what's this how many times do i have to tell you to stop leaving your clothes all over the
bedroom floor here man we know you're tired after a long day of work but take note the same effort
is in fact exerted in both of these scenarios in other words please stop leaving the bedroom a mess
oh you want to talk about making a mess let me stop you right there here the art of
shutting the [ __ ] up i don't get it it says nothing exactly and it just saved your life
look at how happy he is watching his sports on tv
he'll never love you as much as he loves watching his sports whoa
let's put the brakes a little it's just a game are we really going to start drama over something so
we're ready to start the show the show wait do we really need to make a production out of this
what if it doesn't go well shouldn't we at least rehearse some lines so that we don't
sound completely crazy it's more fun to improv don't want to sound too rehearsed let's just
start with something passive-aggressive if y'all get to [ __ ] the television and pay attention
to me i'm going to go ballistic whoa okay so we went a little great now he's just staring at us
hoping we'll say something even more ridiculous how many times have i tried to explain this to
you when we don't think our outbursts through we end up looking like the bad guy but it's so
much more fun to play the bad guy keep it up we're going to be single one of these days perhaps we'll
just keep staring him down until he speaks and says something dumb so you're just gonna stare
at me like i'm crazy or we could just provoke him some more to try to listen to the response that's
we have broken eye contact what's the status of our last nerve
don't look away from me when i talk to you do you know how important communication is to me
oh great now we just do the thing where he rolls his eyes inside and you know what that does to us
oh he's literally left the building it only took three sentences this time
that's a new record okay so now we have to do recon and call them up and apologize
don't ever say that we don't apologize we don't well we might admit to being a little crazy or
sensitive but we don't say the words i'm sorry why not because you have to regret your actions to be
sorry this is something we don't have time for regret it happens we're women and we do what we
got to do to function so we're still gonna call in and say something right nah we'll go on facebook
feeling frustrated if someone really loves you they'll prove it see that's all you need just a
vague statement but we'll get the sentiment out there why do we want this out there how
else are we going to invent our frustrations oh i don't know therapy maybe very expensive honey
i'm just saying there's so many flavors out there and they choose to be salty
i'm sorry i spent so much time watching sports you don't mean it when you say it
like that like what when the inflection goes up and wild like that i'm sorry
you don't mean it if i say it i mean it and you don't pay attention to me when i talk to you
whoa let's stick to one argument every time we were getting somewhere let's not completely
derail this please oh but i love a good train ride let's bring up some more in the past
if you like he's about to say something okay i'm sorry i don't give you my full attention when you
speak also it's just that as a man i zone out if too many details are being offered no offense but
sometimes you seem to go on and on and on well i am detail-oriented i'm not gonna argue that can
you just also admit that you can be a drama queen drama queen yeah have you ever thought of selling
that crown and getting some counseling this just got real good i'll go make an appointment
there you go how does it taste babe you can tell the truth okay let's see here
warning face muscles are exerting maximum effort do not reveal how this tastes hold it together
it's good really you can be honest this is a trap keep the lie going your relationship is not built
on lies have faith but she'll be okay with the truth which is that she's a cook you're out of
your mind if you're not gonna lie just be honest she can handle it okay well the truth is baby um
it's not too late to tell a half truth tell a half truth that it's a little bland maybe brad
i knew that was coming