- Hello everybody and welcome to our very first episode of
- [All] Pero Like!
- I'm Curly Velasquez.
- Jennifer Lorenzo.
- I am Yessica (slurs last name).
- Claudia (slurs last name).
- I'm Jazmin Ontiveros.
- Those are all of our-- (laughing)
- I just learned all of your middle names by the way.
- What's your last name or middle name?
- El segave, there's always like an ongoing joke
that Salvi people like to name their kids white names.
- Like Jonathan, Bryan, and then
you guys spell it all weird. - [Curly] Yep.
- And then when you name kids after
like US Navy, which is Usnavi.
- [Jazmin] What is that a Cuban thing?
- It's a Cuban thing yeah like,
there's a lot of guys named Usnavi and it's from US Navy.
- [Jazmin] Wow!
- That sounds really sexy though, aye Usnavi.
(laughing)
- Usnavi (laughing) and there's another one Usmail, US Mail.
- [Curly] No! - [Jazmin] What.
- That sounds like an urban legend.
- It's not an urban legend, I know--
- If you are named Usmail or Usnavi--
- Comment below!
(laughing)
- So we've got our first segment coming up
and this segment was named by Curly, what is it Curly?
- So I call this segment Muy Caliente
and I stand by that name.
(screeches) Muy Caliente!
(multiple speakers speak over each other)
It's fun to make that sound--
- [Jazmin] You would, Curly.
- The first issue we're bringing up today
for Muy Caliente would be cheating,
like what do you guys think about cheating?
- I don't have my eyeliner on
for this, it's about to get real.
- I think that like if you cheat
before the age of 25, I think that's okay.
Nobody should think any less of you as a human being because
you're still a kid, you're still figuring things out.
- So it's all about you and your growth
and not about the other person's like feelings and trust.
- Yes, I think that life in general,
is about you and your own growth.
- If it's in the agreement that we're both like
yo, we're young, we're beautiful, let's bang everyone,
then that's fine, but if I'm in a relationship
with a homie that's like yo, I'm gonna treat you
like a queen, like you deserve, like as if you were Beyonce,
and they cheat on me, I'm leaving their ass.
- Beyonce gets cheated on too, though so--
- Whoa! - [All] Whoa!
(multiple speakers speak over each other)
- I will agree that like when I was younger,
I was like cheating is the worst thing in the world
and is a deal-breaker and that person is a horrible person,
and the older I get, I'm like cheating is
a really complicated thing, life gets really hard.
- [Jennifer] It's situation by situation.
- Sometimes you need to work through it.
- For me it's just like as long as I don't know about it
or hear about it or find text messages like whatever.
- I'm not dating either of you guys, you guys are monsters.
- I don't cheat, I'm faithful, but like other people,
it's not realistic to me, it's not realistic.
- Cheating, yea or nay?
- I say before the age of 25 you should be able to cheat.
- [Jazmin] If like it happens.
- [Yessica] No, man up-- - [Claudia] It happens.
- [Yessica] Man up--.
- [Jennifer] Open relationships.
- Now it's time for Me Cae Gordo bowl with a molcajete.
(humming)
That's copyrighted, just kidding.
- Apple changing their fucking chargers.
(laughing)
Yes, why?
- Did you see those 30 pin charger, it was like this big.
That thing was huge, now we got a tiny, little--
- It's not about size, it's about them
sitting on years of technology.
- If you're talking shit, then talk shit
about them using an Apple cord.
Don't talk shit about them changing the cord
because if they use microUSB, mini USB,
or just a normal USB, that's a universal system.
- I'm like the one person who always
breaks my chargers and I'm always like,
Curly, can I borrow your charger?
(multiple speakers talk over each other)
- Also, break your phone, Jazmin, show them the crack.
- No, I'm okay now.
- She just had a cracked ass phone,
now you have another crack, you got it fixed again?
- I love you have cilantro at your feet though.
(laughing)
- So I got a text from mi mama,
and I want to know is this a thing?
Hi guys, we are freezing our butts today.
Blah, blah, blah, it goes on for a while.
Anyways, yesterday we got chili from our new neighbor
in apartment A, very rich and tasty,
but it gave me so much gas and I only had a tablespoon
or two, but anyway, I think she poured the beans
straight out of the can without rinsing
and voila that does it, you literally explode.
Funny, funny, I always rinse the beans and no gas.
And there's two little emoji faces that are like.
(laughing)
- Your mom is so cute.
- So that's why I wanted to know, is that a thing,
rinsing the beans out of the can will give you no gas?
- Don't be eating beans out of a can.
- I like beans out of a can!
(multiple speakers talk over each other)
- Cleaning the beans gives you no gas.
- Rinsing the beans--
- I never heard, I didn't even know that was a thing.
- Alright guys, here we go, so I asked Google.
You must eliminate the soaking liquid
and rinse off the residue from the beans.
- And then it says, don't get lazy.
- You can soak overnight.
You can speed-soak on a pressure cooker.
You can drain and rinse the beans.
- You know what, I'd rather have gas.
(everybody speaks over each other)
You say bagel, right?
- [Curly] Bagel. - [Jennifer] I say bagel,
P-E-O.
- Because you guys don't use consonants in Cuba, right?
- I don't know that's all I know, my Caribbean talk alright?
- Like say gordo.
- Gordo.
- Gordo (laughs).
(laughing)
- It sounds like we're drowning in a glass of water.
(laughing)
- Oh sorry you have (speaking in Spanish).
(laughing)
- So that's our time for today.
- Pero Like, you can subscribe and you can share.
- Feel free to send us comments guys!
Any sort of questions, photos, drawings, whatever.
- Oh and real talk, if you have a better
name for the segment Que Caliente,
like real time, put that downstairs.
Don't tell Curly, don't tell Curly,
but I think that shit is terrible.
- You know what honey, I'm still
funnier that this one over here.
(everyone ohs)
- It's about to get real real quick.
(laughing)