- Thanks to wheat thins for sponsoring this video.
Hey China. - Hey.
- why do people like getting married?
- Taxes?
- That's probably it.
(ceremonial music)
Marriage.
What's the deal?
My wife and I,
we chose this fate
and it wasn't just for the viral video,
although that was a big part of it.
- Will you marry me
(sobs) yes.
- It's because we genuinely want to be married
and we still love it.
But...
That is kind of weird when you think about it.
You're opting to pledge your life to someone else,
the rest of your life, giving up freedom.
You can't just up and fly to Tuscany.
The plot of... - I mean...
- Eat, pray, love.
Come on, Craig, eat, pray, love.
Julia Roberts travels the world to find herself,
which is a shame because I thought
that would make it be about clones,
which is a shame because that totally
would have been relatable.
Indeed clone.
Anyway, there are other downsides to marriage,
like having to live with someone else.
Tell me about it.
I will.
You have to deal with my stinky clothes after I work out.
- It's not my favorite thing ever.
It's not just my hair that I find all over the place.
It's like your beard hairs.
I make the bed and then sometimes you go take a nap
and then I come back into the bedroom and it's unmade.
- You know how you leave stuff on the bed?
- Yeah, you hate that.(laughs)
- I just want to, at any moment,
run into the room and jump on the bed and not have to worry
about landing on a knife or something like you,
you always put knives on the bed.
- Yeah well, - You don't put knives
on the bed.
- I don't anymore.
You only know about what I did since I lived with you.
- That's true.
I always like to make sure that the dirty dishes
are on the right side next to the sink,
you don't do that.
- Sometimes I think I might use it again.
- Then you put it on the left side
where we put clean dishes.
I don't know if it's clean or, if it's dirty.
- I'm not done with this.
I don't want it over here next to these dirty things.
- Of course, these are silly squabbles
that are easily solvable or would
be if I wasn't such a selfish jerk,
but also there's the idea that you don't have
to be married legally you could just live together.
So why do people like being married?
Well, me being me, I made a list.
First let's get the ones out of the way
that I don't think are necessarily good reasons
to be married.
- You're placing a bet.
I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
So I'm going to make it way more complicated and expensive
to not be with you anymore.
- One, a safety mechanism from your future self.
You love this person and you wanna be with them
for the rest of your life.
But you also happen to know that your favorite pastime
is running for the hills when things get tough.
So make it legally binding,
put a fence around those hills
and maybe throw some tigers in there.
Make them robot tigers with laser eyes and hearts of gold.
So gold that if you fought love,
they will kill you.
With alimony (laughs)
Sure to sign a prenup.
Anyway, this is definitely not why I got married.
I'm very comfortable with my future self.
In fact, I talk to him regularly.
Thanks to my time machine.
Hey, here are your lotto numbers.
Finally, since I only do these videos for money,
I guess we're done here.
Future Craig came back and stole all the money
cause he blew his own hair plugs.
Anyway, number two, tradition.
- I always wanted to get married
because I grew up in Kentucky and that's what you do.
- I probably have tradition baked in me too.
That's a story you tell yourself,
I'm gonna get married, settle down,
have kids.
- Right, I don't think that it's as important
as everyone says that it is.
I think that that's probably caused a lot of people
a lot of pain.
Both people who get married only because they feel like
that's what they're supposed to do.
Or people who never find someone they want to get married to
and then are made to feel less than.
- Well tradition is probably a big reason.
We both saw ourselves getting married someday.
We don't love it.
Moving on, to taking a break,
to talk about our sponsor, barley fix, wheat thins.
Wheat thin?
- Just one?
I would like more than one.
- Okay, how do you feel about raking?
- It's exhausting,
but it's nice to do something where you do hard work
and then you see progress being made.
- Like marriage.
- Yeah, in almost no way.
- China may not appreciate the metaphor,
but let me be-labor it further.
The feeling of progress being made through the hard work
of raking leaves is also a gain
from the hard work of marriage.
Work reward, hardship, easy ship, the duality of life,
much like how the salty sweet crunch of wheat thins
made with 100%, whole grain wheat, mind you, 21 grams,
whole grain were 31 gram serving.
Helps you embrace the salty sweet duality of life.
We have now achieved the metaphor trifecta.
The trifecta for marriage.
The lifelong celebration of love is glorious,
but also hard work and compromise.
Raking leaves, the feeling of progress is sublime,
but also exhausting.
Wheat thins, they are both salty and sweet
to the duality of life.
Stock up on wheat thins now.
Request to change it to wheeze thins wheat thins?
No? what about if we have a series
on your YouTube channel called wheat see waiter?
Okay, whatever.
You know, who else loves marriage?
My parents.
- Married?
I'm not married.
- Yes you are.
- I finish.
To the idea of being divorced, I love being married.
- But why Dingus?
- Tax reasons?
- That's what I am stressing.
to Ching city, am I right Gary?
- When he was Bush.
- Just make sure you put the right name
on the tax form. - Sure thing.
- And toss me some of those salty sweet wheat thins Gar,
- Catch a catch tots.
- Mama needs a Cracker.
- It looks yummy.
Can I have one?
- As ludicrous as my dad may be,
he brought up a good point.
That will be number three.
- Tax reasons.
- Legal stuff.
- I don't think anybody needs to get married.
Like we could have just had a commitment ceremony,
but not done the legal stuff, - yeah.
- But there are benefits to being legally married.
Married people have rights that non-married people don't.
You're incapacitated and someone needs to make decisions
for you or like visiting you in the hospital or whatever.
- Yeah them sweet, sweet, romantic legal benefits.
That's exactly why I got married.
For me it wasn't really like,
I didn't think about the legal benefits of it.
That's exactly not why I got married.
In fact, my entire early adult life could be defined
by ignoring responsible financial and legal optimization.
Basically my mantra was look into your heart, your heart.
Look into your heart, heart, heart your heart.
♪ Look inside your heart. ♪
♪ Your heart, heart, heart, heart, heart, ♪
♪ heart, heart, heart, heart, heart, heart, ♪
♪ heart inside your heart, heart, ♪
♪ Look inside your heart, heart, heart, heart. ♪
Which leads to one of my big reasons to get married
and probably not the most responsible reason.
I I'm gonna show you how much I love you
by pledging my life to you.
Having a big party to tell everyone...
It's a grand romantic gesture of love.
We had a grand wedding and viral video all to prove
to each other and the world that our love is real.
Financially responsible?
No. Fun?
Yes. If it weren't
for romantic gestures,
we wouldn't have the Taj Mahal built
by a heartbroken emperor in honor of his late wife,
the hanging gardens of Babylon, which we don't have now,
but we probably had, and we have the story of it.
Queen Amytis, Amytis of Media missed the green hills
and valleys of her Homeland.
So her hubby King Nebuchadnezzar built her,
the hanging gardens of Babylon.
The story is great because I get to say Nebuchadnezzar.
Historians request to change and Nebuchadnezzar
to Nebu-chan-ezzee waiter?
No? Moving on.
- It feels very safe and comfortable.
If there's any like struggle that I'm going through
that we go through it.
It's not just on me.
- This is a reason I'll call reassurance.
No one can really know with 100% certainty the intentions of
another person.
So marriage is an external action that indicates commitment
and can make you feel safe and comfy and trapped,
but probably, hopefully not.
Next, speaking of knowing a person, social investment.
This was more just about being together for a long time.
Not necessarily legally married,
but the point is it takes time to get to know somebody.
- You can really only get to know somebody as well
as we know each other, by being together
for years and years and years,
it's just nice having built-in social interaction,
someone to talk to.
- It's really easy to talk to you
cause I know you pretty well. - Yap.
- Think, let's say you're a really good liar.
- Well, only time will tell.
- Will it? - No.
- And it's an investment because not all the benefits
are apparent at first.
And a lot of the potential issues might be solved
given a longer timeframe,
rather than just dumping someone because they pronounced
the word bagel wrong.
I've been told, I pronounced the word bagel wrong.
I don't care.
Well, I'm actually working on it, for China.
My wife, not the country.
You stay together and you work through things
to potentially become better for each other.
And to find ways that you compliment each other.
Here's some examples we talked about.
You're better at stuff than me.
Like especially stuff that involves calling
and talking and small talk.
- I love it. - I hate all that stuff.
- I love calling and talking and small talks there.
- Since I've been with you
I've had to do much less small talk.
When you first met me,
how much of like a pile of just trash I was?
- Oh yeah, like total,
just like garbage cheap in the form of a man.
- Most of us agree with me.
- Oh no, I don't remember that, who?
- I like things a lot cleaner now.
- Sometimes I think I am the messy one
except the peanut butter thing.
- And remember China's throwing stuff on the bed issue
that nearly destroyed our marriage.
- I don't do that anymore though.
- But now you don't do that.
- No, see?
- Just two people anticipating each other's needs.
- Yeah, maybe you could work harder on anticipating
my need to not have a peanut butter
on all the like cabinet poles and
refrigerator door, handle and stuff.
- No.
And seven, the obvious one, not being alone.
Many people don't like being alone.
Some people do, shame.
I know you're watching, but many people don't.
I don't wanna be alone, so if I didn't have you,
I probably would date.
Glad I don't have to.
- Oh my God yeah.
Dating is the worst.
- Maybe not everyone hates dating as much as we do,
but we do.
We much rather would hang out with someone that we know
than a stranger.
Which is probably why when it comes to traveling to Tuscany.
Well, we discussed.
- If I had been like, Craig,
I just really want to go to Tuscany right now, drink wine.
I'm gonna sit in a chalet? - A chalet.
- I don't think a chalet is.
I don't know anything about chalets.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
- Chalets are typical of the Alpine region of Europe.
So in Italy is included in that so sure.
- I don't think you would have been like, you can't do that.
- Yeah but you could go and then meet a bunch of guys.
- Live out my romance, novel fantasy?
- Yeah. - If only
I wasn't married to you.
The only thing holding me back.
- That wasn't the right answer.
The right answer was I live it out every day with you.
- I do live it out everyday (laughs)
but I would rather just go to Tuscany with you
and live out my romance fantasy with you.
- Also, if we were alone,
we wouldn't have been able to rake our whole lawn in a day.
- And we're not even halfway done with the backyard.
- Well, I had to work on this videos so.
(leaves crunching)
- We're just gonna kind of dump it.
- You hear that?
That's the sound of love.
Thank you for watching.
Thank you again to wheat thins for sponsoring this video
stock up on wheat thins today,
don't be salty that this video is coming to an end because
it's pretty sweet that you watched it.
If you liked this video,
maybe let me know with a comment and a thumbs up, subscribe.
Let's start a long-term commitment.
Previous video, China and I quit sugar,
alcohol and social media for a month.
That's up there.
Playlist of other why do people like videos.
You can support me on Patreon where I do a week daily vlog.
a vlog every single weekday, and click there to subscribe.
(dings)