be awesome.
That seems like the best outcome.
Because the heaven idea-- that sounds like it gets boring.
Right?
I don't understand how it doesn't-- yeah.
Like, you're just there-- like the idea of eternity,
bring there forever, I guess I feel like that would get old.
I love the idea of coming back and getting
to have another go of it.
Or being-- you know, we're all stardust, technically.
So like being something else.
Coming back.
Being a little bit of a flower.
Something like that.
Be a tree.
A little bit of a flower.
Just a little bit of a flower.
Not a whole flower.
You're like one petal.
What about you, Trisha?
Um, I-- first of all, let me preface this
by saying I have no idea.
Don't profess to know.
But my best hypothesis would be that I
think that everyone goes straight to purgatory.
Ooh.
Super Catholic.
So even if you're super good you go to purgatory?
I think everybody does.
Because there's not one person that's
super good enough their whole life to say
they never did anything wrong.
But what if you repented?
Like if you've confessed your sins or whatever to the point
when you die?
Aren't you forgiven when you confess your stuff?
You're forgiven?
Yeah, that's an interesting thing.
I dunno.
I still think everybody's got stuff
that they did that's somewhere in there.
And I think you go to purgatory and you work your time off
and then you can go to heaven--
Wait, is that what happens-- like,
you said you work your time off.
What does that mean?
That's just my thought.
I just don't know what you mean by that.
Yeah.
So it's like if you spend your time repenting
or whatever until you're good to go, and then you can get in.
But I also am kind of controversial,
I guess, in the Catholic mindset,
that I like to believe there is no hell.
I think everyone goes to purgatory
and gets the option to work it off.
Granted, you may be there a much longer time than the person
next to you.
And of course it's not that cut and dry.
There's not, like, actual bodies of people, I don't think.
But it's some kind of spiritual cleansing or something
like that.
And then once you've gotten to the point where you say,
hey, heaven is something I want, then you're good.
But there's a lot of people that don't want that.
So maybe you have to be in this kind of in-between place
that some people call purgatory, some people
call limbo, whatever your belief system is.
There's someplace you go to kind of figure it out.
And then you can either transcend to somewhere
else or not.
I don't know.
I guess my big problem with it is, like--
so this is the real world.
We're dealing with the nitty-gritty.
And then we die.
And then we're going through essentially
what sounds like social services and/or prison for heaven.
It doesn't make any sense.
Like, we'd still have all the same boring shit.
I don't know.
It could be-- and some people believe that right
where we are right now, the working
through the nitty-gritty, as you say,
some people believe that's purgatory,
or that's this in between limbo state.
Only I could hear that.
Never mind.
I ran the battery down, and it was like-- biddly-doo, doo-doo.
And I overreacted to it, and I was
like, I'm having a stroke-- no, no, it's just the Google Glass.
The Earth is hell.
Booble-dee-doop!
I think it's fascinating, everyone's
different theories about the Earth as hell,
or the Earth as purgatory.
Or there is nothing beyond or there is something beyond.
Or there's nothing beyond, so we just
keep coming back here over and over.
It's all fascinating to me.
God is a seahorse.
That's all we know.
I also really like--
I'm just saying.
Human man can't give birth, so God has to be a seahorse.
Rules.
Sorry.
Well-- OK.
I mean, I guess.
I'm joking.
Obviously I'm joking.
Obviously I don't believe in God, but--
It's a theory.
Seahorsers.
God is either a seahorse or-- I'm not gonna-- never mind.
Uh-oh.
I don't want Trisha to stab me later.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
No, but I like the idea-- I also really like the idea of you
come back as what you were in your life.
So if you were shitty in your life
then you come back as something shitty,
and if you were good in your life,
you come back as something sweet.
That would be awesome.
Yeah.
Like a crow is one of the worst things you can come back as.
I don't remember-- I think it's Chinese theory.
I don't know.
Something.
There's all different faith systems
about what are the better animals or the worse animals
to come back as.
It fascinates me.
I love it all.
Which animal would you come back as?
A puppy.
Hey!
Really?
Both of you went puppy?
Yes!
What, are you gonna back as a--
A Capuchin monkey.
Obviously.
I'm gonna play the cymbals and wear that little vest all day
long.
Yay, servitude.
What's your favorite video game romance?
Romance.
Ooh.
What's the best prank you ever pulled?
Oh, wait-- are we actually--
Oh, we're not doing video game romance.
Are you gonna pick Yuna?
Tidus and Yuna?
I know you are.
I knew what was going over there.
I cried so hard!
Videogame romance.
That's interesting.
I don't wanna-- yeah, I'm not gonna spoil anything.
But I would 100% go-- oh, "Tee-dus" and Yuna.
Everyone told me it's pronounced Tee-dus, not Tai-tus.
In my head it's Tai-tus, still.
I don't care.
It's like JIF and GIF.
I don't care.
My brain's done.
Uh, Cloud and-- no one's gonna finish that for me?
Aerith?
Is that what her name was?
We're talking about VII?
Cloud and girl who dies.
With the hair that goes like this.
Goes up.
And she has a basket.
She wears a pink dress and a ribbon.
I know the cosplay costume, but I don't--
Trying to go back and play that game is hard.
Really?
Because it's so blocky-looking.
Like, if anything needs an HD remake, it's Final Fantasy VII.
So you can fully, fully appreciate it.
But that's one of the moments in video games
where I was so pissed off.
I was just-- I lost my shit.
And whenever you search, like, "can you final fantasy VII"--
and it would be like, bring this girl back.
Like, save her.
It's what sets up-- it's one of the reasons that's
the best game ever.
She's a fully, like-- you can max her out,
like any other character, and then she's gone.
Yeah.
What's-- how do you pronounce her name?
It's Aerith, or Aeris?
Yeah.
I think Aertih.
I always think of those games, because you
read so much in those games.
I always think of the names as text.
Which is why I'm like, it'll always be Tidus to me.
I don't care if it's really pronounced Tee-dus,
because I read it as Titus in my head.
I'm gonna go the funny route Leon Scott
Kennedy from Resident Evil and Hannigan,
who he tries to get with all the time.
And she never having it.
She not having it.
That's a sad romance.
It is.
But it'll-- I mean, he is foxy.
I don't know if that's called a romance.
It's like a one-sided romance.
Unrequited love.
Romance.
That's still romance.
Because you could say, then, that there
is romance between you and a certain person on Twitter.
I mean, I-- well--
Ooh.
That's dangerous territory.
That's not romance.
That is dangerous territory.
I mean, what about Link and Zelda?
He's always fighting for her.
What about Mario and Peach?
I don't if I feel their romance is real.
She's always running away.
She always runs away.
I feel like she's in on it.
Maybe, then, Zelda is too.
She's actually with Bowser.
She's running off with her abusive boyfriends.
And then Mario, the good guy, comes and saves her.
And then that lasts for like three months,
and then she's like, oh no, I've bee kidnapped.
I feel like Zelda's probably the same way.
Ganondorf and Zelda--
He's gonna hit you again.
Sorry.
I don't know why I did that.
Jimheldion from Reddit says, who would you rather have?
Someone who would die for you, or someone
who would kill for you?
Someone who would kill for me.
Absolutely.
100% kill.
I don't need someone to die.
Then you're gone.
Great trick you did once.
Thanks-- yeah.
I don't know how I feel about this.
Thanks for the bulletproof vest that was your body.
Now I'm defenseless.
Like, what if they have another gun?
I see bad sides to both of these,
and I don't like the way either of them play out.
Are we talking about-- if we're talking about,
like, regular everyday world, that's
a little weird on both sides.
Yeah.
I'm talking, like, zombie apocalypse.
Bitch, pull out an AK and shoot some bitches.
How about this?
In that situation, yes.
Because then everybody's saved, and that's great.
But if it's like normal everyday,
like-- that guy looked at you wrong.
I gonna kill him.
Not cool.
No.
That's crazy boyfriend mentality that you just jumped to.
That's what I think when I'm like,
would you rather have someone that'll kill for you?
I'm like, oh, no.
I'd throw both--
Go ahead.
Whoa.
Karate chop!
I'd throw both out the window and say,
as long as someone would lie to the police for me, I'm good.
You don't need to kill anyone.
That sounds like-- that's a whole--
I was here the whole time.
What is with the nipple?
I don't even-- I don't have big nipples.
You have 15 nipples if right here
is like-- what are you doing with my nipples?
It was over here.
Can we get an instant replay?
Over here.
He's so violated.
He's really violated.
Good lord.
What if I actually have giant nipples.
That'd be the weirdest thing.
What if you really had like 60 nipples all over your chest?
Have you ever seen a--
Is that your way of confessing to the world
you have giant nipples?
No, I have-- like--
How large are your nipples, on this Table Talk.
No, I've seen a boob with, like-- I
call them dinner plate nipples.
Like, the big old fatty nipples.
It's like a saucer.
Yeah, yeah.
Because then-- yeah.
If you look at portion sizes back in the day,
that's actually right.
Now, a saucer is like--
So yeah.
Wait, wait.
Have you ever seen-- I need to know this.
Have you ever sen a man with big nipples?
I've seen a-- oh, this is a gross way to describe it.
I've seen a man with beefy nipples.
Is that a thing?
What is beefy nipples?
I feel like that's a thing girls would
talk about that doesn't easily go outside--
It's like guys who are overweight have,
like-- you know.
Fatty nipples.
For real?
Yes.
Like--
For real?
That's a thing.
Don't put me on the spot like you don't know it's a thing.
I didn't know it was a thing!
It's a thing that I don't want to talk about.
I've dated some big-- I dated a big boy.
I dated some big boys.
Did they have beefy nipples?
Beefy nipples?
It's so gross.
I feel like I can't eat lunch now after saying that phrase.
Well, I'm just intrigued, right?
Because I've seen ladies with large areolas.
Yes.
Right?
I was like, areolas?
And then I was like, don't say something that's in a vagina.
Don't say something that's in a vagina.
Large vulvas.
What was the question?
Dying or killing?
I said-- you said lie to the police.
I was gonna follow that up with, like, I was here
the whole time.
And then we went into nipples.
Now my hand is over here.
Get off of my nipples!
And then you said your nipples were the size of saucers.
I said that.
And then we moved to beefy nipples.
This is how this happened.
No, I think if you follow my Instagram,
you've seen my nipples before.
They're not big or beefy.
And that's an incentive to follow Phil's Instagram.
Hey, if you want to see my nipples and my dogs,
that's a thing.
Well, guys, guess what?
That's Table Talk.
Thanks so much for sending in your topics.
Don't forget to send them in using the hashtag tabletalk
or r/sourcefed.
I'm Meg Tourney.
I'm Philip DeFranco.
I'm Trisha Hershberger.
If you follow my Instagram, you will not see my nipples.
Rude.
But they're not beefy.
I still think you're making that up.
What the fuck is beefy nipple?
It's a beefy dude that has--
Right.
It's almost like part of man-boobs.
But they're not, like-- I don't know.
They have their own weight.
That's a thing.
They have their own weight?