- TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE BOOK AND ABOUT MARCEL.
- WELL, MARCEL THE SHELL IS A CHARACTER THAT I CREATED
WITH MY HUSBAND, DEAN FLEISCHER-CAMP,
AND HE'S A SHELL AND HE HAS ONE EYE AND TWO SHOES
AND A FACE AND A PERSONALITY, LIKE MANY OF US DO,
TO HAVE PERSONALITIES AND YEAH. - UH-HUH.
- AND HE LIVES IN A LITTLE CONTAINER IN MY HOME
SURROUNDED BY COTTON BALLS. - SO HE'S, UH--
IT'S REALLY HILARIOUS AND THERE'S OVER 34 MILLION VIEWS
OF THE THREE VIDEOS YOU HAVE ON YOUTUBE.
AND HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS CHARACTER?
- WELL, HE HAS A LITTLE VOICE THAT--
- YOUR VOICE--IT'S YOU. - IT'S MY VOICE, YES.
- YOU'RE TALKING LIKE HE HAS--IT'S YOU.
- RIGHT, HIS VOICE IS LIKE, "IT'S LIKE THIS,
CAN YOU HEAR IT?" IT'S LIKE A LITTLE VOICE.
- UH-HUH. AND I STARTED DOING IT BECAUSE
I WAS AT A WEDDING WITH SOME FRIENDS
AND I WAS STUCK IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH MY HUSBAND, MY BEST FRIEND,
MY FRIEND, MIKE, HIS HUSBAND, LOTS OF MEN,
THEY WERE ALL EVERYWHERE, USING THE BATHROOM AND, LIKE,
JUST CROWDING ME AND I STARTED TO FEEL REALLY SMALL
AND STARTED TO BE LIKE, "AH, I'M NEVER GOING
TO GET INTO THE BATHROOM."
AND THAT'S ART. - AND THAT'S HOW YOU CAME UP
WITH THIS WHOLE THING, AND NOW LOOK AT IT.
YOU HAVE--LET'S SHOW EVERYONE. IT'S REALLY, REALLY, FUNNY.
- EE, UH, MY ONE REGRET IS THAT I'LL NEVER HAVE A DOG.
BUT SOMETIMES I TIE A HAIR TO A PIECE OF LINT
AND I DRAG IT AROUND.
COME ON, I LOVE YOU, COME ON, COME ON.
[baby cooing noises]
HIS NAME IS ALAN.
GUESS WHERE I FOUND HIM. - WHERE?
- UNDER A TOOTH.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. - WHAT?
- LINT IS A SHELL'S BEST FRIEND.
[laughter]
- IT'S SO GREAT. IT'S SO GREAT.
I LOVE THE VOICE, I LOVE THE CHARACTER,
I REALLY LIKE THAT IT'S A DOG THAT YOU--IS A PIECE OF LINT.
- YEAH. - UM, BUT NOW I MUST
ASK YOU THIS QUESTION. SO YOU GREW UP--
WHERE'D YOU GROW UP? - I GREW UP IN MASSACHUSETTS.
- MASSACHUSETTS, THERE'S A LOT OF OLDER HOUSES THERE.
- THAT'S RIGHT, AND I GREW UP IN A GENUINE HAUNTED HOUSE.
- OKAY, SO WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL,
YOU KNEW IT WAS HAUNTED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG?
- YES, I KNEW IT WAS HAUNTED. MY PARENTS, WHEN THEY MOVED IN,
THEY BOUGHT IT, KINDA LIKE, ALL THE FURNITURE IN IT,
THE PEOPLE HAD DIED, AND--
I'M GETTING SCARED EVEN TELLING THE STORY.
BUT, UM, SO, MY MOM WAS LIKE, THE RUNNER ON THE STAIRS,
SHE'S LIKE KIND OF A HYPOCHONDRIAC SOMETIMES,
AND, "IT'S MAKING ME--I'M GOING TO HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK."
SO THEY TORE THE RUNNER AWAY, AND UNDERNEATH THEY FOUND
ALL THESE PACKETS OF LETTERS THAT WERE WRITTEN TO SOMEONE
WHO HAD LIVED IN THE HOUSE, BUT THEY WEREN'T FROM HER HUSBAND,
THEY WERE FROM LIKE A SEA CAPTAIN, FROM A SHIP.
AND THEY WERE LIKE ROMANTIC LETTERS, AND MY DAD IS THE POET,
AND HE WAS LIKE, "OH, I'M GOING TO WRITE A STORY, YOU KNOW,
"I'M GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THESE,
I'M GOING TO WRITE POEMS ABOUT THIS."
SO HE PUT THE LETTERS IN HIS STUDY AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS.
AND THEN A FEW NIGHTS LATER, MY MOM SMELLED PIPE SMOKE,
AND MY DAD SMOKED A PIPE, MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF PIPES,
[laughs] A FAMILY TRADITION.
- WELL, NOW WE'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE ANY OF IT.
BECAUSE-- - NO, I SWEAR, ELLEN.
- ALL RIGHT.
- AND MY MOM SMELLED THE PIPE SMOKE AND SHE WAS LIKE,
"RON, COME TO BED!"
AND SHE ROLLED OVER AND HE WAS ASLEEP.
SO SHE'S LIKE, "OH, YOU KNOW, YOU LEFT YOUR PIPE BURNING,
"YOU'RE GOING TO BURN DOWN THIS NEW--OLD HAUNTED HOUSE
THAT WE JUST BOUGHT."
AND MY DAD IS LIKE, "I DIDN'T SMOKE MY PIPE TONIGHT."
SO MY MOM, OF COURSE, IS LIKE, "WELL, THEN THERE'S A ROBBER
"IN THE HOUSE AND HE'S SMOKING A PIPE,
"AND HE'S GOING TO--YOU KNOW, HE'S GOING TO STEAL
ALL OF THE JUNK THAT'S IN HERE, I GUESS,"
AND SO MY DAD WENT OUT INTO THE HALL
AND HE LOOKED ONTO THE STAIRS,
AND HE SAYS, LIKE, HE SAW IT,
BUT HE KINDA DIDN'T SEE IT.
AND WHAT THERE WAS STANDING THERE THIS SEA CAPTAIN
WHO WAS JUST, LIKE, LOOKING AT HIM, KIND OF PLEADING.
AND, OF COURSE, MY DAD IS LIKE, [squeals]
AND THEN RAN--YOU KNOW, LIKE JUMPED INTO THE BED.
AND MY MOM'S LIKE, "WELL, WE CAN'T BRING UP OUR DAUGHTERS
IN THIS, LIKE, CRAZY HAUNTED HOUSE."
AND SO THEY ASKED THEIR SORT OF LIKE, SHAMAN-TYPE FRIEND,
AND HE TOLD THEM TO BURN THE LETTERS.
'CAUSE THEY'RE NONE OF OUR BEESWAX.
UM, AND WE DID, AND THE GHOST NEVER CAME BACK,
BUT EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SEEN OTHER GHOSTS.
AND I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE EVER.
- YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ONE. - I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE.
- SO JUST YOUR FATHER, WHO SMOKES SOME TYPE OF A PIPE...
- RIGHT. - HAS SEEN A SEA CAPTAIN.
- YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH, MY DAD. - ALL RIGHT, WELL...
[applause]
NOT REALLY A HAUNTED HOUSE. - THAT'S FAIR, THAT'S FAIR.
IT'S FAIR. - OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA TELL YOU
RIGHT NOW, YOU DID NOT GROW UP IN A HAUNTED HOUSE.
- WHAT? - NO.
[laughter]
- WELL, MY MOM, ACTUALLY SHE SAW ONE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO,
AND SHE IS SO USED TO SEEING GHOSTS AT THIS POINT,
I WAS LIKE, "WELL, WHAT--" YOU KNOW, IT WAS IN FRONT
OF HER BED, I GUESS--AND I WAS LIKE, "WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO?"
AND SHE WAS LIKE, "WELL, I SAID, THIS IS REALLY ANNOYING,
'CAUSE IT'S IN FRONT OF THE BED AND I WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP."
- WOW, SO THEY JUST ACCEPTED THERE'S GHOSTS IN THE HOUSE.
- YEAH, THEY'VE JUST SEEN SO MANY GHOSTS
AND I FEEL LIKE THE GHOSTS ARE WAITING,
SINCE I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT HASN'T SEEN ONE,
THEY'RE LIKE, "WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING
REALLY GOOD FOR HER NOW." - YEAH.
- YOU KNOW. - SO WHEN IT HAPPENS,
LET ME KNOW, COME BACK AND TELL ME ABOUT IT.
- FINE. - YEAH, I WON'T BELIEVE YOU.
- [laughs] - UM.