What's up guys? We're dude perfect
Welcome to another episode of fa fa -face offfffffffff.
[Random Chatter]
This week we've got turkey bowling, it's gonna be a great game.
Let's see who the 2 contestants and the announcer will be.
Contestant number 1 will be: HAHA
Garrett!!
(Oh!) Very nice
Contestant number 2 will be:
TYYYY!
What??!
Easy win!
and the announcer will be:
you know who it is
COBYYY!
OOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!
Assume your roles!
[Old Farmer Voice] Ladies and gentlemen... WE ARE TURKEY BOWLING
[Old Farmer Voice] Oh I forgot to introduce myself
[Old Farmer Voice] My name ... is Jon Carver
[Old Farmer Voice] And you may be wondering
[Old Farmer Voice] Why I'm dressed like this
[Tyler] I'm certainly wondering....
[Farmer voice] I brought a lot of things that I can give to you guys because it's Thanksgiving
way to go
[Old Farmer Voice] And I want you guys to feel appreciated during this entire competition
[Old Farmer Voice] Okay, let's get to it
[Gong Sound]
[Old Farmer voice] Mr. Garrett please speak into the microphone
[Old Farmer voice] By the way I'm wearing these gloves 'cause I don't want to get salmonella
salmonella from raw meat like turkey
which pound turkey are you going to use today
[Garrett] Ahh ... yes, I'm gonna go. . .
I'm kind of a lightweight bowler you know?
a little twelve pound action
going off pure looks here this looks like the lean and mean one that I uh
ooh wow yeah - it's a little heavier
[Farmer] Make sure to wash your hands after you use it
so you don't get salmonella, you know what I'm saying?
I'm pretty positive you can get salmonella from pretty much anything, especially turkey
ok, hey after you (Whacks) sorry about the bristles there
Today we're doing a little turkey bowling
yes, sliding turkeys to hit the pins
like everybody knows, in order to keep your turkey sliding clear into the pins, you need a little soap
here we go boys, we're gonna have some slippery turkeys today!
just like real bowling when you step across the line, there's a penalty
No different in turkey bowling
we're adding extra soap for extra slippage
[Garrett] I'm a one-handed bowler but for turkey bowling I'm gonna go two
[Farmer] Okay, well - it's your time
*guitar solo playing*
*pins tumbling*
*Cheering*
Oh, what a bowl!
*pins tumbling*
Oh! Okay hey
[Farmer] Okay you know what?
I didn't expect you get a strike right off the bat you
deserve most of my belt
I'm giving you one more
yep, you can take that too
[Farmer] Ty - your name is Ty, correct?
[Tyler] It's Tyler, but yeah
[Farmer] I'll call you Ty
[Tyler] Which one of these is your front tooth
[Farmer] Well I would consi - please don't put your hand that close to my mouth
Would you say that Thanksgiving is your favorite holiday?
[Tyler] No.
[Farmer] That is hurtful, because I started Thanksgiving
[Tyler] You didn't - you didn't start Thanksgiving [Farmer] I did! Yes I did!
It's time to bowl!
*guitar solo playing*
looks nice
*guitar solo*
Bowl Number One
*Whistle Sound Effect*
*pins tumbling*
*yelling*
[Tyler] DANG IT!!!
[Farmer] Doing it Thanksgiving , boys!
You left a pin up!
[Tyler] Okay nine points for me, ten points for you!
I'm just kidding I don't want your manila (salmonella)
[Farmer] It's time for round two
Tyler - is that his name?
[Garrett] Yeah, Tyler is in second place
[Farmer] Second place, with how many pins of a difference? [Garrett] One pin
[Farmer] One pin. So you're separated by only one pin after the first round, is that correct?
[Garrett] Uh yeah, Carver
[Farmer] That addition was fantastic - now I'd like to reward you with two chapsticks
[Farmer] okay it's time for round two
Alright
Good luck to you
*butt slap*
Gotta get the lucky ball - turkey, I mean
*guitar solo*
Oh no! No!!!
*pins tumbling*
I didn't account for the turkey to be melting - it actually slipped out of my hand
luckily my competitor left the bumpers out for me
and I bumped that right off, and got me 8 pins
Now, if maths does me right; if Ty gets a strike he'll only get like one
which means I can still win the final round
[Farmer] It's time for your round two [Tyler] Yeah
[Farmer] Garrett, I mean Jarret? Right? is it Jaret? [Tyler] It's Garrett
[Farmer] Jarret rolled an 8
*squelching sound*
There's turkey juice on your arm, that's for sure
Hey!!!! Hey!!!
[Tyler] Fun fact not a lot of people know about me
My grandpa Bob used to hustle people in the bowling lanes
So I got a little bit of that bowling blood in me
Here we go!
*music*
*pins tumbling*
*indistinct*
You got another 8!
[Farmer] This seems like the perfect opportunity to ask you two what you're thankful for
[Tyler] I might be thankful if people didn't touch me
[Farmer] Ugh yeah, I understand that
[Tyler] and, ah, macaroni and cheese
[Garrett] cool
I'm gonna go uh. . .orthodontists and uh and family
[Garrett] That was not a shot to anybody in this room
[Farmer] If you get a strike you can seal this whole deal
[Garret] That's correct, Carver [Farmer] Is that what you're aiming to do?
[Garrett] I would prefer to shut the door
[Farmer] If you would please go ahead and close the door on Tyler, we'd all appreciate it
[Garret] Perfect!. . . .Oh no
[Farmer] What?
[Garrett] I forgot which ball I used
[Farmer] OHHHH
*music*
OHH OHHH!!
*pins tumbling*
*yelling*
[Farmer] The door
*clank*
is open
[Tyler] Carver, we got - really, I don't know why you're here
Look, here's the deal:
[Tyler] I gotta have a strike to tie it up, Garrett's in the lead right now
I've got my last ball coming up
[Garrett] Metaphorically I left the door open
[Tyler] He left the door open. I honestly do not know why this guy is here.
[Garrett] Is that all Carver needed to tell ya?
[Tyler] I think that's literally all the information you needed
[Garrett] All right, hey, good luck sir
[Tyler] Good luck, thank you!
[Tyler] I can't even get a good grip.
[Farmer] I'd like to really -
[Tyler] JOHN!!! Would you just PLEASE let me bowl my turkey?!
[Farmer] A strike ties it up
[Tyler] We literally - me and Garrett already told all of them that
[Farmer] and we're going to a tie breaker
Anything less than that, and you lose
[Tyler] Thank you
[Farmer] No offence, no offence
*music*
*pins tumbling*
YEAAHHH!!!
[Farmer] Oh my goodness! Oh my - that was terrible!
[Garrett] Oh (whispering) wow
[Farmer] I'm sorry, this is not a time for negativity - this is a time for celebration!
*clapping*
*jingling*
[Garrett] *clapping* I'll take those, Johnny-boy
[Garrett] what are you- uh Ty, have you lost your mind?
What are you doing?
[Farmer] NO!!!! NO NO NO NO! NO! NO!! NO!!!
*squelching sound*
[Garrett] OOOHHHHH
[Tyler] Good win, proud of you - not sure why he's here. Great job
[Farmer] Congratulations, Garrett
*music*
[Tyler] Get away from me!
[Farmer] Uh. . . Mr cruel... cruel turkey throwing person - who taught you how to bowl?? That was abysmal
[Farmer] Woah woah woah
[Farmer] *clapping* Congratulations!
Um no no
[Farmer] Even though I am frustrated at you for obvious reasons, I'd like to turn over the final portion of the interview to you
[Tall guy] I must first say I'm pretty - pretty glad that Ty got randomly selected to be the announcer, after that last performance
[Garrett] I second that
[Tyler] Step back John - Thanks for watching, guys!
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Signing off for now!
Cor hit em with a pound it
Coach hit em with a noggin'