hello you probably know what I'm going to say already but
I'm pregnant what are you holding I'm just getting prepared over here
just in casual literature just some light reading to prepare I didn't really know how to start this
video but uh we're having a baby in December I have so much to tell you guys I have been lying
omitting information lots of lying I haven't really been lying I've just been holding back
a lot of information that we knew of but we wanted to wait until we were out of
the first trimester before we shared this so at the point in which you're watching
this video we are in the second trimester but at the point which we're filming this video
we are still in the first trimester I'm about nine or ten weeks today I did make a video last week
where I mentioned that we're moving I told you all the reasons we're moving you know Michael needs a
legitimate office space that he can work in plus we want a quieter neighborhood plus we're getting
another bedroom so we are looking for a three bedroom what do we need the other bedroom for
so that is our plan right now I have so much to tell you Michael's gotta work and fortunately
this is my work so I'm gonna take you into the other room and fill you in yay take care of the
little one I'll hold on tight all right welcome to the bedroom okay so quickly before I get into all
of the excitement and the joy I want to call out that I completely understand that this trying to
conceive journey and the whole pregnancy journey is a very tough one and is a very sensitive topic
for a lot of people particularly those of us who are struggling to get pregnant or have been trying
for a really long time or have experienced pregnancy loss and I want to call out at the
start of this video that if anyone's watching this and it's just not the right time for you
to be watching a video of someone who just got pregnant please navigate away now I completely
understand if this is not the video for you I have loads of other videos on my channel
unrelated to this so I don't want to trigger anyone here I only want people to watch this video
who it's going to make them feel positive and excited I don't want this to hurt anyone or make
anyone else feel stressed in their own situation so please do what's appropriate for you based on
where you are in your journey I don't even know where to start I have another video that's going
to be coming out in a couple of weeks that will be more of a detailed story of our journey from
the moment Michael and I decided we were ready to have a baby to know this video is not that this
video is just a little announcement I just wanted to share the news with you as soon as I could so I
knew that once the first trimester was over that's when you're technically allowed to tell people
personally I would have told the public way sooner I told pretty much all my friends and family
in the first trimester and I just felt like I couldn't really wait to tell people I understand a
lot of people like to keep the news inside because the first trimester you have the highest risk
of miscarrying so a lot of people don't like to share until they have passed the first trimester
or when they've gotten past some of the testing and you know they feel better about things but
I am the kind of person who especially with my family but also with many friends I really wanted
to be able to share every step of this journey with people especially girlfriends and women in my
life I really wanted this information to be in the hands of the people who love me the most so that
if something were to happen I wanted the most support that I possibly could have also I felt
like something that I learned from hearing about previous people who were pregnant a lot of people
say that the first trimester is just the most lonely because you feel the worst and you can't
tell anyone I just sort of had this brain blast the day I found out I was pregnant where I was
like why would I bring loneliness onto myself when it doesn't have to be a lonely time I don't have
to be holding it a secret if I don't want to be it doesn't feel right for me and so it definitely
didn't feel right to keep the information just to myself so I told a lot of friends and family
pretty pretty early on and really loved the fact that I was able to have so much excitement and you
know so many conversations happening already even when things were still uncertain and the truth is
things are always uncertain like even when you get past the first trimester even when you have
a baby things are uncertain so I felt like I just wanted my friends and family to be there I wanted
them to know how excited we were and what we were going through and that was just my personal
approach I have so much to tell you I don't even know where to start so the first thing I want
to say is that I've been a little bit M.I.A. on Instagram because I have just felt so unwell I've
had a very rough first trimester thus far in terms of nausea and throwing up before getting pregnant
I think I could count on my two hands the amount of times in my life that I threw up and every time
every memory I have of throwing up was like the most unpleasant experience I hate throwing up
so entering into this time period where I probably spent multiple times a day sitting over the toilet
heaving that was a really big change for me I'm currently still in the thick of it if I'm in
the bathroom not feeling well I have occasionally turned my phone on to record videos of me sitting
in front of the toilet so that I could really share the raw behind the scenes of what's going
on with you most of the time I turned the camera on I guess I wasn't really feeling at my worst so
I would just gag a couple times but there were one or two times when it really turned into a full-on
throw-up situation while I was filming so I did capture that for you I'm not gonna put sound on
it because I don't think anyone wants to hear that most of what happens when I go to the bathroom is
I feel like I'm gonna throw up and I sit there my mouth starts
watering like saliva is being produced and I just am uncontrollably spitting to get the saliva out
it is just like this all day nausea I don't know why it's called morning sickness it's not
just in the morning most of my throw ups have happened at night actually it is just the most
uncomfortable feeling I've had a couple of moments of just sobbing to Michael and it's this weird
feeling of being so incredibly grateful that you're pregnant especially because
oh I didn't mention we were trying we were trying to get credit I'm feeling every day
so incredibly grateful to be pregnant but at the same time feeling like a complete I don't
know when the pregnancy glow is gonna come on as of right now I feel completely broken out like
if you get a close-up look at my face I'll show you I did put some concealer on so I don't know
if you can see anything but I have a lot of small bumps and on my forehead just basically
I don't know I put some cover up on for this video to look presentable but I don't look
presentable most of the time my skin is at its worst my physical body feels that it's worse
so I don't feel like I'm glowing yet people say once you get to the second trimester I don't know
maybe like between 14 and 20 weeks you start to feel like yourself again so let's hope I feel like
a disheveled version of myself who is afraid to leave the house because if I go out I might
get sick on the street and that's scary so that's kind of where I'm at with the nausea
some other bodily changes some other things I've been feeling throughout this time one huge one is
that I am just so so hungry all the time I don't think I've ever thought about food so much in my
whole life than I have in the past couple months but I am just pretty much starving at all times
simultaneously while being incredibly nauseous which is just the most unfortunate combination and
I find actually that the nausea is highly related to the hunger so I try my best to not ever have a
completely empty stomach I'm pretty much eating small grazing snacks throughout the entire day
and actually this Tupperware lives next to my bed clearly there's not that many pretzels left but
this Tupperware is usually filled to the brim with these gluten-free pretzels and I eat these
pretzels first thing lying in bed before I move in the morning I also eat them right before bed
before I go to sleep and sometimes I've woken up and had them in the middle of the night I do have
a few gluten-free crackers like plain crackers that have also been useful but the pretzels are
life-changing but I definitely find that nausea is tied to hunger so I try my best to have snacks
throughout the entire day so I will eat usually like three different types of breakfast spread out
every couple of hours I'll have hard-boiled egg I'll have a bowl of cereal I'll have a gluten-free
waffle and then as we transition into lunchtime I rarely just like have a lunch and call it a day
it's usually like an apple with peanut butter and then a string cheese and then some crackers and
then I don't know I'm I went out and got like all these grazing snacks dried apricots prunes grilled
cheese sandwiches I just try to eat as much as I can all day and that is the only thing that really
helps with the nausea and I start to feel nausea coming on as soon as I get hungry so I eat again
and that's just kind of stressful because I have been trying to just keep doing my work but I feel
like all I can think about is food and all I can think about is what I'm eating next and if it's
ready and prepared so that's what's going on I've been to the doctor a few times now since finding
out my doctor was really really kind to let me come in pretty much right away the day I found
out I was pregnant where I guess I was four weeks I think I actually found out before four weeks and
she let me come in for a blood test and then since then I've been back for two ultrasounds
I have some photos for you that I can share here uh the first ultrasound that showed you know just
that there was a little something in there and by the second ultrasound it had grown so much and
the baby already at that point had hands and feet or like paddles I don't know if it has fingers
yet but just like you can see little hands and feet at that point the tail is gone so like in
the first few weeks it has a tail and then the tail disappears and it's forming hands and feet
so you can see that we also were able to hear the heartbeat at that ultrasound appointment which was
so exciting beautiful at the time at which this video goes live when I'm in the second trimester
we will know the steps right now we don't know we both have sort of an inkling as to what it is and
we both think it's the same thing who knows I will let you know a little bit later on what the sex
is first I'm curious what your thoughts are and one thing I want to share is that when we first
found out that I was pregnant I did some research into you know how big is my baby right now and
when you are four weeks pregnant which is technically just two weeks after you've
conceived people say that your baby is the size of a poppy seed at that point so from that day
forward we started calling the baby poppy and that is what we call it so as of right now I don't know
the sex I know poppy sounds like it's a girl but um we just call it poppy so if it's a boy or girl
it's poppy that's not gonna be the name uh we have to get Michael on board to name it poppy first but
I personally think that's the cutest name and we just call it poppy right now so
this is poppy I think so many people who have had a baby have stories of what they called
their baby in the womb I know my mom called my brother rice head because he was the size of
a grain of rice at the point of what she thought about it but for us it's been poppy since day one
and all of our friends and family call it poppy too anyway I'm so excited to share more with you
I did my best to record some footage along the trying to conceive journey New York we're trying
because I did have an incredibly long cycle it took me a really long time to determine when
I ovulated so I was recording footage of myself along the journey just keeping you posted on where
we were at I ovulated again and it took total from day one of my period it took me to day 29 before
ovulation but I was testing every day starting at day seven so you can imagine how many ovulation
tests I went through it's about 1am I just came out of the bedroom because I cannot sleep at all
because I am confident that a fertilized embryo is implanting itself in my uterus as I speak
I do plan on in the next video including some of that footage you know to tell more
of a whole story of how we got from you know the day we wanted to try to the day I got pregnant
so I have so much to share please stay tuned and come back I wanted to let you know that because of
the way I've been feeling and also just because of the whole pregnancy at large I am planning
to slow down my Youtube posting cadence so I will probably be posting every other week from here on
out it's possible that I will pop in with surprise videos every so often but I just want to make sure
I'm not putting too much pressure on myself to have a weekly Youtube video especially when
your body is just needing some rest I've also been filming the way my body looks in the same outfit
at different points throughout the pregnancy so hopefully at the very end we'll be able to make a
really cool video using that footage just showing the growth journey right now you know even at 9 10
weeks I'm not really showing that much I can show you in the mirror I don't know I feel very bloated
I feel like I'm showing like this to me feels like showing but to the average person I look
very normal it feels very tender that's about it my boobs are growing which is very exciting
they're also very sore so I'm trying not to touch them too hard and yeah that's where we are at
right now anyway thank you for coming back to my channel I'm gonna get back to reading this book
right now this book has been really really helpful for anyone who has any sort of anxiety or stress
over pregnancy and like not knowing what to do and not knowing if you're gonna do something that's
gonna hurt the baby I would highly recommend this book I definitely was one of those people who
the moment I found out I was pregnant had kind of like a minor freak out and threw out a lot of my
skincare items and body care items and just like got so afraid of everything I was using and eating
and thankfully my gynecologist is very calm and centered and research based and she like kind
of calmed my fears about everything that I was freaking out about but also this book does a
really good job at just putting fears at bay and helping you like dissect the actual information
that's out there so that you can really know what is dangerous and what is not proven to
be dangerous at all and that's just given me peace of mind calms me down a lot would highly recommend
for any anxious people out there so that's it I'm just so so beyond excited about this whole journey
even though I'm currently in this time period of not feeling great I am so grateful to be in this
position I keep saying to Michael even through the nausea I'm just so grateful to be nauseous and so
grateful to be here I'm so grateful that we have a baby on the way I have always always wanted to be
a mom I have always had an obsession with babies and kids I'm the youngest of three obviously I'm a
twin but I'm one minute younger than ally so I was always the baby of the family and I always begged
my parents to have a younger sibling because that was all I wanted was to take care of a little
child they wouldn't do it for me so I had to have my own all I've ever wanted was to have a little
thing that relied on me that I could take care of and nurture and anytime my friends had little
siblings I was always the person that wanted to play with the little siblings even when they were
like oh no get them away I was always like I want to hold them I want to play with them I want to be
you know a surrogate big sister to them and so I'm just so excited I actually remember a video on my
Youtube channel from I think 2015 or 2016. it's one of my earliest videos on this channel where
I'm sharing all the ways that I stay positive and one of the things I said was that I try to
remember that I have so much excitement coming up in the future and that I'm gonna be in mom one day
actually letting yourself be excited about what's coming in the future sometimes I just sit and I
think about all the amazing things that haven't happened yet that are going to happen all of my
friends weddings I'm gonna have a baby one day oh my gosh I'm gonna be a mom and it's kind of a full
circle moment to reshare that on my channel today in 2021 when I now actually have a baby on the
way so I think it's so exciting and I'm just so beyond ecstatic about the fact that I'm gonna get
to share this journey with you I know I have a lot of young followers out there who maybe are nowhere
near having kids or maybe don't want to have kids but I just hope that my journey can be exciting
and inspiring and entertaining to you in some way so I'm really excited to bring you along on as
much of this as I can thank you for coming back to my channel stay tuned for my next video there will
be a lot more info and I have videos of telling our friends and family I have so much good stuff
to share with you so please come back in my next few videos and see you soon say goodbye to poppy
bye poppy say goodbye to Youtube bye pregnant pregnant my sister's pregnant no you're not
it's even follows you liar is that three four years oh Lucie are you pregnant are you kidding me
congratulations