- Hi, I'm Mark Dohner, and this is the story
of how the karma police caught up with me.
It was the winter of my senior year in high school
and I was working at the ski resort in Hudson, Ohio.
Basically what my job was is I was a lift operator
and I started and stopped the ski lift to put people
up the hill.
It wasn't a mountain, we were in Ohio.
Don't tell anyone this but I actually didn't apply
for the job I just got it because my brother
worked there and he was actually my boss.
And don't get me wrong, it sucked sometimes having
my brother as my boss but this particular night,
it was awesome.
A girl from my school was throwing a huge party because
her parents were going out of town.
My crush, she was gonna be there.
So me, naturally, I had to be there.
I asked my brother if I could go to the party
and get off work early.
It happened to be a not busy night, so he was like,
"Yeah bro, why not, go have fun."
(bleep) yeah!
So by the time we get to the party,
everyone was (bleep) faced.
We hopped in, we started dancing, grooving.
I started talking to the girl, like I'm like,
"Hey girl, what's up?"
While we're having a good time, you know,
grooving it out little did we know that the girl
down the street who's a total tattle tail
was calling the police because she had a little FOMO
and wasn't invited to the party.
So she's on the phone she's like (imitates ring),
"Hello, yes, there's a party going down the street.
I'm not invited but they're drinking alcohol, bye!"
So I'm sitting there chatting it up with the girl
that I potentially could be marrying in the future
and then boom, boom, boom.
Everyone's like oh (bleep) the cops are here, what do we do?
Some people are going out the back door.
There's cops back there because they knew what was up.
They're tackling people.
Other people are getting away, other people are falling into
ponds trying to swim.
I don't even know what's going on.
Me, being an idiot and just an innocent dude, I froze.
I didn't know what to do, I was like,
"Ah, I can't run from the cops."
So I stayed there, in the basement, tucked in a corner,
by myself sucking on my thumb.
Open the door, cops come down.
You're coming with me, I'm the law, ugh!
And I'm freaking out, I'm like all right,
I'm gonna get arrested.
So he takes me outside,
tells me he's gonna give me a field sobriety test.
You know with the whole eyes looking at the finger thing
and touching your nose and whatnot.
And I'm like, oh, bro, I'm good I haven't even
had anything to drink because I was just at work.
I just got here.
Everyone else is (bleep) faced, but me,
Mark Dohner sober.
So he gives me the field sobriety test thinking
I'm gonna fail.
Blew his mind, passed it with flying colors.
I felt so relieved.
I didn't get in trouble.
I learned from this one and I was like,
"Yo, this will never happen again."
The very next night, my buddy was dog sitting
at some random house that he was like,
"Yo, let's throw another party."
I'm like bro, you're (bleep) crazy like we just
got busted last night.
He's like lightning doesn't strike twice.
I'm like hmm, let me think about it for a second.
Fine.
Everyone shows up including the girl that I had
the major crush on back in high school
who I was talking to the night before.
I'm like yo, let's pick up where we left off,
keep it in the pocket baby.
So just when I'm starting to make a little progress
with this girl, I'm getting close to sealing the deal,
we had all the blinds closed and we see lights,
flashlights outside through the blinds.
We scram, we hide.
I go upstairs, I hide in the bathtub with the shower
curtain pulled up with my buddy and then
bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
This is the police, open up.
Some dumbass, who knows why,
goes and opens the door.
Why would you open the door?
So they're scrummaging around downstairs,
we hear 'em,
we're sitting up there panicking,
we're like what do we do, I don't know what to do?
My buddy's like, "Well maybe we should just go down
and turn ourselves in."
Terrible plan! So I'm like, bro, I got an idea.
I'll call my brother.
He's been through shit like this before.
He's gotten in trouble.
He's much older than me, I'mma see what we need to do.
(imitates phone ring)
I'm in a bathtub with a curtain blocking me.
There's cops downstairs at this party that just got
busted I don't know what to do.
- Well what do you want me to do?
- Oh I don't know, you've been in these situations before
I need your help!
- Well can you get out any way?
- And I look, right there,
above the toilet, a window!
I was like all right, there's a street behind us.
Come grab us.
He's like all right, I'll be right there.
So me and my boy, we hop outta the shower curtain.
We hear the police, they're like on their way up
the stairs stomping like doosh, doosh.
This is the police (imitates sirens).
We pull up this window, we both get out,
we drop down.
Hurt a little bit, not gonna lie but we're sprinting
right faster than we've ever run before.
We're Usain Bolt, the crowd's cheering.
We get to the street behind me.
My brother's there.
We hop in the back of his car, scurt!
We got away Scott free, two for two!
I'm sitting there like, yo, I'm untouchable.
No one can stop me, not even the police baby.
But, you know karma's a real thing.
So I was wrong.
Fast forward a couple days.
My brother lets me off work early yet again.
I'm driving home and I get a text.
I look down at my phone to see who it is
and it's the crush, the girl that I was at the
first two parties with.
I'm like yeah, winner, winner, chicken dinner, let's go!
In the time I looked down and looked back up,
the car in front of me had stopped to turn left.
I slammed on my brakes.
The roads were sloshy.
Slide into the back of the pickup truck.
I'm in a little baby car, you know first car
a nice little sedan.
Go straight underneath the back of the pickup truck.
I'm (bleep)
And even worse, before we even have the chance
to call the police I look up and guess what I'm in front of?
The police department.
Before we could even get out of our cars,
guess who rolls up?
(imitates sirens)
This is the police.
Comes up to me goes oh, looks like you were following
a little bit too closely here.
Wait a second, weren't you the guy
from the party the other night?
Party?
Nah, that wasn't me.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Anyway, getting back to the accident.
He's like hmm, mkay.
We'll here's a ticket for driving too close,
not maintaining a safe distance.
So then I go to hop back in my car,
turn the ignition, my car wouldn't start.
Not only did I just get a ticket,
now I gotta call my dad.
Oh, Greg Dohner, this is me, what's up?
I'm like hey dad, I got in a car accident
and my car won't start.
Loses his marbles!
Fuming at me!
My dad rolls up, he gets outta the car, he's red!
He reams me out right there on the street,
doesn't care right in front of the police station,
no worries in the world.
He took away my driving privileges for the
next five years.
Every school year, every summer for five years
until I moved to Los Angeles and I bought my own car.
So, moral of the story is,
a couple things.
Absolutely do not text and drive
and karma is a bad bitch and you gotta respect her.
Thank you guys for watching,
I hope you guys enjoyed my crazy party story.
I hope you guys have some crazy stories of your own.
And if you guys wanna check out anymore of the
crazy party stories, click over here and hit subscribe
to subscribe to MTV for some more dope videos.