*WHAPOOSH* TOP of the mornin' to ya laddies
My name is jacksepticeye and welcome to a game called *terrible accent that gets worse as it continues* EN GARDE, where we, are going to play this
LUFSCIOUS lovely lady and we are going to fight against some people
*normal voice* This is a game that was on Itch.io as well, but it looks incredible! Like the visuals and everything look astonishing!
It looks way better than
Most of the games that I've seen on Itch but it also looks like a fun game because, you have- again you have your sword
*le studder*
Fencer rape-ier- wrappy-a shouldn't say rapier. That sounds really bad. This sthowrd is rapier than the other one!
*le finger*
Nononono.
*music starts up, Jack matches noise* FLI-GA-DIIING!
BUT, the controls of this game look like they're really fun, because you get into these little battles with people
and you can, kick down bookshelves on them and, stab them in the face, and you-
*dialogue on screen (drag captions up to read dialogue easier)*
*dialogue on screen*
*Jack hums*
*dialogue on screen*
Must've been tough!
*dialogue on screen*
Good for you!
*dialogue on screen*
Get out there! Explore the world!
*dialogue on screen*
(Goddamnit Robin!)
*dialogue on screen*
Your name is wat? (Confused Jack is confused)
*dialogue on screen*
Adavala De Valdavor? (Close enough)
*dialogue on screen
*Jack correcting himself in Le Spanish accent:" Adalia De Volador. *normal accent* Of course.
*dialogue on screen*
MY MOTHER'SSS DEAD!
*dialogue on screen*
So you told- I told you that I'm a Valador, and you told me to go home to my mother?
*dialogue on screen*
Okay.
*dialogue on screen*
I would LOVE a fencing lesson I have no idea how to play this.
*dialogue on screen*
I don't know what I'm doing! The buttons are all on Xbox controller!
*clink clanks as Jack kicks the dude's ass*
*le silence*
HEY! I KILLED HIM! He's dead now!
*inhale*
Ah, that's great!
Ok, if this is all gonna be on Xbox, then I'm gonna have to get in the Xbox MIIIND!
WHERE'S MY CONTROLLER!? Oh, hold on!
*shaky shake*
Hold on, all ya'll gonna get it now!
Y'all going get it now! For my name is not
*le stroke*
ADALIVOLDOR! (Trying and failing to say the girl's name)
(10/10)
HaHA!
Okay. Okay. Stop giving me things
OW! Just - how did??
Oh
There we go. There we go. I'm all tangled in strings
I don't know what the fuck is happening. There! I knocked down a candle take that candle. Repartee!
Repartee heals you and can make enemies run away if an enemy hits you the repartee isn't dropped
OW! Let me show you how you should handle it do it
Let me show you should do immediately stabbed
Okay, I'm pressing the button when you're telling me to -hey that worked! Is he dead?
He is now
HaHA stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab!
*dialogue on screen*
I don't really care about anything else I'm not going to repartee, I'm not gonna repost,
I'm not gonna parry or block. I'm just gonna keep stabbing until the world bends to my will. Oh,
OOH I can free run!
*dialogue on screen*
Okay, you're just telling me to press this to free run. You're not telling me where to go. Oh
Maybe I'm supposed to free run up these
Aha, I did it. I nailed it
Okay, here we go at-dahlias-vault-or! let's get in there and kick some ass. who wants a piece? Ooh fruit!
Eduardo
WOAH! Sick flip!
En garde BEACHES!
haha
OW STAB STAB AGAIN. I don't even need to do anything. I don't need to have any skill or tact
All I have to do is keep stabbing. Haha
I will NOT surrender! Never! You can't make me -ooo God you stabbed me a lot
You can't make me surrender for I am uh-down-a-road-or stab stab stab I don't have to do anything else
I don't care what you guys want me to do. I don't care how you want me to play your game
I'm just gonna stab until the world crumbles
It's very warm in here. Find a cap-ee-tan and interrogate him. Hello Capitan?
WoAH
I stabbed him like immediately and killed him
That was incredible! *dialogue on screen* First off, that's a meme. Secondly, you're dead!
How are you talking then?
Capitan, nope dead man. Capitan?!
Capitan?
I'm just trying to find a Capitan, you know, maybe I should go on tinder and try and find one. Oh
This takes a whole new meaning to swipe right
STAB STAB STAB STAB DODGE! OW! Okay, do your thing?
Ooooww. That did not work.
We weren't fighting seriously before? I thought my endless stabbings were the reason we were doing it
Okay, I want to kill somebody with a bookshelf
Well, they're all already dead. But I want to kill somebody else with the bookshelf
Oh I straight up fucking crushed him
oh that's awesome!! I love that!
How are you still talking
Your face isn't even there. You're part man part bookshelf right now
Alright, who else can we find? That clears the upper deck now down into the depths into the drudges where the shit is.
Yeah, I killed everybody else so far and you died in one stab pretty sure I can fight you yeah
Hello lads! Ba-BOOSH! HaHA
This is the BEST GAME EVER MADE!
You're ruining the festivities by killing us.
Oh, you're still alive!
Well, there we go
I didn't even hit you. You just went down
Goddammit!
Sure looks like my home
That's the Capitan!
This ain't your home anymore. She's unstoppable
Sorry lads
Sorry boys. I have places to be! I'm gonna get the Hunchback of Notre Dame over here
Captain Hook. We meet again
OH god OH god
Okay- there is a LOT of people here
That's not how you say it- you say
TRAITOR
Haven't you watched Star Wars? Please don't die! Catch me if you can said Leonardo DiCaprio in that movie
Haha what is up with my run cycle? Did I shit my pants? Probably, okay. AhA!
En gardeee!
She's here, she's queer, she don't want any more bears! how many people will actually get that reference? pass stab stab
I see you've been stabbed before signore
hahaha she's not even there
She's on the ground
It's Danny DeVito. Get over!. What are you doing? Get your sword?
No you didn't!!
Watch out! there's a table
[laughter]
This is the greatest video game ever made!
[more laughter]
Why is that so funny??
They're all just dead and then oh no, she's coming back. I was just pretending to be dead. Interrogate another captain. aw, man
*En garde!* (in game dialogue) That's the name of the game!!
He knows! Sorry about your tree
I see another CapITAN
HAULT
I love the dialogue; it's SO cheesy
You're not doing a very good job dude
STAB STAB KILL kill 'em dead!
I LOVE your mustache
Just give me a little haircut like *scissor sounds*
He just fell over! I just looked at him and he went down; I didn't touch him
Beat up the last capitan
No, I'm not. No, I'm leaving now. Oh, yes
table attack
I love the tables. That's my favorite part of this game so far
AaaahhhHH (jack imitating screaming from game)
Sit the fuck down. Well do a flip do another flip. Oh man. She was doing flips a second ago
Nice paint. Oh my god. It looks like you- I'm gonna call you captain Redbeard from now on. Sorry
Capitan red beard. Also. There's just people up in the balconies
Are you not entertained? You're a brother to me Anakin!
I loved you! you were supposed to bring balance to the force
That you were supposed to destroy the dark destroy the Sith not join- WHATEVER you were my brother!
[laughter]
Ah! Signore Capitan, oh you guys are so-
The intruder is heRE (jack imitating game)
That works! smashy-smashy haha
Here we go
THERE WE GO! Oh capitan, man!
Where'd you go?
Searching for you is like trying to find a frame rate somewhere! Oh tables -you stepped in the WRONG house fool
OH shit HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That was the fucking greatest thing that has EVER happened to me
Yeah, exactly. Get back here. Where do you think you're going bitch?
I'ma chase him I'm gonna chase them and then I'm killing them and then I will make him eat his own socks
Cuz that's what I do
Oh, no
Don Villano
How did you not know that it was him?
His name literally sounds like the Italian version of villain?
Ew. Can you not talk about your men's tips?
Can you SHUT UP?
Don't listen to him! He a liar!
There's too many objects in this room- the game can't keep up. I can't see shit capitan
Stop TALKIN I don't care!
uh oh UH OH
NOOoo god dammit, I can't play in these conditions, okay? I need frame rates
Oh, there we go, there we go- I lowered some settings and now I can actually see things again
OH delight delight dellilah
Was it this room? Don Villano?
She's trapped! Oh no! What are we gonna do?
Look at this! I can actually see!
You talk a lot for a big smelly man
there we go! there we GO! come on
WOOO table attack!
didn't think of that did ya?!
OOoow! My face hurts from that sword!
Okay, okay, okay. Quitsies, quitsies. NO NO quitsies
haHA (maniacal laugh)
th-that's a little close
And are you not ENTERTAINED? oh we're still talking
Audible gasp!
J'ACCUSE!! J'ACCUSE!!
You will pay for your indiscretions!
Ironic, he could save others from death
but he could not save himself
this is the GREATEST VIDEO GAME ever made!
[more laughter]
I love that attack!
BONK
Hahaha they're tripping over each other and everything!
god bless you game developer!
God bless you. I hope you're having a wonderful day. Yes, he's dead
Watching characters trip and fall over each other kicking pots bonking 'em in the head kicking tables
and watching them slip and fall!
this is THE BEST DAY
Okay, well that does it for En Garde! we have saved the kingdom
We have brought order back to our family and we have killed Danny DeVito: all of the day's work of being A-DALIO-VOL-DALO
What was her name again? That was honestly really really fun to play
It was a lot like Assassin's Creed but with the parkour and everything, but the gameplay itself was fun
If they actually worked on the the mechanics itself and you didn't- you couldn't just get away which is spamming attack all the time then
This would be really really fun
I would love to see this turn into like a fully fleshed out experience cuz I enjoyed myself and it has
incredible visuals for being just like an itch dot IO game because I normally a lot of those are
made really quickly or they're just
Concepts or anything. this seems like it's very well thought out, very well fleshed out so- good job developers. Also most hilarious game
I've played all week. That was amazing. I had so much fun playing that. that literally
Legitimately made me laugh out loud. You made me lol developers. Hold on
Anyway, thank you guys so much for watching this video if you liked it
punch that like button in the face
LIKE A BOSS and high fives all around
WAPSHHH WAPSHHH
THANK YOU GUYS and I will see all you dudes
IN THE NEXT VIDEO
[ending music]
You have not heard the end of U-dALve-de danoo