Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World
‘Could you take a look at something that scared the wits out of me?’
We're watching Food of the Gods
'My father used to say, 'Morgan, one of these days the earth will get even with man for messing her up with his garbage''
Then he used to add 'I don't know why I told you that but maybe it'll randomly be relevant in the future'
‘What the hell are you talking about?’
The film features, Ida Lupino, one of only 2 women to direct a major studio film during the 1940s
And who deserves better than this
'Oh God!'
3 friends are out on an island hunting trip when one is attacked by giant wasps
His friend, Morgan, goes for help
And his reaction to this?
‘Hey, where the hell did you get those goddamn chickens?'
'You know those bastards almost killed me.’
And I might add, they’re giant.
But he doesn’t add that.
‘Lady, how large do you suppose those rats’ll get if they’ve gotten to this food?’
Which is the logical extrapolation of the giant chickens so I see no reason to question it
‘I mean, We’d sound like a couple of prize idiots telling the district attorney a giant something or other killed our buddy.’
Yeah, if only you had some proof like, oh I don’t know, a giant chicken!
‘I don’t suppose his friends said anything about seeing some big things?’
No, they actually don’t! And it’s not just them
‘Look, I didn’t come all the way out here to this Goddamn hole to see some dead chicken carcasses’
They are quite big. I know you live in the city and don’t see chickens everyday,
but animals growing to this size thanks to a natural porridge spring in the back garden is unusual
These new characters introduce another problem to Food of the Gods
‘Jobs for a female bacteriologist are not that easy to find’
There’s a saying in screenwriting, it’s better to show than tell.
So, for example if you want establish your antagonist he might
'Please, please stop.'
drive past a stranded pregnant woman.
‘Who put this goddamn gate here?’
or shout at a gate. And if that still seems too subtle
‘You’re a bastard, did you know that?’
‘As a matter of fact I do’
We’ll call that character established.
‘You’re not a good man Mr Benzington’
It’s the same with romance
'It won't be easy but I think I can learn to like you'
'You're the only man I've seen beat Benzington in one upmanship.'
And now they’re in love
'I want you to make love to me.'
'It is crazy isn't it.'
Yes, but more because Morgan represents a problem with this film even larger than the poultry
'i just guess the whole thing wasn’t such a good idea after all’
Morgan and Brian return to the island for no real reason to find the rat problem out of hand
‘Rita, come to the door’
Come on out and die, honey
'What do we do now?'
Leave!
'If anyonewants to come along they can come'
The bad guy is right, you've got cars
'You and I take a ride in my jeep and have a little look for ourselves'
what you’re just going for a drive amongst the giant rats
‘What the hell for?’
Good question
‘I don’t know’
bad answer not even his friend agrees
‘What the hell are we going out there for? In this open jeep we don't stand a chance’
let's find out
And this happens after they've been driving around for 10 minutes
At this point you could just be driving past on your way to the dock!
'Rats can swim'
You're right, I hadn't thought of that
'At a weight of 150 pound the gravity pulls gonna make it a whole new thing,'
'I think they're going to have to learn to swim all over again'
Okay, just to explain why that’s total cobblers, most of us learnt to swim when we were little kids –
when we grew up, we did not sink
‘You’ve got a point there’
Because Morgan spends so long faffing around and getting people killed
The rats have had time to regroup and trap the survivors
But not to worry, Morgan has a plan
He drives off again, leaving a bacteriologist, an elderly lady, and a woman currently in labour, to defend themselves
not that successfully
While Morgan demonstrates once again that if you just leave, you’re fine!
what are you doing?
Brilliant, now they have no option but to climb up there with you
'Oh god no!"'
‘Well, maybe we shouldn’t have listened to you’
Damn right you shouldn’t! Everyone who dies in this film is Morgan’s fault.
I honestly don’t see how this could get worse
Oh who left that lying around?
'Stop it,please stop it.'
In all my years of dark Cornering the only other hero I've seen this incompetent
is the one in Killer Shrews where a small group are trapped on an island by giant rodents
and they walk to the beach to see if it's safe before- oh good grief it's the same movie.
‘Dumb bastards’
In that case you should watch killer Shrews, it's much
shorter.
Real hard Corners subscribe.
Good to see Ida Lupino even in this what other golden era movie stars
Have you spotted in unflattering late career roles?